Have you ever made a huge mistake thinking it would be the change your life needed? That’s the situation I find myself in currently. Stranded on a sheet of ice, thinkin my life was gonna get a whole lot better. Get a job on a fishing boat, I thought. Make a killing fishing for arctic cod, I thought. Move out of your Mother’s house and see some new horizons, I thought. Funny thing is this horizon is all too familiar, except for the polar bear headed my way.

When I was young I used to get scared of the monsters in horror movies. I remember watching a movie where sandworms were grabbing people walking down the street and sucking them into the ground. I gotta tell you, I feel pretty confident that that’s how the whole “the floor is lava” game got started, cuz after watching that movie I was jumping from couch, to chair, to end table, to chair.

Behind me is the Arctic ocean, in front of me are huge sheets of ice. What are the odds that a nice juicy seal will pop up right in front of that polar bear and he’d let me go? Probably about as slim as the straws I’m grasping at. Out of all the things that I thought would take my life; Cancer, Heart disease, jealous boyfriend. Polar bear was not on the list.

You know what, I heard once that if you name an animal, it makes it harder to kill it. Like if you name a baby pig and then your father keeps it as a pet because you went ahead and named it. I got nothing to lose, so let’s give it a try, in a reverse sort of way.

“HEY YOU DAMN POLAR BEAR”, i shouted as loud as i could, “MY NAME IS MARK CYR. IT’S LIKE SEE AND ER. CYR”

Polar bear kept pressing on towards me. I had no Idea what he would eat first. Would he go for my throat? my torso? my ass? There is lots of meat on the thighs. God i hope he just crushes my skull quickly so i go out painlessly. The Roaring of the bear is getting louder and louder. I can’t stand to watch it anymore. I close my eyes and just wait for death. I scream out my name, one last time before I make peace with the creator.

the absolute bellow of the beast froze me to my core. The fear and the arctic wind did quick work to my extremities. I stood in the silence for what seemed like eternity before I could muster the courage to move my hands and open my eyes. what i saw at that moment will haunt my thoughts forever. What I saw left me so flustered and terrified, I only remembered one thing.

It eats polar bears.