You’re probably sitting at a table right now. Sitting in a room surrounded by all your closest friends and enjoying some cake.

….

No. Not enjoying. Indulging in cake.

You’re probably sitting there thinking of what a great birthday this is. Not giving a thought in the world that anything can go wrong.

Oh goody! You’re opening your presents now. Perhaps you’ll open the striped purple one first. No? Then maybe the big green one? Not that one either? Well, that’s ok. Then how about the red one. Yes, that one. Such a vibrant color it is.

Hmm

A little soggy, isn’t it. I can barely hold in my excitement, I wonder what it could be!

Oh, oh no. What a shame. The box gave out before you could open it.

What could that sound be? Is it the sound of screams of joy? Noooooo. Just the sound of screams of terror.

Awwwww, now what’s with that long face, isn’t that what you had wanted?

You were always asking for it, were you not?

A new game A pony The newest smart phone

But each year, when your parents can’t seem to deliver, all because they are using their earnings just to provide for you and make sure your every need is met,

You

Wish

Them

Dead.

So go on open the other one. Perhaps dear old pops would be the one greeting you in it this time.

Wishing you a very happy birthday

The birthday Man