I'll admit, I may have had one too many before boarding. I get nervous you know, don't fly much. And it's not like I'm hurting anyone!.. yet. Is that a weird thought? Maybe. It is weird.

At least it's a quiet flight. I assumed a daytime flight would have more activity but I suppose everyone is face deep in a screen these days. Everyone except the stewardess. Where is she? Oh it's a he. flight attendant my bad. He's in that little room between first class and the cattle car.

These planes are colder than usual. How can the "flight attendant" sleep on the ground like that when it's so damn cold?

Thank God the pilot! Oh, she has an oxygen bottle. I think I need one too. Where's my mask thingy? The pilot doesn't see me stand up. I'm quiet when I'm drunk. Sneaky sneaky. She's too busy looking out the window when I snatch the oxygen tank from her. She struggles a bit but that extra oxygen clears a bit of the fog long enough for me to hold her off.

She's sleeping now and I'm pretty sleepy too. Time to nap like everyone else before we land.