Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE posting here and wanna continue sharing my crummy stories, but some of these mod requests are getting a bit OTT.

Like most writers here, I got a message from the team right after my first story popped off. It said: ‘Hey congrats on the post! Everybody here really digs your style. You’ve got serious potential. Keep it up.’

It was the boilerplate stuff they send all writers. However, I was a bit confused as to why they needed all my personal info. Still, I figured: hey, they’re fostering a close-knit community here on 3S, I can respect that.

So of course they then said we had to meet in person before I could post again, to give them an opportunity to verify my identity, and since all the big writers had already done it, I figured: sure, why not. So two of them turned up on my doorstep without booking a hotel room or even an Air BnB.

Again, a little weird. But the other users had all gone along with this and I REALLY didn’t wanna catch a ban, so I put one of them up in the spare room while the other crashed on my couch.

When I woke up and saw them standing at the far edge of my bed, I damn near shit myself. They must have nipped out to buy the sledgehammer overnight because I sure as hell didn’t own one.

The idea made sense the way they explained it: if I couldn’t pace around or go outside, that meant more time to sit down and write. But they just. Didn’t. Stop. Swinging. I thought one blow per leg—two, tops—but they kept going until my ankles had more wobbles than a bobby pin. And of course, before the painkillers could even kick in, they said, ‘time spent screaming is time NOT spent writing’, so they grabbed hold of my tongue, and then out came the bolt cutters….

They said the experience would make my writing clearer and more suspenseful but even with the medication the pain just makes focusing impossible.

So you’d think that was it, time to start posting, right? Wrong. Now they’re saying I’ve got plenty of healthy organs that aren’t getting put to use and would better serve some of the users here. Like I said, this is a wonderful community and I don’t want anybody to think I’m not a team player, but this just feels…excessive.

Could we maybe reach out to the admins about changing some of the rules?