“OMG, I love this part.”

And that’s when little johnny realized that he fucked up.

“HAHAHAHAHAHA! This shit makes me laugh every time. C’mon, Jane; you don’t find this funny? Where’s your sense of humor.”

“Vincent, you’ve seen this show a million times; it’s not that funny anymore.”

“Whatever.”

It was a typical Saturday night, and Jane and Vincent were watching reruns on cable TV. Well, Vincent was watching TV while Jane browsed social media on her phone.

Jane and Vincent didn’t do much of anything anymore and spent most of their free time ignoring each other in front of the TV. Their marriage had fizzled after ten years.

Little Johnny yells out, “I want to be a gynecologist when I grow up.”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA,” Vincent bursts out in laughter again, spitting out beer.

“Really, is that necessary,” Jane exclaims, annoyed at Vincent’s child-like display.

They didn’t communicate their feelings to each other and let them fester.

“Lighten up, Jane; it’s funny.”

\ding**

A Facebook notification pops up on Jane’s phone, and she reads it.

Fuck, I hate this fat bitch. She’s so fucking boring. Never laughs at anything.

It was from Vincent, and Jane was pissed.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Did you really post this to my wall?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Vincent responds, and Jane practically shoves her phone into his face.

“This, you piece of shit.”

“That wasn’t me. My phone is over there.”

“Well, maybe you scheduled the post. It’s from your account.”

“I’m telling you, that wasn’t me.” As Vincent tries to defend himself, he hears his phone \ding**. He checks it and sees that Jane posted something on his wall.

I’m so sick and tired of Vincent’s tiny dick. It’s bad enough that it’s small, but he can’t get it up for me half the time. My vibrator does a better job than his tiny cock.

Furious, Vincent yells at Jane. “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, JANE? YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT MY PENIS SIZE. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU WRITE THAT, YOU SPITEFUL BITCH.”

“I didn’t write anything because I’m not like you.”

“Liar. You know what, maybe I could get my dick up if you weren’t so fat.”

“Well, maybe if you treated me properly, I wouldn’t stress eat so much.”

The cat was out of the bag, and all the feelings they held inside were coming out like a tsunami.

“I HATE YOU!” yelled Jane.

“GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

“Maybe I will since you can’t get it up.”

Jane stormed off into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Vincent stayed in the living room and drank until he passed out.

He felt something touching his dick while he slept, but he was too drunk to move.

He got the sudden urge to piss and stumbled to the bathroom.

He pointed his dick toward the toilet, but something felt off.

He opened his eyes wide and screamed when he realized he was holding a vibrator instead.