It was showtime. I raced to the couch and settled in my favorite spot, waiting for Mommie and Bobbie. Bobbie was behind me and didn’t take long to plonk himself right next to me.

“Mom! Mom! Hurry!” he bellowed. Mommie of course took her sweet time, faffing around with her tea, clattering in the kitchen, ugh come on woman, we’re waiting here. Eventually, she too settles on the couch, we switch the TV on, time to catch Better Call Saul, our favorite show these days.

I had heard Mommie say on her phone she didn’t like Better Call Saul and only watched it to “bond with Bobbie” and it made me twitch my tail in rage.

Mommie kept fussing around on the couch, not paying attention. She is going to miss key plot points, and then keep asking stupid questions in this kind of running commentary.

“Oh- oh my goodness, why is Mike there- I didn’t get it, oh I can’t with this judge- no no no Nacho, listen to your father- oh the poor boy- Oh My God- what did he do! No!” she gives a little scream of horror as blood splatters the screen. Bobbie gasps.

My tail twitches again, and I resettle my paws. Mommie pats my head in the wrong spot. Her hand is shaking slightly. I hiss quietly. Then she gets up. The sound of screaming and men yelling comes from the screen. She goes into the kitchen. Bobbie yells at her.

“Just put it on pause, Bobbie!” she calls back. Bobbie pauses the show. I look back up at him. He strokes my back and we both feel calmer. I want to know what happens next. Mommie bustles back onto the couch. Her weight makes the couch sag and I have to re-shift my body to feel comfortable.

“Ok, you can start”. And then a second later she's at it again.

“Can Kim have her hair in any other style other than this stupid loopy ponytail?” “How many shots of men’s shoes and feet do I have to watch again? I thought this was a show about drug lords, not men’s fashion?”

I want to kill Mommie, just like the men on the screen. I want to tear out her throat with my sharp teeth, leave torn veins and gore dangling from a wide tear in her neck, bury her in the backyard, and watch Better Call Saul in peace and quiet, just me and Bobbie. I look back at her and look at Bobbie, and he looks at me, and we are planning the same thing.