[ad_1]

I went over to a blind date’s house. I was 22.

We had met on Craigslist Casual Encounters, an online no-strings-attached personals ad space that no longer exists. I think because it started getting used by prostitutes to discover Johns. I frequently posted and responded to advertisement at that time in my life. I was a boundless slut looking for male validation and I loved hooking up with new and numerous strange men. I **almost** had two hookups on the **same night** until one guy backed out.

So, I went to this guy’s house after exchanging a few emails and photos. I was wearing a little black dress and black pumps. He answered the door and I was shocked; he was very handsome. His photos were good but they didn’t do him justice. He invited me in, he offered me wine and we small-talked. He was so **charming**; it was disarming. Before having finished my wine I was on my knees giving him a blowjob… so, to be fair, an average one of these dates for me.

He reached under my arms and stood me up, turning me around. I felt like a marionette and not in a bad way. He rubbed my exposed arms and back and gathered my hair and pushed it over my left shoulder, kissing the nape of my neck. It was all very *sensual*. He unzipped my dress and I let it cascade down my body and fall to the floor. Then he unclasped my strapless bra and I let that too fall down to his living room floor.

He took my hand and led me to the back of the house. I was all smiles and giggles. We arrived at his bedroom and the foot of his bed. He had turned me so my back was to the bed. He pulled my panties down, kissing me all over my stomach, legs, pelvis and my clit.

Then he spun me around again so I was facing the bed with my back to him. He pushed me forward so that my hands were bracing me on his bed then guided me until I was on all fours on his bed with my feet dangling off. I could hear the metallic clanging of his belt buckle, hear his zipper being pulled down behind me as he disrobed.

Before I knew it his cock was running through my slit. I was nervous as hell but he was just teasing at me at that point. Then he just **plunged** into me, hard and deep, slamming into my cervix immediately. I was fairly dry still, having gotten here quite quickly. Between the dryness and hitting my cervix the pain almost made me crumble; I freaked out. I tried to squirm away, to get off his cock. He caught me by the shoulder near my neck, digging his fingers in and hooked my right arm just above the elbow, grabbing painfully. He was very strong. He pulled me back toward him and kept *pumping*. I **begged** and **pleaded** with him to stop but he didn’t even answer me, like I wasn’t even a person, like I didn’t deserve an answer. It was utterly humiliating.

When I started to struggle more he moved his grip on my right arm to my wrist, twisting my arm painfully behind my back and pressing it against me. He pushed me forward **hard** with his grip around my neck. My face was pressed into his pillows and my ass was up in the air. He kept fucking me hard, fast and deep. I started to cry into his pillows. I still struggled but it all seemed so fruitless. I was pinned down and helpless.

Thankfully, finally, my body finally caught up to what was happening and my pussy started to get wet. It made it hurt a **lot** less. But… it also started to feel good. It started to feel **really** good. I felt ashamed. I could feel it building. My legs shook, I panted, my heart-rate quickened, I **moaned** into the pillow. I came all over his dick. There was no hiding it. I got intensely wet and the pillow did nothing to stifle my moans. My hips bucked and rolled as my body betrayed me. That’s when he laughed from behind me, over my naked back. He laughed and said “good girl” to me. I gave up fighting. I was ashamed of myself. I was defeated.

He was **furiously** pumping away inside me. I could hear his pelvis slapping into my ass. It wasn’t long after I came that I felt his hips spasm and go into these short but intense digging bursts. His fingers dug into my neck and wrist and he pulled me against him and was grinding into me. And then I felt it. I felt the warmth spreading inside me as he moaned and sighed. He had cum inside me.

He collapsed on my back and I felt his weight on me as I crumbled beneath him, his dick still inside me, twitching and jerking. He laid there, on my back, for what felt like an eternity. I did nothing to stop him, just sat there in a collapsed ball, crying quietly.

Then he finally rolled off and lay at my side. His eyes were closed, hands behind his head, breathing even. He was basically passed out from what I could tell. He was so casual, as if he hadn’t just held me down and raped me. As if it was just typical sex.

I got up, still sobbing and whimpering, but trying to stifle it, not wanting to disturb him. I went to the living room. I put my dress back on and grabbed my bra. I distinctly remember wanting to go back for my panties, but I was scared to wake him or stay any longer than I had to. I left without them, feeling his cum leaking down my leg. I drove myself home, crying all the way. I took the longest shower when I got home, just wanting to feel clean.

I never heard from him or saw him again. I admit, I drove down his street, by his house, a few times afterward, but I just kept driving. I don’t really know why I did that. Maybe to confront him? Maybe to seek his approval… He had gotten into my head. I still think about him. I still think about that night. And when I do, I touch myself. As fucked up as it is, it turns me on. Apparently its quite common to fetishize rape afterwards, or so I’ve been told by various counselors and therapists.

That experience changed me. I watch CNC and rape porn now, even make some caption porn of it. I imagine myself in those scenarios. I like sex to be rougher. I like slapping; on my face, tits, and cunt. I like being verbally abused and degraded. I like being physically controlled. I roleplay rape scenarios online. I chase the dragon.

NSFW: yes

[ad_2]