First off, there’s no twist in this story, but there is a surprise. Second (off?), I’m dead. Like doornail dead. Though, if I’m being honest, I’ve never seen a doornail, so maybe just murder victim dead. And I was murdered. But this isn’t the kind of story where I get revenge, because I wasn’t murdered by a who, but an it. A monster-y kinda thing. It was terrifying right before. I ran from it, but I tripped and it killed me. But quickly. There was barely any pain at all.

Anyway, I guess I’m saying all this because, no one really gets revenge on monsters in these stories, do they? Not unless they’re metaphorical ones. (My stepdad killed my little brother. What a monster. That kind of thing.) No, my monster had needle teeth and no eyes but tons of eye sockets. Very literal.

Which brings me back to death. I was eaten. Just swallowed whole, which doesn’t feel very narratively satisfying, I’ll admit, but it was practical. And possibly eco-friendly? (We didn’t study monster biology in public school.) I had a good life though. Pretty much. I liked my job and I lived in a nice place. I had friends. I had friends.

Which brings me to the horror rules portion of this story. (Yep. One of those.)

One of my friends, Christian, broke Rule 6. And to understand Rule 6, you only need to know a few things. I was 27 when I met Christian, I’m a woman and I was swallowed whole.

Now, today is a special day. It’s Christian’s 29th birthday. Those friends I had—they’re his friends too. And right now, I’m outside, watching the lights turn on in his apartment. You can’t hear it because this is a written story, but there’s a kind of triumphant sound coming from inside. A shout really.

“Surprise!” (That’s the surprise.)

Afterwards, I drift in a ghostly fashion to the door. It’s still ajar, so I don’t need to slip through it. As I enter, there’s another shout. A horrified one. Because that monster from earlier—it follows me now. And it’s hungry. And it didn’t really kill me quickly. That was a lie. But hey, according to all of Christian’s friends (the ones at this party), I’m a liar. And if the shoe fits, etc.

Christian broke Rule 6. They said he didn’t even though they knew he did. What’s Rule 6? Well, according to the Rules it’s actually a Rule that I would break if I told you. You can find it in the About tab for this sub. Only, it really felt like he broke the Rule. I was just silenced by it. Don’t talk about it. Pretend it didn’t happen. Wouldn’t want to ruin his life.

Which brings me back to death.

(I lied about the revenge thing.)

(Sorry.)

(but..Twist.)

And incidentally, I just ghosted through the door on the way out. Now I’ve seen a doornail. Just about as lively as the party.