Growing up, I was closer to my mom than my dad. She always had time to play games and talk about my day, but he was always working, and when he was at home, he was pretty quiet. I told my mom once that I didn’t think he loved me, but she clucked her tongue and said, “That’s just his way, but don’t you worry, there’s a good man inside him.”

When I got older, I realized she was right. My dad wasn’t demonstrative with his love, he kept to himself and never really talked much, but he did love us so much. When my sisters moved out on their own, far from our childhood home, he checked the weather in their new towns every morning. My mom is all sweetness and light, she’s the life of the party, and my dad is shy and a little gruff, but she said she knew from the moment she saw him that there was a good man inside.

I didn’t know what she meant until I met Jason. He wasn’t my type, too loud and showy, but the first time I saw him, I knew in my heart that there was a good man inside him. I made the first move on him that night and we’ve been together ever since.

He did cheat on me just before our wedding, and my friends told me to break it off, but I forgave him. He’s been cheating on and off for our whole marriage, which would make me think he doesn’t love me, but I used to think that about my dad, and goodness knows I was wrong about him. There’s a good man inside Jason, I just know it. Just, maybe it’s buried deeper than I thought. But some men are just a little different about how they show their love.

Tonight, Jason came home at 2 AM, stinking drunk and smelling like someone else’s perfume. It’s not the first time that’s happened, but it is the first time he’s given me a black eye before passing out in our bed.

I didn’t get upset, though. I know Jason has a good man inside. I just went to the kitchen to get some frozen peas for my eye and to get the biggest, sharpest knife from the knife block.

There’s a good man inside my Jason. I just need to find him.