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(this is my first time, friends, please bear with me!)

Lexi broke up with me a few weeks ago and moved out. Long relationship over, but amicable and it feels like it is for the good.

I woke up in my king-size bed alone, feeling less lonely than I expected, which was a good thing. I have been sleeping naked for half the night, waking up cold, and throwing a little bit of clothes on. This morning I woke up and immediately got re-naked and headed for the shower. I caught my body in the mirror. It shows signs of the relationship—an extra 20 pounds. I’m probably 240. Not bad for 6’2 with my muscularity, but I know that once I hit 225 that’s when all the women in the airport stare at me. The debarkation point seems to be when the veins pop back out of my arms.

I look over my body in the mirror and all of its imperfections—I’m less fit, both from the relationship fat and a long bout of long covid that has taken me out of my historical rotation of gym and bike. But I’m only six weeks of gym, bikes, and extra veggies away from getting it all back, I suppose. I review my body and feel the body dysmorphia that’s plagued me since I was a kid return – extra fat kept in the chest, somewhat pale and big nipples, stretch marks on my stomach (faint, but visible in the right light, from weight gain), stretch marks on my shoulders near my pecs (more prominent, but mostly badges of honor from intense training in my early 20s), but also appreciating that I am moving back towards in shape. My shoulders are broad and strong, and my legs and ass are thick and extremely strong, like they’ve all the time been, and as they should be for life thanks to the deep muscle memory my road bikes have given me. But I’ve all the time loved my cock, too. I’m a grower but I grow to a straight, aesthetically-pleasing and anatomically-lucky 7.5,” with a pronounced head and a slight baseball bat shape. It’s thick but not too thick, and it’s long but can generally become painless for all positions with all of my partners. Going too much bigger risks losing the full gamut of vigorous positions, I’m told.

I step into the shower and start the extra maintenance that I, as a single man again, should do. First, I’m re-entering the world of condoms which means I need to get every bit of sensitivity out of my cock. So, cocoa butter every day I remember it. I slather it on my member. It takes the lotion very quickly. My skin is obviously dry. I’ve been doing it for a few days and my sensitivity is already increasing. The act of doing this brings back an avalanche of memories, not of Lexi but to Autumn, the girl before.

Autumn and I had a long-distance relationship for three years, a fever dream of getting together every eleven days (every other weekend) once in her town, once in mine. Of the forty hours we’d see each other, at least six of them were spent kissing and caressing, licking, sucking, fucking. We’d shower together for the extra intimacy but also because, even though by the time we’d shower for the day (usually after a gym session and certainly after fucking before or after that gym session), there was still an extremely high probability that at least one of us was gonna cum before we got out of the shower. I’m very thankful for the strength of each of our hot water heaters, because we pushed 30 minutes each time.

Sometimes it was me taking in Autumn’s extremely perfect body – 5’7, 120lbs, tastefully augmented tits with dark pink perfect nipples, dark black hair streaked back behind her straight but strong shoulders, fading tattoos on her arms and back, hips wide, pussy shaved or with a little landing strip, ass tight and round and petite, stomach extremely toned. She had the body of a model and it blew me away to be able to be able to consume all of her. Sometimes it was me with my fingers in her or my tongue on her, and I was all the time groping her, perhaps with loofah in hand tending the official company.

But today as I stroke my cock with lotion, tending to the official company, getting harder thinking about Autumn and our showers, I’m thinking about when she idolized my perfect body. Taking a long and hard look at my long and hard cock. Caressing it and my balls for her pleasure alone sometimes, which was even more pleasurable in some methods than when her goals were exclusively to give me pleasure. Sudsing up my whole body, even the parts I don’t like about myself. Taking it in with her perfect body and worshipping mine like it was her equal. When I had my back to her, she would stare at my ass, grab it, suds it up, caress it. Bite it, playfully but also so so sexily. Later in our relationship she started spreading my cheeks and licking it too, giving me my first rimjob of many and opening up a whole new realm to explore. But she would take care of my body. She’s grope my ass and reach around and stroke my cock.

And she would get on her knees and suck it. That’s when it was my job to make sure the water wasn’t on her the wrong way – enough to keep us both warm but not blasting straight into her mouth because her mouth was busy. On her knees with my cock in her mouth.

** I put the lotion down and look down at my full, hard cock, all 7.5” and fully excited, rock hard, thinking about all of those showers with Autumn. I’m home alone and realize that I can do things I haven’t been able to do with Lexi living here, especially since the bedroom went dead. I begin moaning loudly like Autumn is there, in the shower like she used to be, with my member in and out of my mouth. She used to moan almost as much as me (which is saying something) because she enjoyed sucking so much. I’m a very audible receiver of blowjobs just by nature, because I love them, but the feedback has all the time made woman want to do it more (men take note, that and remember to shave everything you want a mouth on, and keep it smelling absolutely sparkling). Here, years after I’ve last shared a shower with Autumn, I’m taken all the way back, moaning loudly.

“yeah baby, keep sucking, I can’t wait to cum in your mouth. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Mmmm, I love your mouth baby.”

“grab my ass, I love when you grab my ass while sucking my cock”

“you’re so nice to remember to lick my balls, it feels so good”

“You’re my little slut, I can’t wait to give you the treat you want”

After not long, I cum and I cum hard.

Lexi left, but I had a little business in my memories with Autumn today.

Thanks for reading. This happened this morning and I’ve been thinking about it all day.

NSFW: yes

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