Fluorescent lights flicker above, mimicking the sound of flies meeting their end to an electric swatter. I hear a leaky pipe in the distance, each drop timed so that its sound reaches me as the one before it dissipates.

I cut through the air with my hands as I call out the symbols, “B-A-A-A-A-A-A-A,” summoning my HUD.

I follow a glowing red dot to a run-down laundry room. The machines are in various stages of disrepair — broken glass, doors hanging off hinges, and metal eaten away by rust whose appetite will never be satisfied.

An acrid stench permeates through the air and each step I take is met with a gelatinous resistance.

“Shit,” I exclaim, realizing that I have just stumbled into an ankle-biter’s nest.

skitter skitter skitter

“B-LB-Y-RT-A-X-B-→-X-LB-LB-LB”

My trusty sword appears before me and, as I grab the handle, an ankle-biter leaps out from the shadows. Even in the dim light, their terrifying features are unmistakable. Skin and eyes so jaundiced, it reminds me of the color of piss on snow. Their face is overgrown with sharp and jagged teeth and their claws are sharper than Miyabi knives.

With a motion so smooth it would impress an immortal samurai, my sword sings like an operatic soprano, cutting the creature in half, its insides dropping to the ground like spaghetti and meatballs.

I hear a growl, several in fact, and my HUD starts to light up like a Christmas tree. I summon another sword and proceed to paint the room brown and black with the blood of eviscerated ankle-biters.

SKITTER SKITTER SKITTER

“Ugh!”

I cut down the charging rapscallion as its horn tears through my uniform, taking a chunk of flesh from my arm with it. It’s painful, but I’ve suffered worse.

I hack and slash my way out into the hallway, my swords performing a duet as they chase me into a large boiler room. I look around the room and see that I am surrounded with no escape route in sight.

As they slowly start to close in on me, I realize I have no choice but to use it. With the grace and execution of a tenured orchestral conductor, I swing my swords through the air, forming the forbidden symbols while shouting to the heavens.

“↑-↑-↓-↓-←-→-←-→-B-A!”

Otherworldly hands and feet start punching and stomping through portals, ripping and tearing, and kicking and squashing. Howls of pain and confusion fill the air as the horde of ankle-biters and rapscallions are decimated before my very eyes.

In the aftermath, there isn’t a living creature among them. The floor is slick with viscera. Limbs and teeth and fangs and claws are strewn about everywhere. I walk through the carnage and make my way to the surface. I sit on the curb outside of the building and close my eyes, taking a deep breath.

Although I hadn’t expected to encounter ankle-biters and rapscallions, at least furry crumb-snatchers weren’t there, too. Oh well, it’s just another day with the CCDF.