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It wasn’t long before *Sam* got dressed and left with watery eyes her last *quip* at me was ‘*You’re a piece of work Kevin!*’ and slammed the door leaving me.
I watched trying to be as emotionless as efficient though her being *near* me made my heart flutter and the pang of old emotions wanted to come out as I kept telling myself ‘*You’re better now. You’re better **without** her.*’
I looked around after she left and suddenly my house felt *empty* and *hallow* and smiled as it was back to the way it **should** be.
Though my *happiness* didn’t last long before I found myself pulling out my cell phone and hitting one of the saved numbers in my directory as I waited for the other end to pick up….which didn’t last long.
The other end picked up and a male voice semi slurred, “Yeah.”
I smiled as I spoke, “I need to come to *church*.”
The only answer I got from the other end was, “I’ll have a glass waiting for you,” before the line went dead.
I smiled at the phone thanking my lucky stars as I proceeded to get dressed and headed out to attend *church*.
After a ‘pit stop’ I pulled up to a modest home…..a modest home with a separate MASSIVE garage that looked like a fire house….with an underground tunnel to interconnect the two basements.
I smiled at the building and walked up to the door before buzzing the device at the front door.
I waited for a moment before I heard over an electric speaker, “Come on down,” before I heard an electric click on the door.
I rolled my eyes as I walked in and made my way down to the ‘First’ Basement…..before it was extended.
I walked into your ordinary ‘Man Cave’ setup where there was nice furniture surrounding a BIG screen TV. A working bar adjacent to the entertainment portion of the cave. And against the wall before you enter the door that starts taking you towards the basement under the garage was a mini distillery that looked like the owner was making another one of his *special* concoctions.
And at the poker table sat the man I was looking for watching the TV while he was already sipping on some alcohol.
He took one look at me and smirked though his LONG thick beard hid most of his facial expressions before he semi slurred, “Ho’s it goin’ Ke’in?”
I smiled at the man who didn’t bother to get up, “Not bad Josh. I brought something for ‘*Church*’?”
Josn Warner was a close friend since childhood and knew about my past.
He owned the big ass house he was in AND the MASSIVE Garage next door that only housed ONE car.
He also owned two of the seven microbreweries in town that was a restaurant that served special concoctions that this man creates on the regular.
He’s a savant when it comes to brewing special beers and wines on the regular along with his seasonal mixes.
He’s also a lush…..a high functioning lush but a lush the same.
Josh raised his eyebrow at me as I pulled the bottle out of the bag as he instantly whistled, “Ah sp’ung fo’ the good shit I see.”
The bottle I handed him was a bottle of [Highland’s 25 Year Special Reserve](
I smiled as I spoke, “Well I *tried* finding a bottle of ‘*Warner’s Special Reserve*’ but you don’t make that yet.”
He chuckled as he smiled up at me with a twinkle in his eyes, “In a f’w years you might my friend.”
He looked down to inspect the bottle to make sure there wasn’t any flaws with the bottle, “So wh’t’s the special occasion?”
I felt my face turn serious as I spoke flatly, “Sam’s back in town.”
Josh instantly looked up at me, “Sam….as in Samantha Reid? Your **ex** Samantha Reid? That Sam?”
I nodded.
Josh sighed out, “Well shit!”
He padded the table next to him, “Sit! I’ll get the glasses and we can talk.”
He got up and walked off to the bar as he retrieved a enormous tub and two glasses before returning to the table and sitting. He reached into the tub and with his hand pulled ice out and into his glass and set it in front of him as he set my glass in front of me.
Josh waited for me to do the same by putting ice into my glass before he popped the bottle and took a deep inhale before exclaiming, “Smells nice.”
He poured into his glass as he spoke, “Let’s see if it’s worth it’s weight, shall we?”
After pouring his glass the standard two fingers of liquid he proceeded to pour into my glass…..four fingers. Then he set the bottle down and held up his glass to me, “*SALUTE!*”
I held up my glass and repeated his mantra, “*SALUTE!*”
Then I downed the liquid as I noticed Josh lightly sipped at his portion as he let out a small appreciative moan.
I slammed the glass down as I gasped and lightly wheezed as the liquid burned down my throat and I tasted the vapors of the remains.
I looked at him sourly, “What the hell dude? Thought we were gonna pound that?”
He quirked his eye at me, “I’m not here to get drunk.” He wondered of his answer before amending it, “Well not *drunker*. I’m here to listen.”
He picked up the bottle and poured another four fingers of liquid into my glass before speaking, “Now sip and talk.”
I sighed as I nodded.
Josh took a sip before speaking, “So Sam’s back?”
I nodded, “Yeah.”
He looked at me, “Where?”
I sighed as I sipped on the liquid before answering, “She **was** at my house.”
That made Josh raise his eyebrow even more but didn’t say anything as I continued, “But she’s not there anymore.”
He grunted, “Oh?”
I nodded, “Yeah she left this morning after she *tried* to apologize for leaving me.”
He spoke, “Oh!”
I sipped as Josh spoke, “So how are you taking it?”
I looked at him, “You mean ‘*Am I going to spiral back?*'”
Josh took a sip and nodded.
He was referring to when Sam **first** left me and I was completely devastated as Sam was my first girl that I had ever been with and was deeply in love with her thinking she was my forever girl.
When she left, not only was I devastated, I was a train wreck waiting to happen.
When she **first** left I wondered she left because it was me. Took some time and a confirmation from Sam that she **needed** to pursue this opportunity and tried to convince me to follow her either AFTER I finished college OR Whenever I felt like it.
At first we *tried* to work it out when she left as we spoke everyday though I was pissed she left so suddenly but loved her so much that I tried to hide how hurt I was that she would leave without even consulting me about HER decision.
**TRIED** being an apt word.
I decided I **needed** to finish college first if I was gonna make anything of myself. Looking back, that was probably both my BEST decision and my WORST decision. But I made my choice and stuck with it and did an overload my last year just to knock out my schooling faster.
Which I **barely** did by the way.
The first year was tough as I barely saw her with me doing my overload before graduating. A graduation she missed because of a gig.
Looking back I think that was the first nail in the coffin that was our relationship as that hurt even more than her leaving me as she **promised** me she would be there *because* I **told** her this started OUR relationship OUTSIDE of college and school as it was now OUR lives.
When I saw the empty chair that was supposed to be HER seat next to MY parents when **I** graduated hurt the most as I looked at the empty seats that WAS supposed to be where HER parents sat as WE would be walking across the podium receiving OUR degrees as we STARTED a new chapter in OUR lives….Together.
I tried to let **that** hurt go as the next came and WE or more like **I** traveled to go see her as she *tried* to pursue this new *opportunity* while I *tried* to discover my own career.
Each *visit* taking longer and longer to set up as it seemed **I** was the only one traveling to HER while SHE **never** travelled back to visit **ME** and I began to see the one sided way OUR relationship was going down.
She kept begging me to move over to the east coast and live with her just so we could be happy BUT by that time I had JUST started working for a new business AND they were paying me a fuck ton more than starting. And by fuck ton I mean **FUCK TON** as the national average minimum wage WAS $21 an hour and this business’s STARTING salary was only $24/hr. With my degree and thanks to a couple of professors that I somehow impressed that had pull with this business with my degree and their referral the business started me at $46/hr.
So yeah I would be STUPID to turn THAT down just to move over to the east coast and *maybe* make $21/hr.
Plus Sam was already living with six other girls in a two bedroom flat as their rent was WAY more than any of them could handle alone and barely afforded together. So it was HARD to have some alone time when I could visit for the small amount of time I was there.
So with me working at this business and her begging me to come it was really difficult to come see her but I did *try*. Plus with me making SO MUCH money any overflow, which was a lot by the way seeing how I was essentially single for the most part, I did my own investing into numerous companies and started building my portfolio that would be my retirement.
The following year was even harder as she was finding gigs and was hardly home for me to visit.
Plus I also got promoted and jumped to roughly $90/hr netting me MORE money which caused MORE overflow so of course I invested the overflow that I didn’t need.
Then the FINAL year before it was official that OUR relationship was dead was when Sam was starting to actually get *recognized* and started doing B rated stuff and actually doing small roles for established tv series. I think when I was shopping at the store and saw in the tabloid a picture of an A List STAR with Sam laying on the beach next to him I think that was the final straw for me.
After that I called one last time and left a message that OUR relationship was officially over and added WHY with the tabloid photo in the message.
And this when I went from successful to explosive as I became combative and easily set off. It didn’t take long before I lost my job. Which caused me to drink….heavily.
Four months of heavy drinking and crying and wanting to begin fights at bars when the very name SAM was brought up.
It was BAD as those four months became a HUGE black spot in my memory. The only pieces I have is waking up in some random location at times. Sometimes in some girl’s bed. Sometimes out on the street. Sometimes in MY bed. And sometimes on Josh’s couch.
If you ask me what I did in those four months I would tell you I have ***NO IDEA***.
Eventually I woke up and sobered up. I cut ALL ties to Sam and ignored her calls/emails/texts and all electronic avenues to where she could *talk* to me.
Somehow I found a job that allowed me to work from home with a firm as a consultant.
I started consulting and was being paid PER consultant job I did instead of being hourly. So I hammered at that new job HARD.
Somehow I *accidentally* befriended just about every client I worked for as the business I *officially* worked for kept changing names before I, and the world, found out it was a enormous scheme as the owner hightailed it to a different country.
The companies I ‘consulted’ were PISSED they had lost so much money on the ‘*Consulting Business*’ that **I** worked for but somehow I was able to keep my ties with them and instead created a contract with each business that I would be their MAIN consultant. So whenever they would *want* to shop around for ‘XYZ’ whether it be new advertising or whatever it was MY job to shop around and meet with each business to see if they can handle the job before coming back to the business and *CONSULT* the business on IF the business would be a good fit for the job or not.
Then I slowly built up my life again.
Then last year one of my stocks that I was investing in EXPLODED changed me from ‘*Barely Making Ends Meet*’ to ‘*I’m filthy rich*’.
Between the explosion and my consulting I started living comfortably. I bought my house and started actually enjoying life.
Then about the same time as the explosion Sam found a way to get in touch with me after so long of her silence begging to forgive her blah blah blah.
I told her I would only talk to her IF she stopped begging me to forgive her and we *could* be friends.
Took her a couple of months before she accepted and we started talking again….as friends.
Not *BEST FRIENDS*. Not *SIBLING FROM ANOTHER MOTHER* Friend. Not *Blood BROTHERS*.
But *FRIENDS* just someone you know that you can talk to but not close enough to go beyond the usual bullshit.
And that’s what we did. She would tell me about her gigs and beg me to come for a visit. I’d deny and say I have things to do.
For nine months we did that.
Then last night she showed up begging for a place to crash.
I looked at Josh and spoke with finality, “I’m good.”
He grunted, “You sure?”
I took a sip as I nodded, “Yep. She left…again. Probably won’t be too long before she runs off somewhere and it’ll be another seven or eight years before I hear from her again.”
That made Josh laugh out loud with a formal ‘**HA!!!**’
We sat lightly sipping as our *bro code* kicked in and said nothing for a long moment before Josh spoke, “Can I ask something?”
I looked at him as **I** poured my own drink this time as **I** poured myself two fingers instead of Josh’s *healthy* pour now that the alcohol was taking effect, “Shoot.”
He looked at me, “You DO still talk to her? Right?”
I squinted at him, “Yeah….well sort of.” I added, “why?”
Josh looked at me, “Do you think you could convince her to come to the brewery?”
I looked at him, “Highly doubt it after what just went down.”
Josh sighed, “Shame.”
I looked at him, “Why?”
He shrugged, “No reason.”
I looked at him, “Josh? What is it you’re not telling me?”
He looked at me, “Weelllll…..**if** you are still talking to her AND she **is** in town. I was going to *suggest* that you talk her into coming to the brewery. I know some people that would *LOVE* to see IttyBittyPerkyDoll,” he chuckled, “*Hell* I’m sure A LOT of them would PAY to come to see her.”
He waved his hand at me, “But if that’s a problem I’d understand.”
I blinked at him, “I’m sorry what did you say?”
He looked at me, “What?”
I spoke, “What the hell is *IttyBittyPerkyDoll*?”
He squinted at me as he spoke slowly, “Her….. *Fansly*……. handle.”
I blinked, “Her what?”
He looked at me quizzically, “Her *Fansly* handle,” he wondered it over, “actually HER handle for ALL of her social media.” He shrugged, “Well for all of *her* adult stuff anyways.”
I looked at him dumbfounded, “Her huh?”
He sipped as he looked at me, “You didn’t know?”
I slowly shook my head, “Noooo…..why would I?”
He chuckled, “Come on dude she’s the TALK at the brewery.” He wondered of his answer and amended, “Well those that are in the *know* anyways.”
I spoke slowly, “I’m sorry….what?”
He sipped as he looked at me, “Really dude you didn’t know?”
I shook my head, “No.”
He wove his hand, “Forget I mentioned it then.”
I yelled at him, “HOW IN THE **FUCK** AM I GOING TO **FORGET** SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?!?”
He held up his hand, “Relax dude it’s not a big deal.” He took a sip, “Besides I *doubt* everyone at the brewery KNOWS *IttyBittyPerkyDoll* is really Samantha Reid as she uses a different name. They just know she’s FROM here….” he looked up at the ceiling as he rubbed his beard, “well at least from OUR state…I think.”
I blinked, “What **NAME** does she use?”
Josh looked at me as he took a sip before replying, “Helena.”
I blinked, “WHAT THE **FUCK**??? Her GOD DAMNED **MIDDLE** NAME???”
Josh chuckled, “Yeah as soon as I saw the name and her profile I instantly *knew* it was Sam.”
I screamed, “WHAT THE **FUCK** DUDE?”
Josh chuckled, “RELAX!!! Between her stupid name, her using her middle, and her mask no one *really* knows it’s Sam.”
I screamed, “BUT YOU JUST SAID EVERYONE KNOWS!!!”
He looked at me, “No I **SAID** She’s the talk at the brewery.” He wondered of his answer as he semi slurred, “Though I’m sure people have fucking blabbed about her.”
I looked at him, “AND **HOW** would **SHE** be the *talk* at the brewery?”
He looked at me, “Because **I** *told* them.”
In that instant I wanted to reach over and choke my friend.
NSFW: yes
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