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In real life I’m really shy and sort of quiet. I don’t do great in social situations and would much rather be in the background. Because of this I’ve never really been the center of attention or dated very much.

The thing is, that as much as I hate attention being on me, I crave it too. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to be ogled and whatnot. I secretly get a little excited when some pervy old man catcalls me, even though it’s terrifying. I’ve all the time liked the idea of being objectified for being a woman and have fantasized about letting myself become a total slut. I just don’t have the courage … it’s a very uncomfortable paradox.

Another thing about me is that I’m very small. I’m only 5’3” and I’m very petite, well in an era where “thicc” women are idolized I’m actually depressingly rail thin. Being so small and shy I am terrified of conflict. I hate saying no to someone and avoid it at all costs, often bending over backwards just to appease someone. My bf says I’m basically a doormat.

A couple years ago, before I met my bf, I worked part time as a receptionist for a plumbing business while I took school classes part time. The owner was this enormous, older man named Jerry. He wasn’t particularly fat or anything, just enormous. Definitely over 6 feet and had a enormous chest and thick arms.

Jerry was my boss, obviously, but he was the sort of guy that was all the time the boss, you know? He just seemed like the type that was used to people doing what he said. It was never “Hey, would you pour me a cup of coffee please?” It was “Go grab me some coffee.” And while it all the time sort of irked me how he spoke to us, at the same time I all the time found myself urgent to do what he said. I don’t know if that makes sense.

Anyways, after a couple months Jerry started acting a little differently toward me. He’d call me into his office and make me sit beside him as he went over reports I had filed wrong, all the time with the door shut. And he started making comments that were almost in appropriate, but only when no one else was in the office.

He told me to wear a dress to work so I looked more professional, but none of the other women there wore dresses. He said I should wear a little more makeup because I looked so young. It was humiliating, but he all the time framed it in reference to work. So I wasn’t for sure if it was bad or not.

I wasn’t scared of him, per se, but he was just really intimidating. And I did what he said. I even went out after work a couple times to buy clothes that fit his instructions. Then sometimes if I was there in the morning before everyone else (I worked some mornings and some late afternoons depending on my college schedule) he would tell me to “do a little spin” so he could see my dress. It was so embarrassing but at the same time I sort of liked the attention.

One day he called me in his office after everyone had left. He told me to sit on his desk beside him, which was obviously weird. It made me so uncomfortable but I did it. He talked for a few minutes, sitting really close, about something or another and then casually put his hand on my knee.

I just froze. I didn’t know what to do. Then he stood and leaned in really close to me. I couldn’t look him in the eye. My heart was racing. He leaned over and kissed me. It was sort of rough and pushy. I didn’t know what to do so I guess I kissed him back.

He told me to spread my legs. He didn’t ask or anything, but he didn’t force my legs open either. He just told me to spread my legs. And I did it. It doesn’t make sense I know. It was just the sort of guy he was. He wasn’t bossy, like a nag or something, he just commanded and people obeyed. I don’t know how to explain the difference. He just towered over me and told me what to do, so I did it.

Without a word he pulled his dick out of his pants, slid my panties to the side and worked himself into me. Again it was sort of rough and pushy, but it wasn’t violent or anything. He fucked me on the desk for a few minutes, pulled out to cum on my abdomen, and zipped himself up.

And that was the begin. For several months he would have me come into his office and tell me to blow him or bend over his desk or sit in his lap. And I did. I ever really wondered about if I wanted to do it or not, he told me what to do and I … obeyed. It was never really rough sex, he never hit me or choked me or anything, he all the time just sort of manipulated my body to get me the way he wanted me. And he would finish and send me out of his office.

Eventually he stopped. I don’t know why. I never asked. He just stopped calling me into his office and a few months later I left for a new job.

I still don’t know what to make of all of it, but I still think about it sometimes and to be honest it sort of turns me on.

NSFW: yes

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