“ygfdgfdsagfd euytdsakjh.”

Robert is recording Emma, their one-year-old daughter, while she talks and giggles in her sleep. He holds the phone close to the baby monitor and hopes that Tracy’s snores aren’t too loud.

“ygfdgfdsagfd euytdsakjh.”

Emma speaks in a language that only babies from Look Who’s Talking can understand. At least that’s what Robert used to think.

“ygfdgfdsagfd euytdsakjh.”

Satisfied, Robert carefully gets out of bed and tiptoes to the living room. He sits down and starts playing the recording of Emma, but in reverse.

“hjkasdtyue dfgasdfgdfgy”

As Robert listens to the reversed recording, he remembers the first time he did this. Robert had been listening to his daughter’s sleep gibberish recording when the song Stairway to Heaven popped into his mind. He wondered if there’ll be a secret message if her incomprehensible speech had been played in reverse.

Unfortunately, it was, and Robert heard the name of one of his mistresses, Jenny. Her roommate found her dead the following day.

Jenny’s tongue had been cut off, and her eyes had been gouged out. Her breasts looked like a cheese grater had been run over them a hundred times. Although she left a suicide note stating that the guilt of sleeping with a married man had become too much for her to bear, authorities ruled it a homicide because they reasoned that no person would be able to inflict that much pain on themselves.

Two days later, Chelsea’s (another mistress) name was heard on the recording, and her husband found her the following morning. A wisk had been lodged into her throat and vagina, and a steak knife was protruding from each ear. She also left a suicide note claiming that the guilt from sleeping with a married man was too much to take.

“hjkasdtyue dfgasdfgdfgy.”

Robert listens intently, hoping that he doesn’t hear another name.

“h-j-k-a-s-d-t-y-u-e d-f-g-a-s-d-f-g-d-f-g-y”

He plays it again.

“h—k-a—d-t—u-e d—g-a—d-f—d-g—y”

And again.

“h—a—t—e d—a—d—d—y”

As soon as Robert’s brain registers what Emma had said, he loses control of his body.

He walks into the kitchen and gets a notepad and pen. He writes a note confessing to his infidelities and apologizes to Tracy and Emma for being a shitty person.

Robert gets a pair of tongs and a meat tenderizer. He grips the head of his penis with the tongs and brings the tenderizer down on the shaft several times. Robert writhes in pain but is unable to stop himself.

He pulls a knife from the block, places the tip on his taint, and drops to the floor, forcing the blade into his body.

The last thing he hears before he bleeds out is a baby giggling.