I saw the sign while I was out shopping.

Moist Butt Mustard: $10.

It was a tiny shop wedged between two large ones. I did a double take. Surely it wasn’t right and furthermore, what the hell was Butt Mustard?

A young lady stood at the counter, freshly dressed with bubbly eyes.

“Hello! Do you want a sample before you buy?”

I was intrigued. Clearly it was written all over my face as she handed me a pair of used panties.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise it was that kind of shop.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it,” she said with a sly smile. “You wouldn’t believe how many men like yourself come to my store.”

Her cheekiness won out. I took hold of the undergarments, glanced around to see if anyone was watching, and took a deep whiff.

The scent was cloying. Pungent. It went up my nose and rattled my brains. Sweat, shit and the other thing all blended together in a thick, sickly smell.

I woke up strapped to the floor. Five other men crouched in front of me in varying stages of consciousness. We were all naked. A man at the front had his face in a bowl, wafting down some unthinkable slop.

“Glad you could join us.” The girl from earlier smiled smugly.

“What have you done to me?” I shook my chains. My wrist burnt against the struggle.

“You are a dirty man, just like these,” she spat. “You wanted butt mustard, now you have it.”

Just then the man at the front killed over and died. His butt hole opened up and sprayed shit all down the line. Pieces of it hit me in the face.

Bile rose up and added to the mess.

“You sicken me. All of you. Disgusting. Getting off on smelling a girl’s used underwear.”

“Please!” I begged. “I didn’t know!”

“That’s what they all say.”

Suddenly my skin started to burn where the faeces had hit. Pieces of my face blistered and melted to the floor. The other men moaned. The guy behind the man at the front screamed to high heaven as his face peeled off. Shit covered him. Blisters rose up like water balloons. Each one seeking until they burst.

I struggled again and found one of the chains coming loose. The blisters man killed over and died just as I managed to get one arm free.

My skin was on fire. Pain searing through my skin to the bones beneath.

The third man succumbed much like the others. Skin melting off his body. I was lucky I didn’t have the full impact. It took another second to break free. The lady didn’t stop me as I chased away. She only laughed.

I escaped into the night. Welts of skin flapping in the wind.

If you see that sign and that woman, steer clear.