There it is again.

It starts in the pit of my stomach; those butterflies he used to give me. It’s the gradual create up to what would lead to a powerful Orgasm, but now I dread its arrival.

“Not again, I can’t do this again!”

It rises into my heart and pumps my blood through my veins faster and faster, like a heart attack that’s gonna claim my life, but I’ve gone through this enough to know it’s worse than that. I try to sit up and go to the bathroom, wash my sweaty face, but he’s keeping me down on the bed singing words into my ear.

“Sara,” he moans, “You feel so good…”

I keep refuting him as if the outcome will change. I deny his advances every time, but the intensity increases the more I withstand. Knowing how stubborn he was, this is some kind of power play to prove how much I still Love him. How much I want this, and I do…just not in this way.

My hips arch up from the bed suddenly, so high you’d think he had broken my back. The rush of my climax was just that hard that I couldn’t control where my body went. Clinging onto the bed sheets with my eyes bolted shut, my jaw almost unhinged as I screamed through my Orgasm. It’s so embarrassing, I feel like I was exaggerating my pleasure like those Porn stars we used to watch.

“It hurts!” I break out into a sob, “O-Oh my God…I can’t stop!”

“Good girl…” he growls.

He sounds tired like he just came too, but he’s willing for me to go on. So, he pushes me over my limit, just as he has done since his death.

It’s been 6 months since that night. Just weeks before we started school. That kid turned out to be my true Love and my first heartbreak. Patrick Sexton.

Patrick grew up being made fun of for a lot of things, including his name.

“Patrick, like that dumb starfish? So, you’re just a fat pink blob with rocks for brains!”

“Sexton? That’s funny, ’cause you’d be the LAST person to get a ton of Sex!”

Our high college bullies weren’t very smart, but it still bothered me how much they teased him. I knew how it felt to be discriminated against. Before high college, I was the black sheep of the class with acne, a chubby body, and round glasses. I felt pressured to change who I was and became this conventionally sexy girl who wore makeup every day, starved herself, and never wore her glasses- which cost me a lot of bruises when I’d walk into walls. But Patrick…he never changed.

When I first spoke to him during our study break, one of the first things he asked me was, “You’re not doing this because you feel sorry for me, right?”

I lied right through my teeth, “No! Of course not!”

He saw right through the bullshit.

“You don’t need to lie. I know I’m a freak to them, but I don’t care. At least I’m not boring,” he swiped on his tablet to discover a manga to read, “They’re lame to always talk about me and have nothing to say about their own lives. You wanna read with me?”

We sat in the cafeteria reading together every break since then, and from there I learned he was part of the anime club, and from there I met his best friends: Robin and Caspian. In a matter of weeks, I went from a try-hard trendy girl to embracing my true self. Patrick and I spent 4 wonderful years together as high college sweethearts, but we never made Love until after we graduated.

“Sara…what are you doing?”

We were cuddling in his bed one night while we tried to watch a movie but being so close to him made me notice how much he had matured. His round face had finally chiseled and the mustache he wanted so badly Freshman year had arrived tenfold, completely bushy with a beard and sideburns attached. My sweet woodsman, I would joke.

You wouldn’t think he’d be such a sensitive guy, and it made me happy to know his true self. I planted kisses on his face and chest and rubbed his penis over his boxers. I moaned when I felt pre cum through the fabric.

Patrick was blushing so hard but leaned into my touch and grabbed onto my shoulder, “Wait…I don’t wanna cum yet. Not like this.” He threw away the blanket covering the two of us, laid me down on my back and said, “Let me take care of you…”

I told him I loved him five times that night.

But now, he’s dead.

“Over a stupid drunk driver!” Robin slammed her drink on the table. She wiped her tears away with her sleeve and said, “I can’t believe you’re not angry right now.”

“I am,” I said, “It’s just hard for me to show my emotions.”

“You’re better than me, because I’m known for showing off ALL my feelings!”

I kept in touch with Robin after Patrick died. She was a good person. A little eccentric, but a good person. I only cried that night when I got the phone call, and a little tear went down my cheek when I was told it’d be a closed casket, but nothing more. Robin invited me for drinks afterwards.

“Do you want me to stay over? We could play some games, watch a movie…”

I shook my head dismissively, “No, I’d rather just be alone.”

“We could also, you know…” Robin lowered her voice, “Call him again.”

I loved my boyfriend, but that was the last thing I wanted to do.

Something you should know about our friend group: we’re weirdos. We were into anything the ordinary kids weren’t into and that included the occult. Caspian was the one who introduced it to us, and when I told him Patrick died, he came up with the idea to call for him. He had a Ouija board at his house, and he drove down to meet me and Robin to perform a séance. With this ritual, we’d be able to contact Patrick from the dead.

Caspian conducted the séance. We all had our hands on the planchette.

“Are we currently speaking with Patrick Sexton?”

Our hands gravitated towards the YES option on the board.

“Patrick, this is Caspian speaking. I am with Sara and Robin. Do you know who we are?”

Our hands stayed on the YES. I heard Robin swallow.

“Can I ask a question?” I said. Caspian nodded. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Patrick, are you in any pain?” Our hands lingered on the YES for a few seconds before gradually moving to the opposite end of the board.

“I sensed hesitation,” Caspian muttered, “Patrick…are you at peace?”

Our hands stayed put.

“These are such obvious answers to simple questions,” Robin said, “I was hoping for something more complex.”

“Then ask it if you’d like,” Caspian replied.

Robin sighed and let her own tears flow down her cheeks, “…Who killed you?”

“Robin!” I yelled, pulling my hand away from the planchette.

“What?! You don’t wanna know?”

“That’s not appropriate! I’m sure we’ll figure it out soon.”

“But I wanna know who murdered him so I can kill that son-of-a-bitch myself!”

“Girls please,” Caspian butted in, “I think it’s best if we end this today. We could always try again another time.”

I wondered that would be the end of it. We did our little séance, and it would help bring some kind of peace to my heart and it did- for a few days. But the night before the funeral, I wondered I was dreaming about him. Those familiar feelings of arousal bubbling up in my stomach was haunting me.

I almost told him that I was too tired to play, but then I remembered he was gone. What I wasn’t prepared for was that even if he was dead, he was still living.

“Sara…”

“What the fuck?” I whipped my head around, thinking the voices were coming from inside my closet, “Where are you?!”

“Sara…I Love you.”

His voice was so clear, it was like he was speaking directly into my ears, but that was impossible. I called out to him, asking where he was, too afraid to get up and check the closet for myself, but the response I got was inhuman.

I was flipped onto my stomach, Ass high in the air, and without anybody physically present, I felt my asshole widen to make room for a 10-inch cock.

I clawed at the sheets crying for help, but the invisible force pushed my face into the pillow and made me groan into them as I was getting Ass fucked by nothing. My panties were still on, my pajama shorts too but going off physical touch alone, I was being sodomized.

I could feel his hands holding my hips in place and the veins in his cock pulsate when he’d take a breather inside my hole. It was astounding.

I reached up to fondle my breast, knowing that’s the key that would help me cum regardless of the circumstances. Patrick knew that too, something had to be stimulating my nipples so I could cum on his dick.

Moaning into the bed, I said his name and yelled, “Holy shit, I’m Cumming!”

What would have been a gift at the end of our lovemaking was turned into sheer horror when I felt the rush of his cum fill my asshole.

No matter the location or the time, Patrick’s ghost would fuck me. At his funeral, I was hunched over while his mother was speaking about how great of a son he was. He sure was great at eating me out because I could feel his tongue sucking on my clit.

Robin rubbed my back telling me it was gonna be alright. She wondered I was having terrible cramps, but I didn’t have the balls to tell her the truth, even as we had drinks later that night. I could’ve told her I didn’t want to call him again because since then he’s been inside of my body, screwing it whenever he wanted to. But I was afraid.

It would go on to happen on a train, at a wedding, at a live studio audience. I took a year off college in the hopes that this would all go away, but it seemed to get worse. Now it’s July, and I don’t want to wait any longer to begin school. I decided community school would be best for me since it’d be near home, less money, and I wouldn’t feel obligated to hang out with people as much and risk my secret being revealed.

Patrick and I were at all times together when he was alive. But now that he’s dead, I couldn’t stand him.

I needed to get help.

Caspian picked up the phone immediately when he saw my name.

“Sara! How are you doing? Everything okay?” he already sounded concerned.

“Hey umm, remember when we did the séance last year?”

“Yeah”

“Okay. Because I think something went wrong…”

Caspian and I weren’t very close like he was with Patrick. You could describe him as that guy who could’ve fit in with any clique in high college, yet he chose us. He was at all times loyal to us. Even though we weren’t speaking much after that ritual- just sending memes back and forth- he still drove down to see me and make sure I was okay.

“I’m surprised I’m the first one you told and not Robin,” was Caspian’s initial reaction when I addressed my strange issue.

“Robin is a wildcard,” I sighed, “I don’t know whether she’d have my back or tell me I’m going crazy with grief, and I’m just not ready to deal with it.”

“Yeah, I get it, but I believe you,” Caspian took his Ouija board out of his backpack, “Hopefully, reaching out to him will help fix things.”

The two of us performed the séance again, this time with a plan.

Our mission: Send Patrick’s spirit out of my body.

“Are we currently speaking with Patrick Sexton?”

YES

“This is Caspian speaking. I am with Sara. Do you know who we are?”

YES

“Are you in any pain?”

…NO

“Are you at peace?”

NO

Looking at those bold black letters, I found myself frowning deeply. After all this time, his soul was still suffering. I wanted to speak up, but Caspian told me not to.

“Last time, everyone had a chance to talk, but I think that’s where I went wrong,” his face looked full of guilt, “I’m the one who controls the conversation. Any questions you have could be said through me.”

Sadly, I nodded, “That makes sense…Could you tell him this then?”

I whispered my question thinking that wouldn’t disturb the process.

Caspian shut his eyes and directed his attention to the spirit world, “Patrick, are you inside of Sara at this time?”

The planchette was stagnant.

“I…I don’t get it,” I said. I took my hand away and jumped up, shaking it like I had touched a Hot stove, “I could hear him. I swear to God. Every day, I hear his voice!”

“Have you considered another possibility?” Caspian approached me, sensing my fear, “Maybe the Patrick you knew and the one inside you aren’t the same.”

“But…”

“I’m not saying he’s not your boyfriend,” Caspian stressed, “Just that we are unaware of what the spirit endures after death, but I would think as a spirit, one would be all-knowing and powerful. That would mean he was kind to you now, but knowing he could treat you as he wants with no consequences…maybe he’s-“

The planchette shifted. We heard it move and looked at the board.

YES

My breathing was getting quicker when I grabbed Caspian’s arm, “I can’t do this…”

“It’s okay,” he replied, “I’ll pack it up, but let’s say goodbye first.”

We sat back down to close off our session with Patrick’s ghost.

“My dear friend, Patrick Sexton, we thank you for your time and presence at our table. Sara and I wish you everlasting peace in the afterlife and grant us blessings that someday we too will be where you are in Heaven or Heaven equivalent.”

My stomach churned once he finished talking, and it blossomed into a Hot sensation that was spreading through my body. “Cas…”

“Hmm?”

“It’s happening again…”

Ecstasy has become my worst fear. I’m Patrick’s ragdoll when I’m Horny, thrown left and right for his entertainment. I Love him, but I’ve also become afraid of him.

“You need to leave!”

“You don’t want me to help?”

“You CAN’T help!” I yelled, “If what we just did wasn’t successful, then what else could we do?” I got down on my knees and shuddered, “Oh fuck!”

My friend’s face started losing its color, realizing how serious this truly was. He wondered he knew, but when he saw it for himself, that’s when it really sank in. Caspian stumbled when rushing to fold up his Ouija board and shove it in his bag, blowing out the candles, and turning on the lights. He threw the bag far away from us, but not before grabbing a small vial he kept in a pocket. He removed the cap and started splashing it on me.

If I told Robin that Caspian threw holy water on me screaming, “The power of Christ compels you!” while I writhed over the floor, she’d have a laughing fit.

Patrick wasn’t letting go of me though. He felt stronger, his dick pumping in and out of my Pussy with infinite stamina. My legs were wide open and bent off the floor while I wanted to cover my face in shame.

He wouldn’t let me. He kept my arms spread open so Caspian could witness my full degradation.

Caspian wasn’t afraid, nor did he look disgusted with me. When he completed the vial, he ran to my side and took my hand.

“I don’t know what to do, Sara…,” he trembled, “But I’ll be with you all the way.”

I wanted to tell him thank you, but when I opened my mouth Patrick stuffed his cock in there too, with his cock also invading my Pussy. That would’ve never been efficient when he was alive. Caspian kept his eyes closed but was unable to block out the sounds of my gagging, crying, and eventually Cumming.

I took a warm bath afterwards, scrubbing deep around my private areas. The only cum I could feel was my own. Patrick, though at all times Cumming in me, never left evidence of his crime– which made my ordeal even more confusing to explain to people. At least Caspian understood.

He waited for me at my bedroom desk, sitting quietly, probably wrapping his head around what he just experienced. When I came out, I could sense that he wanted to remain indifferent to me to not add on any trauma, but he blushed upon finding me in my white tank top and fluffy pink shorts. My dark hair was wet and curly, retracting up to my shoulders and with the heat of the bath, my cheeks made me look like I was blushing at him too.

“Do you wanna watch something?” I said.

“Sure”

We binged a season of MoonPhase and argued about the plot. Caspian ranted that the lead character, Celeste, shouldn’t have the ability to time travel without the magical moon rock while I argued that she could because her Love for Dr. Rocket could go beyond the grand order’s rules.

“Besides, I think Dr. Rocket was born on the moon.”

“Get the fuck outta here!”

“It makes sense though, doesn’t it?!”

We shared popcorn Caspian made in my microwave and a couple of sodas. We stayed snuggled up together for hours, then we took a nap. When I woke up, it was thunder storming outside.

“Cas…” I mumbled, opening my eyes to his hairy chest in my face. I lightly tugged on one of the hairs. It woke Caspian; while wiping the drool off his chin he said, “What time is it?”

“7 p.m”

“Damn…didn’t think I’d stay that long.”

“I know you wanted to leave earlier.”

“No, I could stay the night,” Caspian said, “I like it here. If you don’t mind…”

For the first time since my boyfriend passed away, there was a fluttering in my heart that didn’t make me feel afraid. I looked into Caspian’s eyes which were such a bright blue that they could pierce into your soul. But I wasn’t scared. Being with him didn’t make me scared anymore. I smiled warmly at my friend, “Stay as long as you like.”

An hour later, I was on the phone with Robin, showing her through video chat that Caspian was sleeping at my house for the night.

“If I knew he was coming, I would’ve been there ASAP!”

“Would you really?” a second girl popped into Robin’s frame.

Robin rolled her eyes, “Well, if it didn’t interrupt our date.”

“I would say the rainstorm already did that for you guys,” Caspian said.

“Not really!” the second girl grinned, “We spent the day at the mall. We’re just now leaving!”

“Yeah, no raindrops are going to kill this Love!” Robin kissed her date on the cheek.

“Eww” I said.

“Don’t be jealous. I’ll text you later, okay?”

We waved goodbye and Caspian and I went on to reminisce on better days. He was especially fond of the memories he had with my boyfriend, how he and Patrick would help with club events and try to bulk up to get more muscular bodies. Caspian said Patrick beat him in that department.

“Yeah, we were bros in every way…Sara?” Caspian caught me crying, “Is this too much for you?”

“No, I want you to bring him up. I’d rather that than forget him,” I sniffed, “but it’s not even about Patrick. I just think…we all had such bright futures and his was cut short, and mines…I feel like I’m in so much pain.”

“Sara…”

“Patrick and I wanted to go to university, but that’s impossible now. He’s dead and I’m…like this! How stupid would I look having uncontrollable orgasms in class?!”

Caspian hugged me. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry…” he whispered, “When he passed, I didn’t know what to do with myself. When I saw how beat up he was, it was so traumatizing. I couldn’t believe that was him. I thought if we did the séance that would give you some peace, but I’m a liar, I did it more for myself!”

I leaned back to look Caspian in the eyes, “It’s okay, we can all be a little selfish sometimes, right?”

“But my selfishness started this whole thing, with you being haunted by him. If I had left you alone, you could’ve grieved properly like you deserve.”

Caspian was there when I was having my breakdown earlier, and I wanted to return the favor. I took his hand in mine and said, “There’s no telling what would’ve happened if you didn’t intervene. You didn’t plan on this happening either, so I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault.”

My friend gave me a longing expression, one that a guy probably shouldn’t give to their dead friend’s ex. “There’s so much I wanted to tell you, Sara. About that night, but I covered it up with some stupid ritual. I ruined your life…” My hands went up to his face and wiped away his tears with my thumbs, “No Cas, if anything, you’re saving it.”

There was a lot of build-up before me and Patrick had our first time. We had a first kiss, went on several dates, grinded against one another like the Horny teenagers we were. But none of that happened with me and Caspian.

I never even saw Caspian in that way before, but I was so desperate for a touch that didn’t mean me any harm. A lover who would respect my boundaries again. Somebody that I trusted.