Alone on the road, I reclined into my chair waiting for the red light to turn green. I couldn’t help but notice a figure approaching my car. I tried to make it as subtle as possible when I glanced towards him as not to give him the idea that he’d gotten my attention. I really wanted to get home without any complications.

The man’s white shirt clenched to him, soaked to the brim with water. Deep dark circles loomed under his eyes. He stared right at me as he approached closer to the car, until he stood right outside of my window. Please turn green, please turn green. He knocked on my window. I tried to ignore him, but he knocked harder on my window.

I relented and gave him my attention. I noticed an excuse of a smile prop up on his face. He signalled for me to roll down the windows. I feigned ignorance, acting as if I had no clue to what he meant, as he glanced at the light, wondering why it had taken so long.

The door handle rattled. It made me jump. My attention came back to the man. His face had morphed entirely. Rage filled it to the brim. He slowly pushed his face against the window, and started licking it. Warts filled his tongue.

I didn’t care about the light anymore. I pressed down on the gas pedal, eager to get the hell away from this man. Nothing happened. I heard something rumble in the engine, and I saw gas slowly rise up. He also noticed this.

I took out my phone and called the cops. They said they’d come in about twenty minutes. The man continued drooling all over me window, and later licking it up. The cops came and the man dragged himself off.

The next day I was on a date. It went really well, and we got intimate. I even got a tongue kiss, except, I couldn’t help but feel a wart on her tongue.