Hello to all of you potential recruits! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mr. Deacon and I’m a talent scout of sorts. Don’t worry about my first name. We likely won’t have more than two to three conversations at a maximum so over-familiarity does us no favors.

My clients task me with acquiring talented individuals for extremely specific and high-pressure career opportunities. It is my assurance to you that should we meet to discuss an employment opportunity you will be provided a cash offer unattainable anywhere else. Do you need medical? Not a problem! Paid time off varies by job posting but in most instances, one to two weeks a year will be considered manageable. Retirement, if you reach it, is unparalleled in any other public or private-sector job. The contract terms are quite binding though. You see, once you fill these positions it is of the utmost importance that the position stays filled. Your work, dear applicant, is a matter of life and death in most instances.

I’ve performed these talent acquisitions for the better part of the last fifty years and have found that the greatest success in filling these unique roles simply lies in telling the truth. My clients seek a desperate sort. Those down on their luck seem to be far more willing to take on this employment. It is difficult to convince a person with a comfortable lifestyle and a rainy day fund to accept these deadly jobs. In recent years, I have also discovered that the curious sort will occasionally wander into my reach to fill these positions.

Dear applicant, you may have heard tales from my talent acquisitions from time to time. A random tale pops up from time to time describing their gainful employment. Tales of beasts, tortured souls, foul imps. My father often told me as I grew up that you shouldn’t believe every outlandish tale you hear. What he didn’t tell me is that more of the outlandish tales you hear are true but we simply cannot or will not accept the maddening possibilities the darker corners of our world can bring.

I’ve gotten terribly off track. Please allow me to regain my footing here. Below I will tell you of two positions available as well as the benefits and potential risks. You clicked on this listing so I can only assume you know what you may be getting into.

Posting #1: Evening Shift Cave Watchman/Marksman

Pay: $5000 per non-sighting week. $1000 bonus for successful extermination!

Description: If you’ve ever fancied the quiet life of lakeside cabin living then we have been searching for you! Accommodations in a rustic but well-equipped cabin in the dense woodlands of the Eastern Kentucky mountains are available. Your shift will begin at 5:00 PM EST and end at 5:00 AM EST from Monday to Friday. No holidays and weekends at this time. Your duties are minimal but quite specific. At the beginning of each shift, you will be provided with two rifles and abundant ammunition. Please have experience with firearms and the maintenance thereof as you will need to perform daily checks on your primary and secondary weapon each shift.

You will be posted in a 50-foot high watchtower at the intersection of three cave entrances. More accurately in this situation, they are cave exits. YOU ARE NEVER TO ENTER THE CAVES. You will only observe the entrances for activity. If any entity, Shamblers as we’ve come to call them, exits any of the three caves you are to shoot them on sight. They most often have the appearance of an emaciated and hairless bear that walks with an unsteady, shuffling gate until they feed. After a medium-sized meal, the Shambler will gain greater speed and agility.

Through trial and error, we were able to learn that their primary source of nutrients comes from human bone marrow. This places you in particular danger if they are not eliminated quickly and at a distance. Knowing this you will periodically receive a shipment of fresh cadavers to lure the Shambler to a clearing for a clear view when eliminating them. Hired personnel will be responsible for placing cadavers in the clearing at the start of shift and removal and cold storage of any uneaten cadaver at the end of shift.

It should be noted that only a shot to the head will kill the Shamblers. Removal of the exterminated remains is unnecessary as the creature will burst into flames after elimination. Fire extinguishers are provided in the watchtower for post-termination suppression.

Lastly, you should never at any time attempt to simplify your job by attempting to collapse the caves and trap the Shamblers. This has been attempted twice in the past. While seemingly successful at first the original cave returned the next day without issue with an additional opening located beside it. The process was attempted a second time which resulted in the third opening. This has increased the emergence of Shamblers and increased the workload of Shambler escape termination specialists. Their emergence in recent years has become more frequent and erratic so remain vigilant lest your marrow becomes their next meal.

Posting #2: Live in caretaker of condemned orphanage.

Pay: $3000 weekly. Free room and board included.

Description: New York City draws an exciting assortment of people from all around the world. It also seems to maintain a fierce grip on some of its very own deceased occupants. Trident Orphanage near East Harlem was the sight of a devastating fire in 1937. Seven unfortunate children lost their lives in the blaze yet their noncorporeal forms have remained.

Your job as caretaker of the Trident Orphanage is to see to the needs of the children while keeping them from contacting one another. If they become aware of the fact that they are deceased they will either attempt to possess your body and exit the orphanage or lure nearby pedestrians into the building to do the same. Only five of the original seven children still reside in the building due to the carelessness of two previous caretakers.

The organization that maintains a watch over this facility experimented with the release of one child via the possession of a vagrant in the 1960s. While initially seeming to be a questionable but effective method of releasing these lost souls the short-term study of the possessed vagrant proved this method to be unacceptable. As the vagrant was observed over the following two weeks their body began to deteriorate rapidly in a similar fashion to advanced leprosy. Corresponding with this both the personality of the child and possessed subject struggled for physical and mental control. After 14 days the vagrant expired and released the poor soul back in the world who continually moved from host to host. This child and host were eventually quarantined in a different facility. To this day though a new host must be acquired every 14 days as it has become impossible to confine the soul in celestial form.

Escaped subject two escaped in 1989 and was never tracked or recovered.

As the caretaker, your duties will be to engage the other five orphans with various activities throughout the day in their respective rooms. Games, toys, and books are provided and should be rotated out regularly so as not to become stale or disengaging. The children are under no circumstances to see one another. To date, this is the only way the children discover they are dead is to see another child or their appearance. Their unfortunate final form still maintains the charred flesh and bone of their final living days. Escaped subject one discovered a forgotten mirror which began their frenzy to find a new body resulting in the vagrant possession experiment. Escaped subject two was able to see another child in the hallway which prompted the possession of the current caretaker and eventual escape.

Keep the children engaged and out of the eye-line of one another. As a precaution, the Trident Orphanage now has no reflective surfaces in the facility and the door remains locked from the outside should you become an unwilling vessel for one of your charges. You will be relieved for four weeks out of the year for a vacation and all physical needs will be met during your stay.

*By reading the above position notices you have agreed to accept placement by Mr. Deacon and associates.

Those, dear applicant, are my only two active openings at the moment. I’m afraid that willing participants are sometimes difficult to come by so the terms I work under have become somewhat more unscrupulous over the years. Desperation, after all, can be created. Your knowledge of my work has bound you to a contract of sorts with two potential paths forward.

Path One: Accept this gainful employment from myself and my clients. You need not reply here. All you need to do is write Posting #1 or Posting #2 on a sheet of paper, place it in an envelope with a small drop of your blood on the corner, and place it in your mailbox. One of my couriers will be by this evening to check for your reply. We already know where you are so no need to share your location. You may be chosen as our next lucky applicant. In the event of a failure in one of these postings, we may collect you in the future as a more proper replacement.

Path Two: Do nothing. Ignore this. Leave no envelope. I also know where you are. The unwilling always make excellent bait for the Shamblers or a pristine vessel for our unfortunate child in quarantine.

Either way, dear applicant, I will be seeing you. Some sooner than others.