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I discover it embarrassing to admit but dark fantasies and scenarios turn me on. I was very sheltered by religious parents growing up, but I vividly recall reading ‘Crime and Punishment’, and feeling intense sympathy and fascination with Sonya, the prostitute who was forced by circumstances to prostitute herself to feed her family. Ever since I’ve had a fascination with the concept of women needing to prostitute themselves or agree to have sex for the sake of survival.
There was also a scene in the Coppola film ‘Apocalypse Now: Redux’ where the soldiers in the patrol boat go up a river in Vietnam, and some playboy models for a USO Show are stranded there with their manager at an abandoned base; and the manager pimps them out in exchange for fuel for their helicopter so they can escape the jungle. The women were subsequently fondled and ‘raped’ by the soldiers, being mostly disinterested as the soldiers proceeded to undress and fuck them.
I grew up in a rather sheltered conservative Christian environment and had intense anxiety and shame about sexuality. I discover it ironic that I was raised to view sex as something intimate and romantic, but once I began to rebel in school I grew to enjoy having rough and degrading sex with my partners. We would often times do CNC situations where they would fuck me so that I felt helpless and vulnerable and I acted as if I had to submit and take it, protesting verbally enough to make it feel extra dirty. Since then romantic sex has really fallen on the wayside for me and I need to feel used in bed.
NSFW: yes
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Not that uncommon as a fantasy, there are a lot of women out there that secretly like it rough (sometimes even rougher than they themselves imagined)