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People say marriages can fix a lot of things, but I don’t think they truly want to admit that it has a lot of challenges as well. Challenges you are scared to accept, challenges that can make or break you, challenges that may end badly, there isn’t really an ending to it.

When I married Dhruv almost three years ago, I wondered nothing would change. Perhaps our happy and lovesick relationship will only get better, but I should have known better. A live in relationship was bound to change with marriage added to the mix.

We have drifted aside in the last few months, our work has kept both of us busy to the point we don’t even get to have dinner together. The invisible wall between us keeps growing thicker, and maybe stronger.

Having a hectic day at work, I wondered I would receive some peace of mind on arriving home. How wrong was I.

The moment I stepped foot in our home, I saw his disarrayed shoes beside the shoe rack, inverted socks strewn across the sofa and a partly loosened tie on the tea table. This was probably the last straw.

I slammed open the door to his room, he was laying on the bed in just his sweatpants and watching some series on his phone. He gave me a quizzical look and went back to his phone. “What the hell is wrong with you? How hard is it to keep the place clean and tidy?”, I shouted in anguish.

He yawned. Motherfucker has the audacity to yawn at my words. “Hmm? Pretty hard”, he said and went back to his phone.

I walked towards him and snatched his phone which made him get up from the bed and glare at me. He scrunched his jose to push up his glasses and then very calmly said, “Give me my phone back Aarvi, I was relaxing”.

“You can relax all you want! I don’t have an issue with it, but it is really a simple task to keep things in their designated places”, I tell him in a tired whisper.

“See! This is your issue! You think everything is easy peasy lemon squeezy! You think it’s that easy to ‘keep things in their designated places’ after a hard day at work. Just because you can do it easily, doesn’t mean it comes easy to others!”, he told me, stressing each and every word.

“If you do have a problem, don’t you think you should communicate about it? Why would I not understand you?”, I say gauging his reaction.

“Cause you’re not the same person I fell in love with! You have changed! You don’t care about your husband, you care about the environment you live in!”

“A clean environment helps the mind to stay clear Dhruv. Our mind reflects what we see and what we live in”, I tried to reason with him.

“Honestly things were so much better before we got married, sometimes I miss that life! And we haven’t even had dinner together in months, it feels like we are drifting further and further away from each other!”, he exclaimed.

Feeling that we were growing aside was one thing, for him to vocalize that we were was  another thing. My eyes glazed over with unshed tears, I felt my lips trembling and my legs going numb.

Dhruv was about to say something, possibly even shout at me but before he could, he glanced at me and his eyes widened. “Shit.”
In one long stride he was in front of me. He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me furiously.

I tried to hit his chest a couple of times but ended up pulling him closer after a few hits. I kissed him back with equal fervour as I felt tears slip down my cheeks.

“Shit shit shit shit… don’t cry princess, please don’t cry. I cannot bear witnessing your tears, love”, he murmured against my lips. This made me cry harder. All the pent up frustration, agony, workload and doubt of our relationship bursting out in tears.

He kissed me again, this time softly on the lips, tentatively, pouring all the love I can possibly feel into it. I tried to kiss him back with equal emotions, yes we may be drifting aside but there’s only one person I want and that’s him.

“Aarvi, I am sorry, I know how much you hate uncertainty. I am sorry for not communicating well with you, I promise we’ll be okay”, he kissed my forehead.

“You won’t leave me right?”

“Never. In fact I’d follow you to the afterlife.”

I kissed him with a burning intensity, and he gladly returned it. All our frustrations melted away as we melted into each other. He removed his glasses and hurled them on the table and buckled my knee so that I fell on the bed.

He climbed on me and kissed my forehead, my cheeks, my nose and then my neck. I teared up again, I don’t even know why. “May I please?”, he whispered to me. I nod, biting my lips from trembling.

He grabbed the bottom of my top and pulled it over my head. A kiss to my forehead again, I smiled. I cupped his face and showered it with tiny pecks, he smiled. He removed my bra, followed by my skirt. I removed his sweatpants.

He kissed me, it was probably the sweetest kiss I have shared with him. His mouth descended from my lips to my collarbone. Small, lingering kisses. He gently sucked on my nipples.

Pleasurable sighs left my mouth, as I massaged his head while he licked my nipples. I whispered his name in ecstasy. I pulled down his boxer, impatient to feel connected to him, spiritually, emotionally and well, physically.

He got my cue and peeled away my underwear that stuck to me for a moment. “So sensitive to my touches princess, so sensitive”, he murmured against my ear. I bit his ear, “Please”.

“Please what, princess? Words, I want your active participation in this”, he kissed my jaw. “I want you Dhruv, I need you, please”

“In what way, specify princess”, he taunted me a little. I teared up ,”please make love to me Dhruv, please”. “Good job”, was his reply as he slid his fingers into me to make sure I was wet enough.

“Hmm, seems like you’re very ready for me, my love”, he said, giving me a forehead kiss while removing his finger to suck on them and then he abruptly thrusted himself into me. I bit my moan on his neck. I could hear a few sweet nothings whispered as he kept thrusting into me.

When we made eye contact, all I felt was raw intimacy. I couldn’t hold it in any longer, I sobbed loudly, “I love you Dhruv, I love you so so much! If i haven’t expressed m-myself i-in the past few months… i am truly sorry. You are the best thing that has every happened to me Dhruv”.

He thrusted furiously a few times before I felt a delicate kiss on my lips, then his forehead on mine ,”I love you too Aarvi, so so much it’s hard to convey in words, not that I tried showing you through my actions. But I promise to communicate with you better, cause you are the love of my life, the only person I look for in a crowd”.

He grinded into me slowly, I could feel our Heartbeats syncing. “Keep your eyes on me princess, I want to see you cum”, unable to form any words I nodded my head and then his thrusts became sharper, faster and stronger.

And then with the intensity of his gaze, my legs shook uncontrollably and he groaned into the crook of my neck as his semen filled me up. I felt both of us coming down from our high. I kissed his forehead, nose and then lips.

“I love you Aarvi”
“I love you too, Dhruv”

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