You may laugh after reading the title. “What is so dangerous about a Belgian Gnome?” you may ask yourself. And the answer is: Nothing. At least not inherently. The Belgian Gnome is a creature full of harmless cheeriness and petty-bourgeois sociability. He can talk about almost anything to almost anyone, although his views are conventional and he has no in-debt knowledge of any subject. He can drink, play cards and sing. He is polite, good with children and a moderate eater.

And yet…terrible things happen to those who welcome him into their house.

At first it is only petty stuff. Dust settles in inconvenient places, the wart on your foot multiplies, your hair starts looking unkempt and greasy. Then suddenly the water in your house tastes foul, your potted plants die and you start having suspicions. But you don´’t want to bother the Belgian Gnome…after all he is such a nice fellow.

Shortly afterwards, the letters start arriving. They look very official, but are sent by ministries you have never heard of and cite laws that likely do not exist. It is never quite clear what is wanted of you, except that you are supposed to come to a certain office to show this document or that license. You arrive there, only to find out that the people who are responsible for your case are either out for lunch or have retired years ago. You fill out forms, ask politely, try the other office at the end of the city, find that there is no one there and go home in a state of total demoralization. The Belgian Gnome grins at you.

New letters arrive, written by different ministries and citing different paragraphs, but with the same intent. You go hither and tither, your feet getting sore, the various offices and streets starting to melt together in your memory. You observe that the clerks, secretaries and officials all seem to resemble a certain person, but you cannot recall whom. At home your windows have been smashed, there is neither gas nor warm water and the post starts cluttering your doorway.

Before you know it, you are inhabiting a nightmarish pseudo-reality, full of labyrinthine office buildings and cold, forbidding streets that always lead your starting point. The Belgian Gnome leers at you from every ministerial letterhead and every road sign. All the people you meet are looking like him too, although you will probably not realize that. In fact, you might no longer realize anything. You will either disappear somewhere, go crazy or just lie down in a stairway to die.