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I’ve spent my whole dumb life in the countryside, I’ve been homeschooled by my aunty, and nearly completely isolated from the rest of civilisation. Then on my first trip ever – to the biggest city I have ever seen – I don’t enjoy it at all because I have to stay in the stupid hospital all ’cause I broke my stupid arm and leg. It wasn’t even my fault! if the branch was stronger I could”ve climbed even higher, gotten even a better view of the university, but now I have to stay away from all my cousins, all my toys, and be in this boring place. They’ve tried to make it less scary and dull by painting butterflies on the walls but it is still a hospital. It’s still smelly and loud and unfun. My parents cannot even stay because our home is so far away and they need to work in the farm. So, I am all alone and super, super, bored.

—

The only interesting part of my day is when my nurse talks to me, his name is Sam and he is so funny! He listens to me and treats me like an equal, not like a patient, he’s like thirty but he says that I’m really mature for my age even though I’m still in college and he really means that because though I am the youngest on the ward he says I complain the least. My favourite thing about him is that he talks to me about my feelings and he really, really, understands. I know he does. He is kind and tall and he when he’s around I don’t miss my family as much. Though he says that some of the things we talk about, like boys and stuff, should just stay between us because he isn’t being strictly professional. We do get kinda rude sometimes, and he lets me say naughty words, and he taught me some naughty words too like fuck and pussy and asshole, but he tells me not to say them too loudly so as not to disturb the old people. He tells me its so cute I have never heard them, or even said them, before. He says it is our secret.

I’ve never really had a secret before but I like having a secret, it makes me feel crucial. He says because it’s a secret – and because I am so good at keeping a secret – I can ask him about all the gross things boys do that I wouldn’t ask anyone else, and he has shown me so many things. Earlier today he showed me a video of a guy and a lady and they were wrestling and making weird noises. He says they’re playing a game, but I know he means they’re fucking. It feels strange to say such a naughty word! The boy was fucking the girl in her asshole. It was so gross, and she clearly did not like what was happening, but I said I liked it and he was so happy he gave me some chocolate!

He tells me I am his favourite, that I am the best patient he has ever had, and that he will miss me when I get better. I gave him my phone number just in case, but he showed me how to chat on session instead so we can be completely secret. Like a fun game, like being spies. He has sent me some more gross videos and I promised I would watch them all. He says I have to tell him if they make me feel funny, but I don’t think they are very funny. What I like most about Sam is that he makes me feel safe. I know he will look after me.

—

After dinner time, Sam tells me that he is gonna be on night duty for the next few weeks which is really sad! It means my days are gonna be completely boring, he won’t even be awake to talk to me online. It is gonna be just awful and I tell him that but he says it will be okay, he promises. Sam says we will have even more special time at night because he won’t be as busy, and he won’t have anyone snooping on him or telling him to get back to work. He will be completely free to be with me, but it is still not fair because I will be sleeping! I cannot even sleep all day because they want me moving around doing physiotherapy. I tell him that it was simply unacceptable and that I would like to make a complaint but he just smiles at me and I cannot stay angry at him. It will only be a few weeks, I guess, I think I can manage. He tells me if I really miss him I can stay up and just deal with the consequences, and I am kinda tempted. It will be so much fun having him all to myself.

—

Tonight is the night he starts and the other nurses have been chatting about how short they’re going to be, that nights are running on skeleton crews, complaints have been made about things being missed. Medications are being misplaced but no one is listening, no one cares. This makes me feel all anxious, and I call my parents about how I might be in trouble but they promise me that I will be safe. I don’t want to tell them about Sam but if he’s going to be busy rushing around all night then I’d rather be at home. I text him this and he is just so sweet. He promises me that he will look after me. He promises that he will keep me safe. He promises me that no matter what he is gonna make sure I get all his attention. I feel my fears melt away with his compassionate and caring words. I miss him so much!

—

I wake up and the ward is all dark, all the lights have been switched off, and my curtains have been drawn around me so I have the illusion of privacy. My arm and my legs hurts like crazy! They both hurt almost as bad as when I first broke them, what’s happening? Did they miss my medications? I cannot sleep like this but I don’t want to wake people up, and I cannot get out of bed, the only sound I hear is the soft snoring of the other patients and the soft, intermittent, beeping of random machines. I make the decision to press the call bell hoping that Sam responds. Relief overwhelms me when he pulls back the plastic curtain and steps in to see me. He is smiling so wide that I cannot help myself but smile back despite my agony. His uniform is so professional, not like usual, he’s even got the little watch in his pocket. I think about making a joke but the pain jolts me away from being silly.

I tell him about what is happening and he apologises profusely before disappearing briefly and returning with meds for my IV. He looks at me closely as he injects them and I try to lie back and feel better but I don’t. The pain doesn’t go away, not completely, but my body feels so much heavier. He’s given me too much, I feel delirious. I cannot lift my arms. I cannot lift my neck. I feel my jaw slack, I drool all over myself. All I can do is blink but even that is involuntary. I see the machine that is monitoring my heart rate starts to indicate that something is wrong, it begins to beep and alert everyone but Sam unplugs it. He is looking at me differently now. I try to ask what is wrong, if I did something wrong, but all I can let out is a small whimper. He looks at me then and he puts a finger to his lips. He tells me that this will be a secret.

He pulls down my pyjamas and I cannot withstand. He folds them nicely before spreading my legs to reveal my pussy. He is completely silent throughout this entire process which makes it so much creepier, and scarier. The overgrown fluff that covers my groin does not deter him as he slowly touches me, slowly making me wet. He teases my clit softly, slowly, like he has always in the world. I am so confused, so frightened, but I cannot help but feel aroused. I hate him for this, and as if he can sense that he pinches my swollen clit hard with his finger and thumb. The sharp pain cuts through the haze of my meds and I try to scream but only a garbled cry comes out. He covers my mouth anyway until I stop, wiping my saliva on my face. He whispers to me that this is all a dream. Just a bad dream. That no one will believe me. No one else is awake, no one can help me, no one will save me. I belong to him now.

He pushes and lifts my weak, limp, body until I am hanging over the side of the bed. He grabs a pillow to make sure my bum is raised up and he balances my legs on his shoulders. I cannot look away. He slides a finger, then two, inside my pussy and he watches my eyes as he stretches me out. He smiles at how wet he is making me, forcing me to be. He tells me that he isn’t gonna fuck my pussy though, that would be far too dangerous. I could get pregnant. No. He’s gonna fuck my ass. He is gonna use my pussy juice to lube up my ass and he is gonna rape me again and again. He is gonna fuck me all night. He says that he hasn’t given me any pain medication at all, just a paralytic. That he wants me to feel everything. He wants me to know what he is taking from me. A nightmare made flesh.

He teases my pussy until he’s satisfied and rubs all my wetness around and inside my asshole. He takes his cock out but I cannot see it, all I can see is him and how excited he is. I feel it slide inside and he begins to pump it in and out. The first time he uses me he goes fast, like he just cannot wait to cum. When he shoots it inside I feel it and it feels wrong. He gets hard again pretty soon and this time he takes it slow. He savours his power over me. He enjoys the terror in my eyes. When I begin to cry he cums again. He leans over and kisses my tears away as he rapes me. He tells me not to cry. I’m too gorgeous to cry. When he pulls out again I feel his cum dribbling out of me. He tells me not to worry, that I am not bleeding too badly. That I will be all clean tomorrow. That nobody will know. That this is our secret. He puts himself together and reveals another syringe. I pass out soon after he injects it.

—

I wake up all hazy to see my doctors standing around me all concerned. I don’t now what is real and I ask them what is happening. I ask them if they are real. My bum is so sore! I tell them I think I am leaking. They nod and tell me I am gonna be fine. They say how my nurse noticed I was distressed last night. Acting out strange rituals, touching myself, hurting myself. They want to keep me in a private room just in case, just for observation, just in case I have a hospital infection. They say all this very quickly and I cannot process anything at all. I try and tell them what he did to me but my words are all wrong. They don’t figure out. I say the nurse did something bad and they tell me I am confused. That I did something wrong. That I am thinking badly. That I am ill but not to worry. They will keep me safe.

They put me in a room away from everyone else and I have a nurse with me 1:1 to make sure I am safe, that I can keep myself safe. I don’t know the person they leave me with but they spend the entire time on their phone. They only acknowledge me when I move too suddenly, and tell me to shush when I try and talk. That I need to rest. They take away my phone too, they say it is too dangerous for me to have it. That it can give me bad thoughts, bad ideas. They put a tv on it is showing Sesame Street. I watch Sesame Street until it is night time and my 1:1 is replaced by Sam.

—

He shares a joke with the nurse he is replacing and asks how I have been. He asks if they have been keeping me dosed and they nod. I hadn’t noticed them giving me medications but the day had gone incredibly fast, super fast. What had they done to me? I watch him as he injects the paralytic into my line. He closes the door completely and moves close.

This time he completely undresses me. He kisses and licks and squeezes me. I feel his lips on my mouth as he forces his tongue inside. I feel the pressure of his body as he kisses down my chest. As he sucks my nipples, licking them to make them hard. He watches for any reaction, any noise that I can make, any sign that maybe I want this. That maybe I like this. Maybe this is meant to happen. Maybe he shouldn’t feel any guilt at all. I am revolted, disgusted but impossibly, unfortunately aroused. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. Why is he doing this to me? He spends so much longer making me wet like he wants me to enjoy this. Like he is doing me a favour. I just want him to get on with it, just finish his violent misuse of me, finish breaking me. Just cum and leave. Please. He doesn’t though. He relishes in his victory over me. He loves the power.

When he slides his cock into me again he does it so slowly that I feel every fucking inch. I feel him throbbing inside of me. He looks into my eyes as he does it. He explains to me, as he thrusts, how much I need this. That little stuck up sluts need to learn their place, know their role. That my holes need stretching out again and again, night after night, until I can take cock after cock, without crying a single tear, without begging for help. Until I finally give up any hope of being anything but a whore, his whore, his rape slut. His good girl. I need to figure out that I have no choice but to be hurt, abused, and ruined until there is nothing left of who I used to be. Then he cums again.

He rapes me three more times before he doses me to sleep again.

—

Every time I try to tell staff what is happening I am completely disregarded. They explain to me as I cry and try to leave that my medical records have been marked for false allegations, compulsive lying, and they think I have a personality disorder. My parents have been convinced that it is in my best interests that they stay away, that I need a psych evaluation. They are completely distraught when they look at me through zoom. I try and explain that the report is exaggerated, that its all lies! That all I want to do is come home! Please can I just come home? My parents need to work longer hours to pay for my care, they simply can not leave the farm. I am completely cut off. Completely alone. My only friend visits me every night to rape me. My only source of comfort is his constant degrading praise. My only hope is to become what he wants me to be.

—

When they place me into a private facility they dose me on such significant antipsychotics that I am so numb, so stuck inside my body, that I don’t require paralytics to be a drooling mess. My mind is cloudy always. My reports list me as dangerous. That I needs to be in restraints and kept in isolation. That I bite and scratch. That I will go for your eyes. Sam still visits but he doesn’t drug me. He brings his friends. When I struggle against the bounds, drooling, crying, he tells me that this was all planned. That this will be my life, for now, until they get bored – or I become too broken – and they move onto the next. He tells me that I deserve this. That I am his princess. That I belong to him. I believe him.

NSFW: yes

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