He was satisfied with the pictures and said they would work well; I was just supposed to do my part and make sure I asked him which to wear before I saw him. The following days consisted of the daily pictures with his responses and more getting to know each other; he didn’t vote in 2016, he didn’t want to get married or have kids, and he wanted to join the police force, even though at the time he was a paramedic. And with every single correspondence, I couldn’t help but think I was so incredibly lucky just to have him texting me, let alone actually be something to him. While I hadn’t done a ton of drugs in my life, his attention was definitely the strongest drug I’d experienced.

Seeing him wasn’t super easy, since he lived over an hour away and my parents couldn’t know I was seeing someone. He wanted to come back the next week to see me, to “more thoroughly try out the equipment” he said (and I hated how much I loved it). We chose a weekday that I was off and could slip away while my mother was at work.

That morning, he sent me two pictures for my outfit: my black and pink tie-dye panties and my black floral dress–no bra. Shoes didn’t matter this time and makeup was requested. I was still getting dressed when he arrived, but he kept me waiting the first time so this made it even, I thought.

I texted him that I was on my way out, and he said to get in the back seat. My heart jumped because it was an odd request and, let’s be honest, anything he said made my heart do shit. I felt his eyes on me as soon as I walked out the front door and they followed me all the way to his car, except once I got in they watched me from the rearview mirror, which was somehow more intense than if he had just looked right at me. The divider was gone, so the contact was unbroken.

As soon as I was settled, he turned around and looked me over. He nodded in approval. “Good, like I asked.”

I just nodded, because I couldn’t risk him hearing my voice shake.

He faced front and pulled away from the curb, driving away from my house and to yet another unknown destination.

“Take your tits out,” he said, watching me in the mirror again.

My face heated, my eyes widened, and I looked from him to the windshield. I knew I couldn’t say no, but what was I supposed to say then? The windshield was darkly tinted, as were the windows, but it was broad fucking daylight.

He looked from me to the road a few times before his eyebrows raised. Out of fear, my hands moved to the neckline of the dress and did as he wanted. I was sitting back in the seat, trying to stay low enough that a car coming straight on wouldn’t see me.

“Sit up,” he said. I met his gaze in the mirror and my eyes pleaded with him, but his jaw clenched. “Now.”

I wanted to keep up the brat persona but I also didn’t want to fuck up my chances since this was still relatively new. And I was scared shitless.

I sat forward with my dress pulled under my tits like he wanted, and the look of smug satisfaction on his face would’ve pissed me off… had it been anyone else. He adjusted his jeans at the crotch and they were tight enough that I now had a good idea of what I was working with, which gave me a nice little burst of motivation to do exactly as he asked. The car slowed to a stop at a red light at an intersection I knew and I looked around at where we were.

“Can I ask where we’re going?” I said.

“No,” he said as he turned around and grabbed one breast to squeeze hard. I flinched slightly before I could stop myself which made him squeeze even harder. He smirked and turned back around as the light turned green. For maybe five minutes, we drove in silence with his eyes going between me in the mirror and the road. I tried to stare back but I was relieved every time he looked away so I could, too.

We came to a more private road with office buildings at one end. Once he got there, he turned around and pulled over about halfway between the last parked car and the entrance to the road–maybe one hundred feet front and back.

He climbed out of the front just to get into the back with me and take off his jacket. I faced him as he threw it onto the front seat and grabbed me by the throat. His Free hand pushed my legs apart and ran up under the skirt to pull my panties down enough to shove two fingers in, causing me to gasp involuntarily.

“Already soaking wet,” he said with the smug smirk he wore so often. He took both hands back and unzipped his jeans, pulling them to his knees with his blue boxers. He yanked my underwear off and grabbed the back of my head to push me down so my mouth was next to his cock. Without him saying a word, I took it and tried to imitate whatever I did last time but he stopped me after only a minute by pulling my hair back so I was laying down again. His hand let go of my hair and wrapped around my neck as he guided himself into me and it slid in so perfectly we both moaned.

He watched me, as each thrust got harder and his grip tightened, and my hands held his wrist without trying to pull it away.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he breathed. I smiled a little and bit my lip, and earned a tighter grip on my throat thanks to my obvious pride as I felt him pulse inside me. I moaned a little extra to make him cum, but he pulled away and sat up.

“Flip over,” he said, and I quickly obliged. He pulled my hips up and pushed himself in with a hard thrust as I gripped the seat under me, grunting with each thrust as, I can only imagine, he managed to hit my cervix. A part of me wanted to beg him to stop from pain, but the bigger part of me wanted to do whatever I had to to make sure he kept going. Now I understood what “good pain” was.

He pulled out just as he came hard, sitting back as he finished on my Ass.

We stayed like that for a minute as our breathing slowed and we realized how Hot it was in the car. He pushed the door by my head open enough to get fresh air circulating and reached over the front seat to grab something, a plastic bag. Then I felt a towel wiping his mess off of me and I chuckled.

“Good thinking,” I said, turning back to see him stuffing the towel back into the bag.

“I said no kids and I meant it,” he said, half joking.

“That’s what the pill is for,” I responded, but then laughed after seeing his concerned facial expression and said, “I’m kidding.”

He smiled lightly. “That card has been pulled on me more times than I would like to admit.”

My jaw dropped. “Shit, really?”

“Oh yeah. Eventually I just accepted I couldn’t trust anyone with something like that.”

I thought about our past conversations regarding partners and realized something. “How many people have you slept with?”

He pulled his pants and boxers back up, thinking. “I don’t remember the exact number but almost one hundred.”

My eyes widened. “Are you serious? Actually… Nevermind, I’m not surprised.”

His eyebrows raised. “Really now?”

I nodded with a thoughtful smile. He was silent as he pulled his shirt back on, so I took the time to get myself back together.

He opened the door on his side and got out, grabbing his jacket and putting it on. “I’ve set one hundred as a kind of goal. I don’t want to say bucket list, but it is something I want to accomplish.”

“Well early congrats,” I said, “for when it does happen.” I felt a bit of sadness learning this about him, because it made me feel less important. I mean, I knew I wasn’t super important to him, but that was just a lot of girls that were probably never on his mind, which meant how was I supposed to expect myself to be on his mind? Especially when looking at him, I can only imagine what some of them looked like.

This led me to a new, sadder thought: Does he have no standards? Did he see my message when I swiped and knew I’d be an easy number on his list?

He got into the driver seat and said, “you can sit up here now.” He moved the bag with the towel to the floor to clear the seat and I took it, trying to make sure my face wasn’t displaying my despair.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand frozen on the key in the ignition.

A recent lesson I learned was that I’d rather do something and regret doing it than regret not doing it at all. So I asked, “have you actually cared for every one of those girls?”

“Of course, I don’t just fuck anyone,” he said, almost offended I’d thought such nonsense. I didn’t say anything as the engine started and he started driving. “You’re wondering ‘why you’, right?”

I looked down and my cheeks heated. “Maybe,” I said sheepishly.

“You really have no confidence at all, don’t you?” he asked. “You’re very attractive for starters, and I’m really into the whole punk-goth thing you got going on. And you’re funny, probably one of the funnier subs I’ve had. And I’m sure there are a ton of other things that I’ll learn while I own you.”

I didn’t say anything as I pondered that and he drove.

His voice made me jump when he asked, “Do you have a safeword?”

“Not really, I never had to think about that,” I said, cautiousness taking over where the sadness was.

“Next time we are together it will be at my house and you should have a safeword prepared.” A million possibilities ran through my head as he pulled up to my house in the exact spot he got me from. It was funny to think about how clueless I was only an hour or so ago on the same sidewalk; once again, I couldn’t have guessed our meeting would go that way but I was so happy it did.

“Is it safe?” he asked, referring to my parental secrecy.

I looked at the time. “Should be.” I looked back to him and sighed lightly.

“I’ll see you soon,” he said, almost reassuringly. I was already sickeningly attached and he knew it. He took my chin between his index finger and thumb and brought my lips to his for a kiss so gentle I didn’t think he was capable of, especially after what he just did to me. He pulled away after a few seconds to kiss my forehead. “I promise.”

You can’t do that, I thought. I shook it from my mind, smiling at him and nodding. “Text me when you’re home.”

“I will,” he said, sitting back and gazing at me as I got out of the car. I walked away and didn’t look back until I was at my door, at which point he was still watching and drove off. I hurried inside just in case anyone on the block saw me and went to my room to change and Shower. I took everything off but stopped when I got to the soaked thong. I held it for a second before shaking my head in disbelief.

I cannot believe that actually just happened, I thought. That was really all I could think for the rest of the night into the next day. That, and how unbelievably lucky I was to be on that list even if it was a hundred names long.