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I mentioned in the last post that prof and I were driving home for daddy’s birthday on Sunday. We had 3+ hours which meant we had time to talk more. Not the serious discussion like we had last week. Now that we were open books (for the most part) nothing was out of bounds apparently. It started innocently enough but degraded quickly. Out of the blue I said “Who’s the first girl you had sex with and how old were you?” He laughed and said “Oh ok. Is that how we’re going to kill 3 hours?” He was driving. I said “Spill it.” He said “Uhh 16 I guess. A girl named Isabella. In my neighborhood. Her parents both worked and after school one day I walked her home. We made out a few times and went further each time. But anyway we were fooling around one day and the first time like I just put the tip in you know. She was really too nervous though about getting pregnant. The second time though we did it, but she wrapped my dick in like saran wrap. We didn’t have condoms but got some after that. Popped her cherry though. I kind of freaked out at the blood.” we were both giggling. He said “And you?” I said “Oh my high school boyfriend Jason. I was 17. Same kind of thing at his house. Parents gone. But we had condoms and no blood. I’d broken my hymen already with a hairbrush or cucumber or something. I was always stuffing things in my pussy.” We were laughing out loud. “It wasn’t even painful the first time because of that I guess. Maybe that’s why I’m such a whore I loved the first time I got fucked.”

He said “Ok my turn. First anal?” I said “Oh geez come on.” He stared at me. I said “Fine. Earlier this year. Just a guy…” He said “Come on. Be specific.” I said “Ok fine. It was Brian. Right before spring break. But only because I wanted to learn it on my terms, and control it. And his dick wasn’t too big. Perfect size for first time. So you can feel better about that, he’s average. He was a boy toy to me. I used him for sex…and cum. Sorry. And you?” He said “Oh… it was you actually.” I said “Really? None of those other coed whores gave up the ass?” He said “No. I mean that’s not a 1st 2nd or 3rd time kind of thing. Even with us it was a while. I wasn’t with any of them long enough. And definitely did not do that with my wife of course. And Prof J is not into that. Probably too tight. She is so tiny.” I slapped him and said “What does that mean!!” He said “I didn’t mean anything, your ass is perfect baby. But she is like 5’0” and 90 pounds. I’d break her.” I put on my best crazy latina tone and said “So you like them skinny gringo bitches? Like Lexi huh?” He just laughed. Good he was getting my humor.

I said “My turn, whose pussy tastes better, me or Lexi?” He said “No no no. I reserve the right to remain silent. That’s not fair. No win situation. If I say you, you’ll say I’m lying and if I say her, you’ll smack me and hold it against me.” I said “Ok fine…so what about eating ass?” He said “What about it?” You licked my asshole the other day huh?” He chuckled and said “Yeah with the syrup.” I said “And?” He said “I liked it. I mean it was just a golden opportunity.” I said “Ha. Pun intended? Golden from the syrup. Reminds me of a joke I saw last week on TikTok. Ummm let’s see… ‘A woman’s butthole is like a light socket. You know it’s wrong but at some point you are going to stick your tongue in it!!!’ ” He laughed and said “Right. I mean it’s right there!! You gotta try sometime.” He paused and said “Was that wrong though?” I looked at him and said “No baby. No limits. And I won’t say no. Of course it’s ok. My holes are yours.”

I continued “You can use them right now if you want. I whipped my skirt up and showed him I had no panties on.” He laughed and said “My god. Everything is a sexual opportunity with you isn’t it.” I pulled my skirt down and said “Oh, well if you’re not interested I can put it away…” He said “No I didn’t say that. Let me see.” I pulled my skirt back up and scooted forward while I spread wide. He said “Do you have a buttplug in?” I said “Yeah it’s a long drive I figured I’d grind on it and keep myself wet for you.” He said “I have to focus here, I’m driving.” I said “Well watch the road and you can steer with one hand I’m sure.” He moved a hand over and started stroking my pussy lightly on the outside. His fingers ran up and down outside my labia meeting at the top to pinch my clit. Then he repeated that. I was soaking wet. He finally took two fingers and plunged them into my hole, grinding his palm again my clit as he fucked me with them. I laid my head back and closed my eyes. He kept fingering me and I was bucking back against his hand. I pulled my top down exposing my tits and leaned my seat back so cars on the side could not see me. He fingered me as I tweaked my own nipples. At one point he said “About to pass a semi truck.” I said “Don’t care” and let him continue. My eyes were closed and I swear he lingered alongside the truck for a good minute giving the driver a show. After he passed him I finally came, throbbing on his three fingers now pumping my cunt. “Whew, that was fun,” I said. He withdrew his fingers and smelled them saying “Mmmm” before licking them. “Your pussy does taste better though.” I said “You liar!” and we laughed. He said “But to be clear. I only need yours. Her inclusion is your choice.” I said “I know. You don’t seem to mind though.” I appreciated that reassurance that it was us first and foremost.

We stopped after 2 hours for a quick bite and I drove the rest of the way since I knew the way when we got into town. I got a lot quieter as we got closer. It wasn’t sexual thoughts though. But I couldn’t help but think about daddy, my biggest sin, and my biggest secret. Or I wondered it was a secret anyway. Given professor’s analysis of other things in my life it just might be that he knows already. Was that efficient? Certainly not from anything I did when I was home. Surely he would not follow me 3 hours home to observe me on the occasions I came home from college to fuck daddy. But, of course, daddy had come to visit me once at college. Easter weekend. And I had greeted him nude at the door, ran around naked all weekend with the windows open, and I was nude at the door when he left. If he was watching then, well, he knew. Was he waiting to see if I confessed that? We had seen him at church that Easter Sunday. Quite intentionally. He very well could have seen something in my behavior too. Or staked out my place after that. And he had made a point to ask daddy if we could date. Was there something more to that than tradition? And then there was Lexi. She was fucking daddy too. Before Christie came along. But I knew she would not spill that. I tried to put it out of my mind.

When we got there we all exchanged excited hugs and greetings. I had not seen daddy in person in 6 weeks. He looked good. Healthy, happy, fit. I gave daddy his gifts and a card. I got him the same sort of messenger bag that I had gotten professor. Daddy traveled a lot so hopefully he would use it. He seemed to like it. And I got him some vibrant print dress shirts. Trying to modernize his wardrobe a little. Mom all the time got him shirts. Christie seemed to like those so maybe she would make him wear them. We sat around talking for a bit. And then daddy sprung some news on us. He said “Well I was waiting to tell you in person, but tonight is a double celebration. Christie and I are getting married!!” I screamed and hugged her first and then daddy. I was legitimately excited. We talked all about it and she put her ring on. She had hidden it until he told us. I asked about a honeymoon and she said they were gonna Ireland for 2 weeks after that. It was her ancestral home and she had never been. They planned for a small event. Just a Justice of the Peace wedding and a reception after at the lodge with friends. It was her second marriage as well. I had not known that but it was not surprising. She was young but had been married for 3 years to some loser she said. We caught up on everything in our lives and had a good time.

In the evening we needed to get ready for dinner. I had left my stuff downstairs, having never gone up to my room. I grabbed it to head upstairs but Christie said “Come back here, get ready with me. We can talk without the men.” I said ok. Professor had his stuff to change into and went upstairs. Daddy said all he had to do was change shirts so he waited. I told Christie to make him wear one of his new shirts and she agreed. I went to the toilet first and removed my buttplug. Washed it off and stored it in my bag. She didn’t bat an eye if she noticed. We did our makeup and started dressing. She was naked except for a thong and I saw all her tats and most of her piercings for the first time. I was staring and said “Can I check those out?” She looked down at her nipples and said “These? Yeah.” I had wondered about getting mine pierced many times so I was fascinated. She had rings in a decent sized gauge. I asked about sensitivity and feeling, saying I wondered about doing it. She said it heightened everything and her nipples were all the time hard. I was topless too and she said “Yours would look great pierced, on your big tits. Lucky professor.” I laughed and said “Daddy is lucky too, you’re adorable, skinny and …. He has fun with your piercings I’m sure.” She said “He seems to like them, yes. I guess the piercings make up for not being as big as you.” I gave her a confused look. She said “Relax. That’s why I wanted you to come back with me. Your dad told me. About you and him. And Lexi too.” I was once again stunned. I said “He did?” She shrugged and said “Yeah.” I said “You seem casual about it… I mean… did you know or suspect it. I know you have that Pisces instinct. You figured out me and Lexi were lovers.“ She said “No I really didn’t suspect it. I just thought you were so close because of what happened to your mom. I never would have thought of it. That kind of thing was always… like in an abusive relationship in my mind. My sister was molested by an uncle so…that kind of thing. I told you before that my family is so fucked up. But all I see between you two is love. And you were adults. Given the circumstance of lockdown it was… natural I guess. Heck I was fucking my landlord during that time. I couldn’t pay rent as bars were closed and pet sitting was non existent. Everyone was home. And I had no money coming in. He is a fat fuck and we wore masks it was so stupid but I did what I had to. He gave me money for food and I cooked for him too because all he usually did was eat out. People did what they had to do. And you two… all alone. You had needs. You already loved him. Both attractive and missing intimacy.” She shrugged. Then she asked if prof knew. I shook my head no and she saw the tears in my eyes. She said “You should tell him.” I said “Really?” She said “Yeah. Once your father told me that I knew he would never lie to me about anything. He told me before he asked me to marry him. Said we should not have any secrets.” I still was not sure if I should or could tell him though.

We were dressed now. But I had to get myself together before facing prof again. I could not let on. I told her to keep it to herself and she said of course and hugged me then she went out leaving me to compose myself. Dinner was great and I had put daddy out of my mind again. We did not have more than one drink since we were driving back but we did have dessert of course. After we got back to daddy’s house he said he needed to talk to me. Alone. Oh boy. I figured it was about us and what he told Christie. To distract prof I said “Hey, have Christie show you her nipple piercings. I want to know if you like that.” They looked at me, not sure if I was joking or not. I was serious. We went up to what was my bedroom briefly too when I lived here. I sat on the daybed and he said “Baby I have something for you. Your Tía Carmen gave it to me in Mexico City the day we were leaving. She came to the hotel that morning early. Apparently your mother, when she had driven down to visit, had given her a sealed envelope. She told her that it contained the results of a paternity test she had taken years ago. She felt that with the pandemic and the possibility of dying from it that she had to tell someone. So she gave her one envelope with a copy and she had the original with her. It burned up in the fire after her wreck, mostly likely. I did not find it in the things recovered at the scene. She said if anything happened to her, Carmen should give it to me to give to you if it ever became a question. You had inquired prior to that of course. But I didn’t know this existed then. And I have not seen you since Mexico City. I want you to have it because as you know, I never wanted it, I don’t need it. I know you are my daughter and have never doubted it. But your mother apparently thought that you might have questions. And while I don’t want to open it, that is your call for your own answers if you want them. Now or at some later date. So here.” I was already crying. It was a lot. I had accepted mom’s assurances the same way my dad had. But now I had the proof one way or another if I wanted to know for sure. Daddy said “Just promise me you will never tell me. She didn’t do it for me. I don’t want to know because even if it proves what I know, then your mother still doubted my belief and faith in her. I don’t want that because I never doubted it. To me she did it for you, if you want it. But I can’t make that decision for you, that’s not fair. Mom would have told you and showed you if you asked her and this is her way of still being able to do that.” I just cried and he hugged me. She still found a way to reach out to me even though she died over 2 years ago. It felt like she was here for me in a time of need. But I didn’t know what to do. For now I put it in my purse.

Well that ended a long and somewhat dramatic day and we faced 3+ hours of driving back. After I composed myself we went downstairs and gathered our stuff to go. We hugged and said we would be back for the wedding. It would work out where prof would be here that weekend at least through Saturday for the wedding. I had to be there for that. In the car prof noticed I was pretty quiet. I said I was just a little tired and we rode in silence for a while. Eventually I started talking about their wedding and stuff just as a distraction. We stopped at a rest area an hour to pee and switch drivers. But when we got back in I said “Ummm it’s pretty dark and not many cars. I need my happy juice.” I really did need that mood enhancer. I had not swallowed his load in days. But also it should distract prof from thinking I was upset. He unzipped and I leaned over. It was easier with him in the passenger seat anyway. I sucked him off, not stopping even when a car pulled in on my side. It only took a few minutes and he gave me my reward. I swallowed, kissed him and then hit the road. He asked if I was ok to drive. I wasn’t actually tired and I said “Yeah. That perked me up like an energy boost.” My mind was racing now so I was wide awake despite it being near midnight. I was thinking about prof, daddy, mom, Christie, their wedding, and now this test result. Blah. I might not sleep tonight anyway I wondered.

But I did get a few hours sleep. I woke up Monday and I was still processing. But I was horny as fuck. We had not fucked the previous day and I just needed stress relief really. I had some time before class so I played with my pussy for nearly an hour, edging and just spoiling myself. I needed a big O and that gets me to that point. I ended up fingering myself with my butt plug in and came enormous. That cleared my head. A few chat friends benefitted from my extreme horniness as I shared a few pics of my gaping pink cunt. Thanks for the nasty feedback guys it gets me off. And I only had one Monday class thankfully so that was easy enough. Once again I was reflecting after lunch and I had time to think with a clear head. Prof had not said or asked anything even after daddy wanted to talk to me alone. Could be nothing or could be telling. He also had not messaged me. I checked in with him and he said he was just busy working. Lexi came over after classes mid afternoon. She was stressed by the first day as she had several classes. She was bitching so much she pissed me off. I couldn’t think and I was not ready to tell her yet either. I finally had enough and said “Come here bitch. You need some stress relief.” I wasn’t often the aggressor with her but today I was. I grabbed her and pulled her into my bedroom. I said “On your knees.” She stripped and got on her knees. I got in behind her and started lapping at her cunt. It was delicious as all the time so I was enjoying it myself. I ate her ass too thinking about the joke I told prof. She was nice and lubed up and I went and got a big dildo saying “Ready whore?” She was rubbing her clit and said “Mmm hmmm use me.” I shoved it in her ass and she gasped loudly. I then replaced her fingers, licking her clit as I pumped her ass with it. She was saying “Fuck yes, fuck my ass….oh god yes!!!” She took only two minutes to explode in a enormous orgasm as I watched her cunt and ass clenching spontaneously. She collapsed and I smacked her ass saying “You’re welcome.” I went back out to the living room. She called out after a minute saying “Your turn babe?” I said “Not today. I’m good” She dressed and came back out saying “What’s wrong? You never turn down sex.” I told her the story of the letter and she said “Just open the damn thing already. Rip off the bandaid and move on. I’m here for you. You know that. And if it’s bad news then well I don’t know who my daddy is either. At least you had a mom. And we have each other now.” Geeze. Tough love I guess. But she kissed me and said “Forever.” She could be sweet.

I had to go tutor J Monday evening for the first time. I told prof I would stop by after. Lexi and I went and got Chick-fil-A, my comfort food for dinner. I did not feel like cooking. Then I went over to Helen’s only remembering I had exposed myself to J when I saw him because I had been distracted. He looked embarrassed and was not making eye contact. Hmmm. Helen asked where we wanted to study and I said “Let’s go to your room. Quieter. No distractions.” He seemed reluctant but I said “Come on let’s go mister.” Once in his room he brought it up immediately saying “Sorry about barging in on you.” I said “No big deal J. Let’s treat it like a family thing like you walked in on your mom or big sister. Just forget about it, it happens.” He shrugged and seemed to relax a bit. He didn’t have much college work yet. I helped him organize his binders and looked at his sheets the teachers handed out like a class syllabus. We reviewed his Spanish so far. Easy stuff even for him because of what he already knew. But the written language versus spoken word is all the time a different beast. I still struggled with written stuff because I learned the same way by verbal immersion. This might actually be good for me too. I’m honestly not 100% on all the tilde’s (ñ) and accent marks (é) and punctuation differences (¿) in the written language. After his work was done I guess he felt emboldened and worthy of a reward. He said “Hey, since it’s no big deal… can you send me some nudes?” Oh you little shit. Greedy just like Alex. I said “NO! First of all that’s a felony if I send them to you. You’re underage. Secondly you should be focused on young Ms. Madison. Not me.” He said “It’s a crime for her to send them too, not that I would ask.” I said “Listen smartass. Be happy with what you got already or I’ll make you delete the videos I know you have.” But I was flattered he wanted my pics. My little deviant.

I was only there an hour or so, it was early in the college year. Afterwards I went to profs condo. He let me in and I said “Hey. Let’s fuck.” He said “Ummm I think you should tell me what’s bothering you first.” Damn’t. I broke down telling him about the letter and that my mom had been rather promiscuous so there was some question about my dad. But I told him mom assured him, and he believed her, but apparently she had this test done. He just listened and was supportive. He asked if I was gonna open it and I said I wasn’t sure. But not yet. He was equally quiet now and I figured he was processing as well. He said “I would think you would want to know, one way or another. Not knowing is worse isn’t it?” Damn, just like Lexi except he phrased it better. But he didn’t figure out. Or did he? She knew about daddy and that was her reaction. Maybe he knew. Fuck it I wondered. Let’s get this out there. I may not be ready for that but time to rip the bandaid off my immoral slutty incestuous sin. Felt more like ripping a tourniquet off, which is not usually a good idea.

I got up and went to the liquor cabinet and poured myself a shot of tequila. I shot it back. Then another. No lime or salt. I offered but he declined. I sat across from him, looked at him and said “If he is not my father I will be devastated but it would absolve my greatest sin. If he is my father then you know all my other sins but telling you this could end us and I would be devastated. But I have to be honest. I seduced my father during pandemic. <I paused and watched his reaction, he creased his eyebrows curiously> After mom died of course, like months later. We were lovers for about a year. It ended prior to me coming back to school. Except for a brief period around Easter when we reunited. I do not regret it, you should know. <he looked away, and blinked> I love him more than anyone on this planet but it’s different you know. It’s the love of a parent and child, that part is the same, the sex was like a bonus. Maybe like sex with Lexi is a bonus to you but the emotional connection for you and I is the deep part of our relationship not the sex with her. <he made eye contact and nods slightly> Weird comparison I know. But it is all in the past. I have no guilt about it but I do not long for it or wish it was still going on. I’ve moved on. Truly. I love you and I want to be with you. <no observable reaction> But anyway my dilemma is I would rather live with my sins and you knowing I fucked my father than find out he is not my dad and not know who I am especially with my mom gone. The only guilt I had was in keeping it a secret. But now I may lose you too and still find out he is not my father and be all alone. Well except Lexi but she is not the most emotionally supportive person.” I had really let loose and blurted it all out uninterrupted.

I paused and he simply looked at me and blinked. He simply said “Hmmm. Interesting.” I said “That’s it? Interesting? Did you know? I mean you could have seen us around Easter I imagine.” He shook his head and said “No I didn’t actually.” Shit well this one maybe I should not have told him. He said “Well, reflecting back I guess I can see it. But I just chalked up your close relationship to your mother passing.” That was what Christie had said too. He continued “Plus you are just naturally…. flirtatious. And your father. Well he may be harder to read than anyone and quieter than me. I got nothing from him. He’s a brick wall. I mean he loves you dearly but…no. I had no clue.” He seemed almost perplexed at his failure to detect it more than the act itself. Speaking of brick walls, I was dying. I could not read him. I said “Just tell me… do you hate me? Loathe me? Am I disgusting? Are you done with me?” I was crying. He said “Oh god no, I’m sorry E, I was just surprised.” He came over and sat next to me putting his arm around me. He said “I need to process it. But don’t read anything into that. It’s just my way. But my gut reaction is… to support you. But I’d like to know more. Not to get into details like that but just like how it happened. Your mental state. How you handled it when it ended. I analyze things. Sorry. But for now just let me hold you. Let it out. That had to be a massive stress on you.” He didn’t say he loved me. But he didn’t throw me out or humiliate me like a leper. I just cried some more. It was out there now.

When I gathered myself I told him more. The seduction (all me despite what daddy says) and the gradual steps. How it went from fledgling open masturbation to masturbating together. Our Euro friend who inspired us. How I role played my moms mannerisms, wore her lingerie, called him Papi, etc. And then how it turned into more just sex for sex sake. Stress relief for us both. And training him to use me like a whore. He just listened intently but never seemed to judge. How he started dating and I reacted poorly fucking rando tinder dates to shove it in his face. And how it ended as I went back to college. Then the reunion around Easter and how I introduced Lexi and had her servicing him for a while. He actually laughed and nodded saying “Of course.” He said “Were you going to tell me? If not for this letter I mean.” I said “Yes. I don’t know when but yes. This made it more immediate or urgent.” I added “Oh uhhh… I should mention that I also slept with Lexi’s dad. Well, Bruce, her adoptive father.” He just nodded. The hits just keep on coming.

He said “I can’t help but notice the similarities between myself and your father. Tall, dark, trim, goatee, stoic, professionals, etc.” I said “Please believe me. I never think of him when I see you. I mean maybe at first before I knew you. But while there are similarities of course it’s more of just a type for me. And I never think of him when we are together…sexually. Honestly. You are two different people and I love both of you in different ways. It happened. But I just think of him as my father now, not a lover, it’s impossible to escape that it happened but I do not wish it still was happening.” He said “I mean it’s not uncommon for girls to marry someone like daddy anyway in loving or even in abusive parental relationships. But I see this as loving purely from what you described.” He just held me and eventually I just said I should go. He said “Listen, come by tomorrow ok. We can talk more then just like with a clear head ok. Get some sleep.”

I did sleep. I guess purging it let me relax. What’s done is done I wondered. It was a good thing because Tuesday was a big day. 4 classes and I was out almost all day. I had messaged him “Still want to talk?” at one point and he replied “Yes, see you after class or whenever you want to come over.” So he wasn’t ghosting me at least. I hurried over right after class. I just couldn;t wait any longer. My fate awaited. I came in and he greeted me warmly hugging me and kissing me. I was a little surprised. He said “I love you.” I said “Still?” He said “Yes. Of course. I don’t intend to just ignore it, I get why it was a big deal, but it did happen before we even dated. I did think about it all day. So let me express my thoughts a little. I had a lot of thoughts. I had to make notes in fact.” He drew out a little sheet of paper. I chuckled. It was almost comical really.

We sat and he said “First and foremost, the fact that your father is obviously happy and getting married says a lot. And your genuine excitement for that is very telling. I did not doubt you when you said it was in the past, I’m just saying that cemented it for me. I do not want to ever talk to your father about it though. It might be best if he does not know that I know. But that is your call. I don’t like keeping secrets but this might just be something two men should never discuss, much less know that the other knows. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable around him.” I nodded. I could see that being very awkward. Both methods.

“Secondly,” he continued “You should know despite the stigma here in the US incest is not judged the same everywhere. I’m not sure if you know but incest between consenting adults is legal in a lot of places, including Spain by the way.” I did not know that. Huh. “As well as some other western Euro countries, Brazil, Japan, China, Russia, etc. although most prohibit marriage,” he added. “The United States is really so backwards sometimes. So much freedom per se, but still very closed minded and oppressive sexually. The founding may have been to escape religious persecution but they brought a puritanical mindset here that persists compared to a lot of other places.” Was that an acceptance by him? I’m sure it’s still a stigma though even if it is not illegal in those places. But at least it was not punished harshly. And that Euro woman daddy had met online said it was common in her customs when a mother dies. I guess that was legit.

“Quick tangent,” he added in “Ummm please don’t ever call me Papi or daddy in bed. You never have, but just thought I’d throw that out there. That would throw me off.” Well I guess he thinks we will have sex again. Good sign. But there was a reason I never called him those and had to come up with his sexy nickname (Mi León). I nodded, not wanting to interrupt his train of wondered. But how long is this list I wondered?

He then said “Ok. As you know I have researched incest in different cultures as well. The stigma is primarily a factor of the incidence of birth defects but that was greatly increased in bloodlines that continuously inbred like royalty. The Spanish ruling family of the late 1500s-1700s the Habsburgs, basically bred themselves out of power as there were finally no fertile heirs remaining. Deformities probably killed the most famous pharaoh King Tut whose parents were brother and sister. He is famous mostly because his tomb was found intact. Not based on what he did as king. He actually died young at the age of 18 and was probably at least partly crippled. Anyway all of that is to say that the stigma around incest is primarily about survival of the species in the long-term, or progenation of the family in the short term. Academically. And so royals learned to marry off between other royal families instead of within their own. But even there, still hemophilia was called the royal disease because of how common it was. It brought an early death to many would-be heirs. Queen Victoria’s bloodlines passed that down through the females to the males across many Euro royal families through intermarriage. ”

Wow he really did have a lot of knowledge of incest. He continued “Now the actual incidence of birth defects in a one-off incestuous relationship, meaning no other cross breeding, is only 1-2% higher than non incestuous relationships.” I did know that actually. Anna had told me that when she researched it. But why was he telling me this? Having a child with my father was never an option particularly now. I’m obviously not pregnant. But I was not gonna stop his lecture. It was fascinating if nothing else. He paused and looked at me and then said “Your very honest and difficult confession certainly gave me pause yesterday. I had to digest it. And it was because of something more than just what you confessed.” He paused again and a little tickle in the back of my brain realized something else was going on here just as he said “I have to tell you something myself.” I was quiet just staring. He said “I told you about Isabella my first sexual encounter. Well… a few months later I had my second sexual relationship with Elena. She was 16 also. We were in love or we thought we were, as teenagers, you know. We grew up together… we were first cousins.” That lingered for a minute. I realized he was telling me we had commonality. He continued “And our families were close. Our mothers were sisters and we were both the youngest children so we were less supervised by the time we were teens. Our older siblings were not around. Our parents were both busy in local company and politics. They were wealthy, we were middle class. They had a maid but she let us do whatever we wanted. She stayed in the kitchen cooking and cleaning. We were soon fucking almost daily after college. Well we got busted one day by her mother and she freaked out. We were half dressed because we heard her come in. We were not expecting her of course. But she knew what was happening when she saw us. She was cussing and slapping Elena and chasing me out of there. Ordinary hysterical latina mama. After that they kept us aside. At family functions they would police us and not let us out of their sight. Elena snuck out one night and came to my house and rapped on the window. I snuck out with her and we ran around all night. We made out but did not have sex that night we had nowhere to go. When we got home at 4am we were both busted. I got smacked by my mom and a rolled up magazine. And that was the last time I saw Elena. She was sent away to a convent or boarding college or something. I had no car or means to go to her and I did not know where she was anyway. Nobody would say. Apparently later she was sent to live with relatives in another city too.

I contemplated for a second. His first real love wasn’t Isabella, but his cousin Elena. He never did say he and Isabella were in love. But he and Elena were. Did that trigger his entire incest interest academically? I said “Did you ever look for her?” He said “No. not really. When I went to university I did not have a car in Mexico City. I rode transit buses and the metro and I never knew where to look. Then I went to the US. I never had a cell phone until I came to the states. He shrugged. I said “They took her away so abruptly. Did you ever think she got pregnant, maybe?” He stopped and pondered. He said “Yes. That’s why I mentioned the birth defects thing. I mean we used protection. Always. Except one of them broke one time but…” I said “So it’s possible. If so you have a child a year younger than me. I was born in 2000. She would have gotten pregnant in 2000 and born in 2001.” He replied “Yeah. I guess it’s possible.” I said “I think it’s time to find out the truth. Your mom knows. Your aunt knows of course. A lot of time has passed. If you have a child we have to know.” He said “I agree.”

I started thinking about his line of wondered the previous day. I said “What is your mom like? I mean like me or…?” He said “Oh. Well a strong woman, a tough disciplinarian. Loving but high expectations. More career oriented than family.” I said “Buxom like me or petite?” He said “Petite. Skinny. My dad had the height.” I said “So would you say your mom, your ex wife and Prof J had a lot in common?” He pondered and said “Yeah.” A lot of guys marry their mom too. He obviously was attracted to the type. But that had not worked out for him. Lexi probably fell in that camp too. I said “So what about Isabella and Elena?” He said “Yeah I see where you are going. Both are definitely more like you. Free spirits. Sensual. And more curvaceous. I mean they were teens but yeah, mature for their age.” Big tits he meant. So this was interesting I was more like his first sexual encounter and his first love. I said “Elena is so close to my name… that’s interesting. If you ever call me Elena in bed, I’ll kill you. You’ve been warned.” He laughed and said “Why do you think I call you little bird.” I slapped him and said, “You better not have called either of them little birds.” He said “No. Just you.” I said “Oh also, you’ve heard my dad‘s pet name for me. That is since birth and you probably should never call me that either. Nobody but daddy calls me that.” He said “Little bird or my dirty whore. Got it.” I slapped him again. But playfully and yes that’s correct.

We went to grab some takeout for dinner because I had been too busy and focused on this to cook. We just talked casually at dinner, nothing about the big reveal. He seemed totally at ease with me like nothing was different. He really put our transgressions on the same level and just accepted it. I don’t know. I think a cousin is different than your father. But in his eyes both were situations that just happened and you can’t help it. Without another sexual outlet and ample opportunity with someone you care for and are around every day it was sort of natural. And being accepted in different cultures in his studies seems to have made it less of an problem. I never would have wondered that.

When we got back to his place though he said “Well so….the only other thing I wanted to talk about is the test result. I’ve thought through this thing rather logically. Yesterday I said you should open it just because not knowing was worse. But I understand your apprehension now. The good news is, if he is your father that is not going to end our relationship. I promise you. And I’m not looking for any easy way out of absolving your sin either. I actually believe he is your father. And the evidence would suggest the test result proves that.” I said “What do you mean?” He said “Did you ever know your mother to disobey your father?” I said “No.” He said “Well she did this without him knowing. But never told him. She wanted to remain faithful to his wishes. But she knew you might have questions.” I nodded. “So, she kept it hidden but she started to worry that something might happen to her and you would never know. She probably suspected you would have questions. And by not telling him she was honoring his wish,” he added. He paused and said “Now would your mother ever do anything to hurt you?’ I said “No. I guess not. She even left the discipline of my rebellious ass to daddy.” He said “Exactly. So if this was a negative test result, meaning he was not your father, I think she would never want you to know. But she kept it, even making sure to have backup copies made, and giving it to a trusted sister. You don’t do that with something that could destroy not only you, but your father. Because the fallout of a negative result would surely get back to him. A positive result, meaning he is your father, would be easier to keep from him thus honoring his wishes still. Logically the test result shows you are his daughter.”

It was pretty well wondered out. I was so overwhelmed. I don’t think I could process it that way. It made sense, but you never know. I pulled out the envelope and looked at him. He stood above me and said “Open it.” Not in a commanding way but in a reassuring way. I hesitated and looked down. If it was bad news at least I did have prof. And Lexi. I trusted him. After a few seconds I exhaled and ripped it open and unfolded the sheet of paper. I read it. Stopped. And read it again to be sure. I folded it up and put it back in my purse. I stood up and looked up at him. I smiled and nodded. He was right. I cried in a combination of relief and joy.

After, he kissed me and said “I love you.” Then swept me up and took me to bed. It was like reclaiming a partner who had been with someone else if that makes sense. Like I had counseled Alex and Helen. He was reaffirming his love for me and that I was his. I had no doubt about that. But it was very nice. We made love passionately and not a word was said. We looked in each others eyes the entire time and just laid together after. And then after resting we made love again this time with me on top riding my lion to several orgasms. Now it felt like we were free and clear. Totally open. Except I still had to confess my sins to a priest. But this had been the hard part. I know God forgives. Even whores.

NSFW: yes

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