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I was raised Catholic, and I took that shit very seriously. I was constantly burdened by my sins and the ever-present reality that I could go to hell. Of course, there was the fact God, all the saints, my guardian angel, and all my dead relatives could all look down on me at every moment that really upped the fear and shame factor. I was what you would call a “good girl.” I didn’t date in high college; mainly because I wondered all the guys in my tiny, red-neck high college were disgusting, but also because I was gonna wait until marriage to have sex. I was very serious about this. I even had a “True Love Waits” sticker on the back of my car. I really wondered my virginity was something sacred–something that should be cherished and presented to my husband. So by god, that’s what I intended to do.

Now, I did masturbate. A lot. But I all the time felt crushing guilt after. I guess it’s sort of similar to how guys get that depressed feeling after they cum, but mine was more feeling like I took a whore’s bath in the blood of Jesus and would spend all eternity suffering Satan’s cock in my asshole. It’s so hard to see the inevitable guilt through the lusty haze of horniness though, so the cycle continued until I became even more strict.

By the time I was in school, I became Pentecostal. Those are the shaking, falling on the ground, speaking in tongues, crazy Christians you see in mega-churches on tv. I became one of those. The parameters of my chastity became far more controled. I somehow managed to not masturbate for a solid year. I remember the day I broke. I woke up from a nap in my dorm, Raging horny. In blind lust, I walked to the community bathroom, locked myself in a stall and finger fucked myself until I came a year’s worth of orgasms in a single go.

But, school being the land of exploration that it is, my religious ideals began to slowly fall away. I was introduced to new people, new things. And suddenly my raging sexuality became slightly more acceptable. Not acceptable enough to fuck anyone, but enough that I didn’t feel like I personally crucified Christ every time I rubbed one out. Then I got drunk for the first time. I was 20. Yeah, I know. Late bloomer in all respects. I was hanging with my friends Lance and Becky. I had known Lance literally all my life. Becky and I had been friends for a few years now. They had drunk before, but I never partook. But tonight, I was feeling rebellious. We drank vodka on the deck on a warm August night. At one point I remember rapping “Baby Got Back” in its entirety. The night is incredibly hazy, but the talk invariable came to sex; blowjobs specifically. Becky and Lance were flirting hard. Becky was giggling and Lance was all leaning back in his chair like he didn’t have an agenda. I simply watched. I have no idea how it happened, but before I knew it, Becky was on her knees opening Lance’s pants. I had never seen a cock in real life; plenty online– I was basically a porn connoisseur at this point. Then Becky started to jerk his dick before taking it in her mouth. My pussy was flooded. I was terrified but also filled with electricity. Lance saw me staring and asked if I wanted to try. I was just drunk enough to say yes. I wish I could remember what it was like, but I don’t. What I do remember was Lance saying, “watch your teeth.” In my defense, it was my first time and I had not seen the training video. I would like to think Lance would be really proud with how far my skills have come.

At some point, we all moved into my bedroom and onto the bed. Becky was in the middle, and she and Lance were making out. I was just watching. It was like live porn. Again, I was absolutely terrified. I had actively worked against this sinful behavior my entire life, and now here I was laying in bed with two people with cock fresh on my breath. Suddenly, I hear Becky moan and realize Lance has put his hand down her pants and is rubbing her clit. She pulls his dick out and begins to jerk him off. I lean in closer to watch it all. They successfully got each other off. As far as me, watching was all the action I got that night,

The next night Becky and I were hanging in my room watching a movie and shooting the shit. Naturally, the topic of the night before came back. She started to ask me questions about how I felt about everything, I was so embarrassed even talking about it. Now, Becky and I had kissed before in games of Truth or Dare and the like. But suddenly, we were kissing for real. I was still very scared, but far more comfortable with her. She was just a girl, it wasn’t as big of a deal. Everything she did to me was brand new. She started to massage my tits. I could feel my nipples getting hard under her fingers. Then she began to touch me between my legs. The pressure felt amazing, I don’t think I had my wits about me to even touch her back. She was aggressive, and before long she was taking off my pants. I was petrified. No one had ever seen me naked. She placed her hand on me and within moments her finger was spreading my lips aside. I felt so vulnerable. I had a difficult time enjoying it. I was so in my head. Then she started to kiss down my body. I think I just held my breath from there on out.

The first sweep of her tongue was so foreign. It was like when I ate something mango and chili flavored for the first time; initially I was confused, maybe even horrified by the flavor. But then something clicked. All of a sudden that wet eel between my legs became a silky ribbon of desire. I didn’t cum. I was still too in my head. But, I tasted the forbidden fruit, and I was about to show Eve up big time.

The rendezvous between Becky and me become more frequent until I was going down on her. I remember the taste distinctly. Sweet and something almost sparkling. I also noted how eating pussy would coat your mouth in what I could only assume was lady cum, and that it would last for hours.

We decided to date. We only lasted a month, but we did a lot of fucking in that month. When Becky was cumming, she would roll her hips against my face. When I was ready to cum, Becky would finger fuck me harder. But, as much as I love Becky as a friend, I got nored of fucking her and I wanted out, so we broke up

I spent the rest of my 20th year fucking bitches. I ran through my entire female friend group (I’m still friends with all of them, Becky included, 20+ years later). I fucked rando bitches at parties. I fisted a lesbian for fun. Eventually, I didn’t feel exactly “virginly” anymore. I mean, that was sort of the point of fucking girls in the first place, to preserve my innocence. Once I really pieced that together, it did’t make much sense to keep my pussy locked up like Fort Knox.

By this time I’m 21. I’m open to fucking, I just don’t really know how to go about all that. Like, should I date someone first? That seems appropriate, right? Well, waiting until I discover that person is all fine and good until I get drunk. Which I did a lot because I was 21. One evening I was hanging with Lance, and we were getting trashed. Alcohol all the time made me horny. And made me very open about. So, with my horny bravery, I simply ask Lance to fuck me. Just fuck me and let me get it over with. It makes sense right? We know each other, he won’t be random. This is like a dude friend’s dream! So what does Lance say? No. He says fucking no. He says he can’t be the one to do it, it’s too weird. I begged. I pleaded. I used every rhetorical technique my drunk brain could concoct but he was steadfast. Then I remembered the loophole. So I ask him if he will fuck me in the ass. Now, I had done my own solo ass exploration, so I wasn’t totally unfamiliar. I also remembered from having his dick in my mouth, Lance did not have a big swinging dick, so I was sure I could handle it. Plus I was wasted, and through alcohol all things are feasible. And God bless America he agreed. There was no kissing or romance. I lay on my side. He slipped on a condom, squirted on lube and it slipped right in. It didn’t take him long to cum.

I’m now 22 and just pissed off. I need to fuck. Fuck this shit, I’ll fuck a random, I don’t even care. My friend Daisy is having a big party at her house. Her younger sister is inviting her friend, too. Gonna be a rager. There is a group of us sitting in the kitchen playing “I Never.” The question is, “Never have I ever had sex.” I’m the only one that doesn’t drink. It’s here my drunk ass explains how I’ve fucked plenty of girls, I just haven’t gotten a dick yet… well in my pussy.

By some far-reaching hour into the night, I am on my back in bed and Daisy is eating me out. It’s just not getting me what I want. After that we go outside and hop in the hot tub with a few stragglers. One by one they all climb out and leave to go pass out somewhere. Three of us remain: Me, Daisy, and an 18-year-old named Jack. I know nothing about him other than he is Daisy’s sister’s friend. We are all just drunkenly drifting in hot tub silence. I let my hand drift under the water toward Jack and put it on his knee. He doesn’t move. I move my hand up a little more up his leg. I suddenly feel his hand on mine, holding it, pulling it in closer. Finally, Daisy calls it a night and Jack and I are alone. My hand is immediately pulling his cock out of his shorts. Without thinking I straddle him, position his cock and sit. I know they say water sex isn’t good, but I did not have a issue. I rode him, using the buoyancy of the hot tub to really come up and slam down. He pushed me up and climbed out of the tub pulling me behind him. We walked inside and I lay on the couch opening my legs as wide as I could. He shoved his cock in deep, putting his hand on either side of my thighs, pushing me open wider. He pounded me like a jackrabbit. I don’t think either of us even considered that anyone could have woken up and caught us. Just like with Lance, it didn’t take him long to cum inside me.

So, that’s how I was raised a pure and virtuous girl who was gonna save herself for marriage. This is how I lost my virginity at 20,21, or 22, depending on what you consider the definition of virginity. Either way, I made sure to make up for lost time. I was able to shake the sexual feminine shame yoke placed upon me as a child. I and roughly 70 other people are very thankful that happened.

NSFW: yes

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