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[as mentioned on my previous post, this is how my masturbation journey started.]

I was 13 when I first started to masturbate . I was handed an problem of Cosmopolitan magazine that has a long article about female masturbation. I clearly remember I had to hide in my room to read it and though I don’t find out everything I read, I had an idea.

I waited till I was left alone at home. I mean I’ve touched my vulva before but not in a sexual manner. Just when I take a shower and wash it. My mom had at all times taught me the importance of female hygiene. I remember my heart was beating fast, as I ran my fingers over my panties. I remember how good it felt. It’s like a tingly sensation. Then I remember what the magazine said, to get a handheld mirror to familiarize yourself with the female genitalia. I got a mirror, there she was. Pubic hair just barely starting to grow. It’s not the same as the diagram in my biology book. Not the same as what I saw in the magazine. Mine was closed . I can’t even see where my inner lips are. Only now that I know that I have an innie. The vagina looks so closed. Obviously I haven’t put anything in it. I can’t even see my clitoris. I had to spread my outer lips to see it. There she is. With shaking hands. I touched it. It’s ticklish but it feels good. The feeling in indescribable. I was so nervous. But I want to explore more.

I propped the mirror in front of me so I can use both hands to examine this part of me that’s uncharted territory . Spread the outer lips more and run my fingers on the flesh inside them totally avoiding the clitoral hood. I felt myself wanting more. I saw a clear fluid coming out of my vagina and I didn’t know what it is. I flipped through the magazine again and read that most women rub their clitoris with fingers.

Slowly I did it, I felt my back arched, legs tensed. That feeling was very new to me. There I was spread my legs more as I innocently and coyly played with my clitoris. I know I need to do more. I’m
Wanting more and more of it but I don’t know how. I don’t know what else to do.

I flipped through the pages again, finding some answers. Someone mentioned putting a pillow between their legs and squeezing their legs together. I laid down, grabbed the pillow I hug at night, placed it between my legs, squeezed. At first I felt nothing but for some reason it seems my body knows what it wants, I found myself grinding, hitting the spot, it felt really really good. I started to sweat, but it seems I’m trying to reach something which I can’t fathom. I don’t know how that time. All I know is I left a massive wet spot on my pillow that I hug each night , I stopped frustrated and wanting for more. Soon, I told myself . Soon I’ll figure out what I’m trying to reach …

NSFW: yes

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