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Its been a few months and I haven’t bothered updating this journal. Life has continued and to be honest I didn’t want this to be a count of how many times I’ve used mums panties to masturbate. A lot! pretty much sums it up. I’ve been discharged from the army, although I am now recovered and out of the cast, the damage has created me medically unfit to continue serving. It hasn’t hit me as hard as I wondered it would because I didn’t want to move away from mum anyway, even though its probably the best thing. I’m still obsessed and think about fucking her every waking moment.

It doesn’t help that were in summer now and mum has been wearing next to nothing. She has been walking around the house in singlets with no bra, long T-shirt no pants. Her body innocently on display but through my sinful eyes it was driving me crazy. I even masturbated the other day while watching her sun bath topless out on the deck. Her C cup tits like soft jelly mounds topped with a small pale nipple, her bikini bottoms barely covering her pussy and her ass completely enveloping the tiny string that held it all together.

We just got back from an impromptu holiday mum organized for us and I have a lot on my mind that I need to decompress because I have had some clear boundaries laid out but a truckload of mixed signals that have left me questioning everything.

Basically 6 hours after I had received my letter to advise me that I no longer fit the health and fitness criteria to serve, mum surprised me with some plane tickets to Fiji and told me to pack because we would be leaving the following day. I was shocked because 2 last minute tickets to Fiji would of cost a fortune. She was so excited and talked about us getting to spend some time together and get break from our lives at home. I knew she was just trying to take my mind off the news I had received but I was excited for different reasons, tropical island, mum, very little clothes, I was sold on the idea.

The next afternoon we got to the airport and boarded the plane, after the three and half hour flight and a full lap around the duty free at Fiji airport it was near 8 pm. We arrived at the hotel late and the lady on the counter advised us that they had overbooked our room and the only room they had available was the “honey moon suite” It would cost a lot more money. Mum didn’t even hesitate in paying the extra, even though it was almost three times the original room price.

We had our bags brought up to the room and when we entered it was definitely a honey moon suite. It had a real love is in the air intensity about it. One thing we hadn’t wondered about though was it only had one bed, a very big super king but one bed short. Mum said she would take the couch and after a long debate I had finally convinced her I would take the couch and she could have the bed.

We had our showers, the weather was hot and both of us had picked the bare minimum of clothes to wear. I had a pair of training shorts and no shirt and mum had a very short, thin nightie on and that barely covered anything. It was a white, thin straps and a low cut V neck. after watching her walk around getting glimpses of her tits and those familiar pink panties, I had wished I wore more to hide the chub that I was sporting for most of the night. I fought tooth and nail to suppress a raging boner.

Mum decided we would should have some drinks and had gone on about, how since I had legally been aloud to drink that we had never had one together. I had been at a training camp around my 21st birthday so she decided we would celebrate it with some drinks that night. I had been all for it and it wasn’t long before we both had got beyond tipsy and were on our way to very drunk, this is when we decided to play a game of truth or dare, which really only became a game of truth and this is where things had got a little heavy.

After a few rounds mum had asked me a question, although it was worded as a question, was actually a confession of information I didn’t know she knew. I think the multiple shots of Tequila had broken down some walls and boundaries and she just came right out with it. She asked me if I had ever used her panties to masturbate with. I had been absolutely gob smacked and instantly wanted to deny it but had enough sense to realize the gig had been up and came clean and replied yes, I felt so small and ashamed and I didn’t know what else to say. I couldn’t discover the words to even come up with an excuse or an explanation.

I guess she must have sensed how I was feeling because she followed up with she didn’t care and that if she was truly been honest she couldn’t help herself from watching me do it that one morning. That noise now clearly explained, but what wasn’t clear was how long had she watched me because I only heard the noise after I had finished. I was blind sided with her response and even in my drunken state my brain was critically analyzing the information which had triggered a question of my own and maybe if I wasn’t drunk I wouldn’t have asked it.

I asked mum if she would ever consider being with me. She had paused for a very long time and her response left me wishing I never asked the question though, I felt small and humiliated when she said that it would never work and couldn’t ever happen. I was internally so gutted and tried my best to not act like it had bothered me but I was drunk and not long after some very weak truth questions from both of us we decided to call it a night and go to bed. Mum had hugged me and told me she loved me and don’t worry about it, she understood I had been through a lot and it was a tough time for me. It worked as a very feeble coverup to how I actually felt but it did leave things less awkward for me and probably less awkward for her.

That night I tossed and turned on the couch unable to sleep, not because it was uncomfortable but my brain was in overdrive worrying about how the next morning was gonna be with all these new truths out in the open. My discomfort and constant fidgeting brought an offer from mum to join her in the bed and again after a debate about how big it was and how fine it would be she had eventually convinced me to take position next to her. It felt amazing lying apart her and all I wanted to do was make a move but couldn’t bring myself to do it and I must have eventually fallen asleep because the next morning I woke up to the sound of the shower after a very explicit dream of me pounding mum in the shower.

I didn’t know how long she had been in there but I wanted a glimpse and finally got up the courage to slide the door a little open, just enough that I had been able to see the shower. She had one leg up on the shower step, her eyes closed while she massaged her pussy with a vibrator. She looked amazing, her dark blond hair wet and body dripping. She massaged her tit and pinched her hard nipple with ferocity as she vibed her clit with the other. I must have caught her close to climax because it wasn’t long before she started to take deep breaths and her body began to twitch with pleasure causing her to loose grasp of the vibrator and it hit the ground with a clank. It made me jump and look away and took me a minute to get my nerve back to look again. When I peaked back through the gap she was rinsing her over sensitive pussy. Her body lurched from the spasms caused by the water flow on her sensitive clit.

I jumped back in bed before she got out the shower. When she entered the room she had a gigantic smile and greeted me with a big cheery good morning. Her demeanor instantly settled me making the previous evenings events seem like there is no lasting weirdness. She told me to go shower because we had a big morning planned and so I had done as she said and when I got out she was wearing a very small red sundress densely spotted with little white flowers. Her face lightly made up and her hair in two low pig tails, it was a good look on her but It felt like she deliberately wanted to drive me crazy.

I showered, groomed and dressed pretty quickly. Decided to go with some light baggy shorts and a basketball singlet. Just before we left mum brought up the previous night and asked me how I felt. I just apologized that I had gone so far but I did think she was stunning but I would back off. She blushed and giggled making a joke I need to get out more but she was very flattered.

Down in the lobby we waited for the shuttle to take us out for a tour around the island. There was no discussion about the night before, although it was on my mind the whole day, mum showed no indication that it bothered her. This put me at ease and everything was going well until the trip home. We had spent so long out that day, there was only one shuttle left to the hotel and not enough seats.

Looking back this probably played the most pivotal role in the development of our relationship. I remember the drivers words exactly as he pointed out a single seat just behind the driver but away from the other passengers almost like a staff only seat. “Big boy you sit and little lady you sit on top.” At first I was excited when her small frame sat on my lap we both laughed as we tried to discover a comfortable position and we began our journey back. It wasn’t long before an problem arose.

She smelt amazing and having the sensation of mum grinding on my lap because of the rough roads caused my erection to grow and there was nothing I was gonna be able to do about it. I tried but the more I fought it, the harder it got. This is the curse of having a larger than average cock because in minutes I felt it pushing up onto mums soft lips and she gave me the biggest side eye and all that I could do in response was smile, shake my head and shrug. An apology and an admittance that I had no control over it . As we drove through those rough roads it rubbed, stroked and prodded mums pussy through our clothes and to be honest I was in complete heaven it felt incredible and it was as close as I was ever gonna get to the real deal. At a couple of points mum must have almost fallen because she would go stiff, gripped onto my arms and squeezed so hard I wondered she would break skin. When we had got close to our resort I had begun to realize that the roads were much smoother and in much better condition, however mum seemed to still be grinding against my hard thick cock. I realize now while writing this out, she probably enjoyed the ride home more than I did. I remember asking her how she felt when we got off the buss because she looked exhausted and a bit weak at the knees and she had just replied, she was fine and that we should go get a drink and have some dinner.

NSFW: yes

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