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I grew up in a very devoutly religious Catholic home. I was indoctrinated with lectures on modesty and purity culture which have shaped who I am as a person. Nothing abusive but I feel like I was living under a rock compared to who I am today. I went to a local state school that helped me blossom into the woman I am today. I became a little more liberal (much to my parents dismay if they only knew) and quickly went down the path of curiously exploring porn, masturbating, and sexual roleplaying online. Ironically enough the guilt and shame brought about by sexual ‘sins’ was never related to a fear of offending God but more a fear of being found out by my parents or other religious people.

I am not the perfect catholic, but I attend Mass, pray the occasional rosary, have a small statue of the Blessed Mother on my dresser, and while I figure out the church’s position on sexual sins, I realize that pleasuring others is a harmless sin that doesn’t hurt anybody. I’ve grown from being afraid to look at and touch a cock, to cherishing the moments I have pleasuring one as a selfless act of charity.

The transition from holding rosary beads in my hands, to holding and stroking a cock on the privacy of my sofa, was an intense transformation. I grew into reciting Hail Mary’s and petitioning for heavenly help “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death….” as I warmly breathed against and licked his cock. I grew to find that while I could kneel and receive Holy Communion at Mass, that I could kneel and receive other things from him as well. I feel awful that blasphemous stuff turns me on. I feel the two most intimate things I can have in my mouth are Holy Communion and a hard cock.

I think a lot of things allure me to giving head: Submission. Devotion. Intimacy. The act of kneeling evokes an almost religious or spiritual level of worship, and the selfless aspect of giving of myself without receiving is almost sacrificial.

NSFW: yes

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