“…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself…” Franklin D Rosevelt, American President 1933, USA

I feel so big and so small all at once. A reminder that fear itself is something very real to be afraid of now – no matter how vast or petty your existence has been in the greater prognosis of our human existence. But there are things better left unknown, unfelt, and unfeared.

Fear was always something I’d read about but never really understood. I thought I was afraid of spiders, turned out I was merely surprised by their sudden presence in mine.

From the very moment humans feel fear, we lose a portion of our life span. Every time we’re afraid, the ‘clock’ starts and you age… and age…until you feel safe once again. At an alarming rate, approximately 1 hour of fear subtracts 24 hours from your life. No one knows for sure when it started exactly; you wouldn’t miss a day off your life, here and there, at least for those of us living in a blessed region that is relatively free of real fear. Once the science was able to confirm what was happening, it was evident everywhere our lives were endangered and more and more people lived in a very counterproductive fear. Society collapsed before we could figure out why this is happening. From those who I’ve been blessed to deeply converse with, most people live now in real fear an average of 5 hours a day. Just trying to hide, forge for food and survive.

I need to find medical help, find a way to put people on pause. I have a new theory. For some unknown reason throughout my life, I’ve been unable to feel fear. As an adult I sought counseling, brain scans, did studies and never got an answer. Nor did any doctor seem concerned enough to continue looking for an answer; told me to feel gifted or lucky. So, I did. Plus, I couldn’t pay my medical bills so…

Now, what if we could stop others from being afraid? I haven’t aged a single day since it all started, maybe 10 years ago, it’s bizarre, even scary I imagine.

I will not stand by and the watch the world grow old and die while I stay young. I should be 30, my friends should be 30, but instead they’re probably almost 50 years old – and here I am, frozen at 20.

I am will travel as long and far as my feet will go, leaving this note at postal services in the towns I pass through. If anyone finds this, find a way to make yourself not feel the fear and, just, find any way to feel safe. Maybe it will buy some time for me to spread the word. I hope there’s others out there like me. Let us pray to anything which could help find a cure. I refuse to let us live as pawns played on high speed by some unseeable malevolence.