Everyone has had at least one celebrity crush. A lot of guys like pop singers or the Kardashian sisters. One of my friends has a thing for the girl who plays Catwoman. But my celebrity crush is Hannalynne Kosserlit.

Hannalynne Kosserlit. She’s a model and actress who’s been in a few blockbuster films. You’ve never heard of her? Huh. Well, let me tell you, you’ve been missing out.

Hannalynne Kosserlit is the most gorgeous woman in the world. I mean it. Look her up on Google. She’s beautiful. It’s safe to say that I’m obsessed with her. I have pictures of her all over my walls. She’s my phone’s lock screen. I can quote all her lines in every single movie she’s been in. I watch her Instagram feed like a hawk. She’s my dream girl.

Some people judge me for my Hannalynne obsession. I’ve had people call me “creepy” or “weird”. Even my friends tease me about how I’ll end up getting arrested for stalking her or something. I don’t appreciate those jokes. Hannalynne is a perfect woman who deserves to be treated like a queen. I would never do anything even remotely inappropriate towards her. People who judge me are just haters.

A lot of people found out about Hannalynne after her car accident last month. Suddenly, Hannalynne was all anyone was talking about. Her pretty face was plastered all over the news and tabloids. People posted about how much they loved her and how they were such big fans of hers. Bullshit. I’m Hannalynne’s biggest fan of all time. No one can top my love for Hannalynne.

It made me angry when, slowly but surely, people stopped talking about her. They stopped posting about her. People just forgot about her. It infuriated me. Everyone who said they loved her were all just liars.

You see, I never in a million years would forget about Hannalynne. Ever. I will love her forever. I love her so much that I decided to go get her. You see, she’s been hiding away from the world for a while. She’s been out of sight. But not anymore.

Look at her. I told you she’s beautiful. Sure, she looks a bit different than she used to, but she’s still stunning. After I broke into the graveyard and dug her up, even I was expecting her beauty to have diminished at least somewhat. But nope. Even after being six feet under for the last month, she’s still absolutely gorgeous. Sure, her skin is rotting away and there are maggots crawling in and out of her eye sockets, but still—she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I will love her forever and ever.

I am, after all, her biggest fan.