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I was nervous, of course, but after fantasizing about the idea for nearly a year I had to give in. An accidental click while reading literotica led me to watching cam girls and fantasizing that one day I could be one too. I touched myself whenever they received a tip and bought a lush so i too could pretend hundreds were getting off on paying me to perform.

It was one month before Sam was getting married that I got up the guts to indulge. We’d been friends since school, had made out one drunken night in our twenties and he often alluded to the fact that he wanted more. It wasn’t that I wasn’t attracted to him, I just knew we’d never work as a couple and wasn’t interested in giving men myself sexually when I knew they wouldn’t hold up emotionally. But I knew our relationship would change once he had a ring on his finger, even if his wife to be was nonmonogomous. And I hadn’t yet wondered of a wedding present.

We were at our favorite dive bar when I brought up the topic of fantasies and whether Sam had any he wanted to pursue before his big day. “A threesome” he said typically, knowing I knew this answer already. “And you Ms. Molly”? He asked. “If you were getting married in one month what kinks would you want to get out of your system?”

I acted as if him asking me this question hadn’t been my plan all along. Actually, I said, pretending to be somewhat embarrassed about the idea, lately I’ve started to get turned on by the idea of getting paid.”

We spoke of it intellectually at first. How an energetic difference in what I gave vs. what I was receiving in my Herero relationships felt unbalanced. How the idea of fucking with (pun intended) capitalism and claiming such radical ownership of my body made me excited. How I was naturally inclined to please and provide pleasure. How I could use the extra cash since company had slowed during the pandemic. It was all theoretical until I knew I had him fantasizing about it too. Then I dropped my voice low and leaned across the bar, and said

“Plus, the idea of someone wanting me that much gets me really….

Really….

Wet.”

I smiled coyly at Sam, biting my lip, knowing exactly what I was doing.

He leaned in too.

“Well I have another fantasy before the big day”

“Oh?” I asked, pretending to be unaware of what his three next words would be:

“I want you.”

He had to have known what I’d say next:

“How much?”

We couldn’t have made it back to his place any faster. I wanted crisp new $100 bills and thank goodness he had some from his poker games stored away. He counted them out while I peeled off each layer. $100 for the top. $100 for the bra. $100 for my stockings Rolled down extra slow. By the time his pile was shortened I was standing buck naked in front of him and he had gained a new level of cockiness and I was dripping wet.

“Let’s see what else you can do” he said, holding out the remaining bills. I knelt down in front of him and maintained eye contact while undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants.

“Good. Girl. “ he told me. And I lost it. I gave him the head of his life that night and it was the first time I swear to god I almost came from giving a blow “job” (yes, pun intended as well.) we fucked for hours that night and cleaned out Sam’s poker fund for the month.

Even though I see other people for sex now Sam and I just kept it to the one time. The friendship is crucial to us and there are just too many variables at play to keep that dynamic going, even though he asks me every now and again if I’d reconsider.

But damn was it good to have a friend to first indulge with, to try this fantasy, to explore this kink. To take the first step in what would become a whole new world.

NSFW: yes

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