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It’s hard to explain the vast array of feelings that overcome me when my wife goes on a date. When she is gone, they range from being slightly comfortable with the situation to utter despair.

When she is home, it’s a euphoric rush of love, ecstacy, and a strong sense of subconscious, unyielding connection. It doesn’t go away until she leaves again, and returns the second she walks in the door. Repeat cycle.

When the mood and my schedule suits, I like to watch her get ready for a date. I like to lay in bed and talk to her while she preps herself. Brushing her hair, putting on a sexy bra, cleaning her mouth…just so she can get it dirty. Sometimes I’ll stand at the threshold of the shower and watch her bathe. Watching her shave her lady parts so some other guy can take benefit of her freshly shaved pussy is a weird feeling in and of itself. I get jealous seeing her spend so much time on her body, knowing that she’s about to give it to someone else. She claims she does the same for me, but I don’t believe her.

When it’s time for her to leave, we usually hug for like a minute straight. I like to say things to her like “have fun, but not too much.” Or “be funny, be sexy, be yourself!”  We feel the love for each other. Then she jumps in the car and off she goes. That’s when my spiral into hell begins.

Usually within an hour or her leaving, our child comes home from college. She’s too young to figure out. The first thing out of her mouth is usually “where’s mom?” Depending on how I feel, I may say, “she’s out for a while and she won’t be home til after you go to bed.” If she asks what she’s doing, I may cover for her. Sometimes I say, “she’s with a friend for dinner, not sure who.” If she asks a lot of questions, I may throw her under the bus. “She’s with her friend Steve,” I’d say. The cats out of the bag, I’d think. But my kid is too young. She’d never know the difference. I’m gonna have to knock that shit off soon.

I try to keep busy with my kid, and sometimes it works. But eventually, I begin to think about how she’s probably getting off right now. How he’s taking benefit of that freshly shaved pussy. How she’s probably blowing him, and if she’s doing it the way she does it to me, he’s probably falling in love with her.

After I get my kid to bed, I go downstairs, and lift weights, or sit in the sauna. I may try to text with one of my girlfriends. They can help with my misery. Sometimes they say nice things to me to give me a pick me up. Alone time when she’s out is the worst. She cannot come home soon enough. The later she’s out, the worse it gets. If she’s doing an overnight, forget about it. I might crawl into bed, lay on her side in a fetal position and damn near cry. But one things for sure…I ain’t sleeping. That will have to happen tomorrow after she gets home.

I’m lucky if she comes home at 10 or 11. She’s been gone since 3. Jesus, how much time do they need together? One guy she’s real tight with loves to fuck her as many times as he can while he’s got her. 3x in a night! I think about how they are probably spooning on his couch naked, watching TV and he’s rubbing her, warming her up for his 3rd go at it.

Don’t get me wrong. The loneliness and jealousy is temporary.  When she gets home it’s like she never left…

I love to hear about her night. All those details that pushed my mind into chaos, are the same details that result in some of the best sex of my life. All those details that made me wonder if I’m man enough for her…made me question my wife’s love for me…make me think I’m a bad lover, father, and husband…are the same details that push me into a state uncermountable love, sexual bliss and undying connection with my wife.

Going down on her and tasting his cum. Smelling his cologne…smelling the sex radiating off of her is intoxicating. Kissing her lips, taking her tongue in my mouth, knowing it was wrapped around his cock…words cannot describe what it does to me.

I love it when she straddles me, and jerks me to orgasm while telling me step by step how her lover for that night fucked her. Kissing me gently, making eye contact with me while talking about how he made her cum. Sometimes I like to fuck her. I like the feeling of his cum in her, making her pussy wet in a different way than I’m used to. I like to cum inside her, knowing mine is mixing with his…knowing she’s gonna sleep with two or more loads in her from multiple guys.

All this makes her feel sexy, loved, and wanted. And she’s right. I take the bad with the good. I know my wife loves me. I love her too. I also love her boyfriends in a way. I’ve made an unspoken bond with them.

NSFW: yes

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