Gracious and loving God
Holy Father of our Lord and Savior
The Creator of all things
The Alpha and the Omega

I have spent a lifetime in Your service
Spreading Your word
Shepherding Your lost sheep so that they may graze upon Your Holy pastures in the hereafter

Heavenly Father
Your loyal servant kneels before you
All sins laid bare

While I am, and always will be, Your loyal and humble servant
I am but a man
A man that, despite all his attempts not to, have sinned
Many, many times

Oh, gracious and glorious and loving God
Forgive me of my sins
My sins that I have laid bare before you
So that I may graze upon Your Holy pastures when it is my time

In Your name I pray
AMEN

Father Michaels.

Do my ears deceive me?

They do not.

I am truly blessed to have You answer my prayers.

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. While I am grateful to you for being a good shepherd and leading so many of My flock to My house, you have strayed far from the righteous path. Very far.

I know, and I ask that you forgive me for my transgressions.

That, I cannot do.

I don’t understand. You can’t absolve me of my sins.

I cannot forgive you Father Michaels.

B-But what about Psalm 32:5? I am acknowledging my sins to You. According to Your book, You need to forgive me of my sins.

I don’t have to do anything. As I stated, you have strayed too far from the Holy path. Must I remind you of your proclivities?

No Father, You do not. I am well aware of my sins. So, that’s it. I dedicate my life to You and because of a few mistakes You’re going to leave me high and dry. You know what, FUCK YOU!

YOU INSOLENT FOOL. YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME WITH SUCH VULGARITY. THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. I’M GOING TO LET MY SON DEAL WITH YOU.

God? God? I’m sorry. Please forgive me.

…

Father Michaels, you must have really pissed my dad off for him to get me involved.

Jesus, is that you?

Wrong son.

No! No! I do not deserve such a fate. I am a good man. A loyal shepherd. I do not deserve this!

According to our records, you do. Your accommodations will be ready in a moment. This may burn a bit.

What? No! Please, God no. It’s so hot. NO! God! Please, give me one more chance. It burns. It burns so bad. AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH.