Something was horribly wrong with the soup. I don’t understand how this happened but apparently cooking recipes from an old Romanian cookbook I found at the thrift store was a terrible idea. Just ask the seven-foot-tall demon I’d accidentally summoned.

Imagine my surprise when he climbed out of a portal within my soup pot, spilling meatballs and carrot slices all over the floor. I had screamed out in terror as large crimson hands gripped the top of the steel pot, and even more so when a pair of horns with potatoes impaled upon them began to emerge.

“Why have you summoned me?” He bellowed.

In a panic I threw my ladle at the beast.

“Really?…” He wiped the broth from his brow where it had struck him.

I backed away into the corner of my kitchen.

“Why have you summoned Gregory the Great?!” His voice shook the cabinets, vibrating the doors almost off their hinges.

“Gre… Gregory?”

“THE GREAT!”

“My uncles name is Gregory…”

“Then I shall kill him first, his blood will soak my hooves, his ears will adorn my neck and his namesake will be stricken from the book of life.”

“No, no. Let’s not kill my uncle.”

“Then whom shall I destroy? Is this not why you have brought me to this realm?”

“Nah man… I was just trying to make this soup. You see I’m in culinary school… you know what, doesn’t matter. Can you just… climb back into the soup and go back to hell or whatever?”

“Ugh… this happens all the time. What soup is this, hmmm.” He dipped a spoon into the broth and lapped it up with his impossibly long tongue.

“Yes, that’s the one. This damn soup recipe is going to make me shed my horns. One minute I’m Gregory the Great, sitting on my throne and the next I’m in a kitchen. I just can’t deal with this right now.” The demon rubbed his temples in frustration.

“Hey man, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s really not. I’m just under a lot of pressure lately, our evaluations are coming up and this year the Prince of Darkness himself is doing the audits. I’m just stressed and don’t have time for this right now, I really don’t.”

He looked so upset, I actually felt bad.

“Hey now, it’s fine, I don’t need anything you can just go.” I patted his massive arm sympathetically.

“I can’t, I’m here for 24 hours. No way around it.”

“Well, what do you want to do? Let’s just relax today, come on it sounds like you could really use a break.”

“Really?” He wiped the tears forming in his eyes.

“Yeah of course! I’ll order us a pizza from Tony’s, you’ll love it. And we’ll just veg out, binge watch some tv.”

“That would actually be really nice. Thank you.” He smiled, his massive canines glistening in the light.

“There you go buddy, go sit on the sofa. I’ll be right there.”