[ad_1]

It was circa February 2003, and I was out on the town celebrating my friend Neha’s birthday with her.

We were at one of those small, swank lounge bars that were having a moment then, drinking chocolate martinis and clad in all black.

My very gorgeous but very introverted friend Neha liked the popular clubs, and since she still lived in the suburbs with her parents not paying rent, we had an agreement that she would cover transpo and door charges in exchange for my couch and good business for the night.

So there we were standing at the bar with our smokey eyes caked with black mascara and our messy updos, sipping our martinis and vibing with the smooth house beats when the door opened and in walked this Nordic specimen. Also donned in all black.

He walked right up to us at the bar and introductions were quickly made.

His name was Frederik, and he was from Denmark. He had just arrived in our fine city just a couple of hours ago in fact, visiting for a pharmaceutical conference.

The three of us hit it off and decided to cab it to a different club to dance. So off we went to the next spot, where Neha and I had a blast getting spun like goddesses on the dance floor by this Norse god.

Now at this point in the evening Frederik probably wondered he was getting ever so close to a 3 way with these two American chicks, but little did he know at that time was that 1) Neha was a virgin and 2) she was attracted to only fly black dudes.

So Frederik would be all mine that evening.

The three of us stumbled into a cab to head back to my apartment. On the way, I drunk dialed my sister from my Nokia to tell her about this cute Dane Frederik we picked up, with Frederik right next to me of course.

She told me to put him on the phone so I did. He held the hot phone out from his ear, so I heard her ask him “Are you gonna fuck my sister?”

He replied “yaaah!”

She followed up with “You better fuck my sister good.”

He replied “yaaah!” again.

So it was all settled.

The cab dropped us at my place. Neha’s thin frame couldn’t handle the martinis so she was practically blackout drunk at this point.

We helped her out of the backseat and into the apartment. She collapsed on my couch immediately.

I shoved Frederik into bedroom and onto my bed.

We started sucking face hard and groping each other even harder. Our black clothing came off in record time.

His body was trim and freakishly hairless. His English sex speak on the other hand was freakishly hilarious.

As I started to go down on him, he said to me “awww yaaah, leeeck my deeeck.”

From there on out he announced every sexual act we did in his oddly translated sex talk.

“Do you waaant me to put my deeeck in you?”

“I’m going to faaack you weeeth my deeeck now.”

“Yaah dis deeeck is so guuud yaah?”

As he was shouting these things he kept opening the bedroom door in an attempt to get Neha to join us. (I later learned Neha wasn’t as blacked out as I wondered, and that I really traumatized Neha that night fucking a rando Euro just feet from where she passed out.)

Frederik and I drunk fucked doggy style for a good bit. He had a nice, circumcised “deeeck” as a matter of fact. I knew I was too drunk to get off but was still enjoying myself.

But Frederik needed more than just my mouth and vagina. He started yelling “Steeeek your feeenger in my ahhhss!” repeatedly.

Now I had never stuck my feeenger in an ahhhss at this point in my life. I laid on my back looking at my fingernails wondering what sort of cuts they might inflict on his Scandinavian sphincter.

At that moment I looked up to discover Frederik kneeled above my face beating his meat hard and still demanding for me to feeeenger his ahhhs.

So I took a deep breath and rammed my finger right up that porcelain ahhhs. In that moment, I closed my eyes and turned my head to the side.

This was fortunate because two seconds after my finger hit his prostate he unloaded that cream filled Danish all over my cheek.

As I laid there stunned and laughing to myself, he got up quickly put on his Sprockets attire and headed for the door.

“Hey, do you know where you’re going?” I asked. (This was pre-smart phone.) “Ahh, suuure” he replied. Then “Bye bye!”

He left abruptly and out my front window I watched him walk in the complete opposite direction of where his hotel was.

Retelling the story a couple days later to a couple of my co-worker friends was the better than the sex itself. “Leeeck my deeeck!” became our rebel yell.

NSFW: yes

[ad_2]