(Back story: Loosely based on a guy I met, fell for him and wanted to be with him. Alas, it didn’t really happen, but in this story, this is what I envisioned it would be like. That’s why it’s called What Could’ve Been)

“Wait! I don’t want to go home yet. Can I spend the rest of the night before you go to sleep?” I bravely asked.

He smiled. “Sure.”

So, I grabbed my bag really quick and locked the door. He waited for me as I walked fast back to him. I’m so glad he said it was okay. We had some small chat as we went to the grocery store in my local shopping center. He did say he was just gonna get a box of Lunchables even though we did eat a protein box that contained some hummus, crackers and veggies together not too long ago.

We walked side by side as we mentioned to each other how his Lunchables brings back memories for me. To him, he agreed but I knew that he knew I was older than him and so he grinned. “I don’t mind it at all. It’s the protein I need anyway,” he said, as he grabbed a dollar bottle water near the front. I decided to get one too since I was sort of thirsty.

He checked his items out but then he grabbed my drink. “Hey!” I cried out.

“It’s okay. It’s just bottled water. I can buy it for you. Don’t worry.”

“But you just got me my tea and some of the food earlier in Starbucks.”

“I got you, Kaylyn. Besides, I’m glad I got to spend some more time with you. Glad you asked me. I don’t want this night to end either, especially with you.” He paused for a moment and realized what he just said, his eyes bulged out a little bit.

“Oh really? I feel honored,” I beamed. My smile was so big as I looked at him. He looked at me and smiled, as he finished buying our stuff. “Thanks again, Ryan.”

“You’re welcome. Let’s go back to my van then.” He walked a bit forward but then stopped so I can keep up with him. We walked out as he gave me my water. I tried to open it since it was wet from being in the standing fridge display as we walked closer to his van. He noticed me trying to open it.

“Here, let me do that. We’re almost there.” We got to his van, and he opened the front door, as he put his stuff down. He opened my bottle and gave it back to me.

“Thanks,” I sighed as I sipped a little bit.

“Um… I’m going to drive towards the Art’s Hardware Store since it’s pretty lit there and I thought I’d park there to get some sleep. Do you want to meet me there and hang out before I go to sleep? I don’t mind,” he said nonchalantly.

I gulped. Wow…Oops, I just realized that I had said that out loud. I laughed. He laughed. “Sure, I’m glad you don’t mind. I’ll beat you to it. If you win, you can kick me out any time before you’re supposed to sleep. If I do, I’m going to sing you a lullaby before you go to sleep…” What the heck? That’s not torture. I don’t know. But his reaction was classic.

“What? Aww, you’re on.” He laughed as I laughed as I ran to my door and unlocked it. I quickly got everything started. But since Ryan parked next to me, he had a better begin. He started to drive as I grunted. Darn Ryan! I barely put on my glasses as I got out of the parking lot as he was a minute ahead of me. It didn’t help that the road I’m going on wasn’t good for my car. The slight incline on Browns Valley Road didn’t help. I tried to rev up my car a bit more, but he was still ahead of me until we hit the light together. He was in front of me, so he drove closer to our destination. But then he veered to another entrance, and I drove to the first one. I didn’t know where exactly he was gonna park but I took my chance and decided to park in the right corner on the side of where the gates of Art’s Hardware covered the store. He slowly parked right next to me.

My mouth felt like it was gonna drop. He was ahead of me but he barely parked. I was surprised. I opened my door as I took my keys and bag then locked it. “I thought you were going to win. You cheated. No, you let me win, didn’t you? You really want me to sing you a lullaby then?” I asked, as he got out of the van and walked towards me. He started to laugh.

“Sure, if you say so, Kaylyn. Either way, you win. So that means I get to hear your voice and I can’t kick you out anytime. So, you’re staying with me until 11, then. Didn’t you tell me you like to sing? I’m curious.” He grabbed me all of a sudden.

“Umm what are you doing?” I asked, as he pulled me in the van.

“Well, you did ask if you wanted to stay the rest of the night before I sleep. So, let’s go,” he said, as he opened his van.

“True,” I said, as I let him hold my arm still.

He jumped in as he let go. He faced me again as I saw him light up the van somewhere. “Take my hand. I can help you up.”

I took his hand as I grabbed on to the handle of the van. It literally unlocked from its locked position when he pulled me, and the van door closed. I literally tripped in and almost fell into his arms. But I did because I found myself on the floor of the van on the edge of a large open bed and on top of him, well almost. We were at an awkward spot. We both fell halfway with part of our bodies on the bottom part of his mattress bed. It was actually nice and firm. I started to laugh, that’s all I could do.

He laughed. “Are you okay?” he managed to ask while laughing.

“I’m okay. But are you? I mean, I literally almost fell on top of you. This is a nice bed. It’s very firm,” I said, as I tried to get up. It was way too firm actually. Part of my body melded into the mattress and so was his. He grabbed me and pulled me back down on the bed but in a better position.

“I’m okay now. Lullaby? Silly lady!” he laughed, as he pushed me slightly as we laid on the bed.

“I know you’re not a baby, but I had no other choice of torture, I guess. You’re the silly one, letting me win.” I pushed nudged and him this time.

“Hey, ow!” He cried out but was clearly playing when he laughed. He sat up and took off his sweater. He was just wearing a thin black ribbed tank top underneath.

“Yeah right. I’m not that strong even with your bulging biceps,” I said, as I looked at him as I sat up. I was enamored by his somewhat bulging biceps and kept looking at them. I felt like I wanted to touch them. I did.

“They’re not that bulging,” he laughed, as he noticed me touching his bicep. I quickly stopped myself.

“Sorry. They’re pretty nice to look at though.”

“Okay. Thanks, I guess. So, are you going to sing to me? I want to hear your voice. You did say that you liked to sing. So, sing…” He looked at me as I composed myself. I looked at him face to face. Then he laid back down as I looked down on him as if he was the baby.

“LOL okay, big baby.” I knew what song to sing. But I decided to do a back story.

“Have you ever seen Dumbo the movie?”

“Yes, a long time ago. Why?” as he relaxed and put his arm under his head. His armpit was showing and had a patch of hair underneath.

“Well, this song is similar to the song that Dumbo’s mom sang to him. Plus, it was also sung by Bette Midler who was in a movie called Beaches, a total chick flick that has a sad story.”

“Wait, I know that movie. I’ve heard of her. She has a great voice. Please go on. What’s the song called? I forgot. Go ahead and sing it. I’m all ears but I could fall asleep though.”

“Okay. It’s called, Baby mine,” I cleared my voice, as I continued, “Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart never to part. Baby of mine…. Little one, when you play. Pain no heed what they say. Let your eyes sparkle and shine never a tear, baby of mine. If they knew all about you, they’d end up loving you too…. All those same people who scold you, what they hear just for the right to hold you…. From your head down to your toes. You’re not much goodness know. But you’re so precious to me, Sweet as can be, baby of mine.”

I finished the song as I felt a bit drowsy myself. His eyes were drowsy as well, as he smiled. “That was wonderful. You have a beautiful voice. I fell almost asleep. You look sleepy too.”

“Yeah, but then that means I have to go,” I said as I laid down next to him and faced him as I put my hand under my head and propped myself up with my elbow. We faced each other. I felt a bit sad all of a sudden knowing I might not see him ever again.

“Then don’t. I said that I wouldn’t kick you out if you won. Technically, you won. So, stay. I’m not kicking you out.”

“Until when?” I asked.

“I don’t care. I try to fall asleep at about 11ish,” he said, as he looked at his watch. “It’s barely 10:15 PM. You have plenty of things to do to torture… oh I mean spend time with me.”

` He laughed. I laughed too and then gulped. I moved my head and lay face up to see the top of his van as I was taking in what he said. I breathed in deeply. I literally was lying on a bed next to Ryan. I closed my eyes as I wished this night wouldn’t end. My heart was beating faster as I felt scared, nervous and sad altogether.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he hovered over me a bit. He touched my cheek as a sign of him being worried. It was nice but it felt like torture. I realized that I really connected with him on another level. It was torture because I started to like him, and I’ve only seen him twice.

“I’m just here with you and I know I have to leave eventually,” I said, as he let go of his left hand from my face but instead, he took my right hand and held it. He intertwined his fingers with mine as I let him. Him holding my hand didn’t make it any better. It was nice that we held hands. He still hovered over me, looking at me intensely.

“Don’t leave Kaylyn,” he whispered in my ear. I gently felt a tickle in my ear as I felt him talk to me like that.

“I like it when you say my name,” I acknowledged him as I did Love how he said my name each time. He smiled at me as I did to him. He makes me feel all gooey and comfortable. Then he did something that was pleasantly surprising to me. First, Ryan let go of my hand and then tilted my head towards him, as he moved his head down at me and kissed my lips. It was soft and gentle as he opened my lips with his tongue. I moaned as I touched his face and then the back of his neck. He looked at me longingly and then he kissed me again but more passionately. I opened my mouth enough to say…

“Mmmm. Ryan…” I replied as I purred.

I felt him get closer as he moved on top of me. He nudged my legs aside as I moved my body quickly up more so that I was more comfortable. I missed kissing so much. But this one felt different from every guy I had ever kissed. It was gentle but sexy with his lips lightly sucking my lips as I did the same. His tongue swirled underneath my lips as I touch his tongue with mine. We switched sucking each other’s lips slowly, gently and passionately.

Then Ryan grabbed my body and pushed me down again as I pulled my body up further into the bed. I let all my inhibitions go as he kept touching my face then my neck. He kissed my neck. Then he pulled up my blouse a bit as he kissed my belly. I almost cried out.

“Ohhhh…” I moaned. He went back up to me. His body fell on top of me as his legs went in between mine again and he bent my knees. They were so wobbly as he touched my lips with his fingers before he kissed them again.

“Kaylyn, I didn’t know you are a good kisser,” he managed to say. His eyes looked sexy underneath the low light and then he looked hard into my eyes.

“Mmmm… only you made it better,” I said, as he looked at me and grinned. I touched his neck as he grunted. Then I felt something in between my legs. His member was hard next to my upper thigh. It almost made me sigh out loud.

“Tell me to stop, if you want to. But I don’t want you to say that. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t had this feeling ever.” He stopped talking and kissed me deeper again as he grabbed my lower back and nudged in me harder. He growled as I grabbed his lower back.

“Don’t stop!” I managed to say, as I let go of his lips.

Our lips molded into each other’s mouths. It wasn’t rushed nor was it sloppy. It was like they were meant to fit in perfectly like hands to a glove. Kissing was one of the best things to do and doing it with Ryan made me just melt in his arms. I touched his back, my hand underneath his tank top. He growled harder that he took a hand of his underneath my blouse and rubbed my belly slowly but softly. He reached my bra and hooked his fingers underneath the wire.

Once he touched my chest, my nipples started to harden so badly. I couldn’t believe it felt so good as he just touched the bottom of my breasts. Then he moved his hand to unhook my bra. It was hard at first, but he got it off and got easier access to my breasts. It was so Hot and steamy. I think the windows were fogged from our steamy kissing session.

Then he tugged at my blouse as I let him pull it off. I threw off my bra as he grinned at me. “Mm luscious lips, nice big breasts…. What a nice combination. Your nipples are small but damn I can see them get hard. Here let me help you.”

He then started kissing and licking them as he swirled his tongue on my teats. It almost made me cry out in ecstasy.

He didn’t stop. He kept on making my breasts taut and then he started to touch my crotch on cue. He rubbed it fast while I was still wearing my pants. Then, I felt him reach under my pants and under my pink panties. I felt his fingers touch my mound as I cried out. Then he found my inner core and touched everything. I knew I was wet and then he confirmed it. “Damn baby. You’re soaking wet.”

“MMM yes. If you’re going to do that more, you’re going to make me come and I can come multiple times, Oh baby… Oh Ryan…” I cried out, as he circled my breasts with his lips and found my nubble of ecstasy with his fingers. I was on the verge of crying out loud. I haven’t had this feeling in a long time with someone else. I couldn’t contain myself. I was gonna scream.

“AAAAHHHHHH…” He stopped as he went to my mouth and covered my lips to muffle my cries as he kept on rubbing me there. He was fully on top of me again, trying to pull my bottoms and underwear down.

He muffled me with kisses as he passionately kissed me as I cried out. He stopped all of a sudden. He looked at me like a voracious animal wanting to eat me up. “Multiples times? Really? Let’s test it out.”

“Whaattt??? Test it out? What do you mean?” I asked as he fully undressed me. Then he went down and opened my legs. “Wait. I don’t like my legs. Don’t look at them. They don’t look right. Forget this. I am ashamed of my legs.”

He looked at them. “Aw poor baby. I see what you mean. It’s okay. I still Love you and your body. You’re beautiful and I think I am in Love with you. Is that possible even though we just met two weeks ago? I’ve enjoyed our night so far and now I’ve seen everything about you. Funny, beautiful, smart… That makes me want you even more. I think… No… I am SO… in Love… with you, Kaylyn,” he said, as he went on top of me as he looked me intensely in my eyes. He looked like he was in earnest, as his deep dark brown eyes started dilating in front of me.

“I am in Love with you too, Ryan. I think I started to fall in Love with you while we were fully clothed and having a good time in Starbucks,” I giggled softly. “I’ve never been so comfortable with a man like you in a long time. No, I mean ever.”

“Me too. But with a woman of course,” he said, he chuckled softly. We laughed together. Then he kissed and hugged me tight when I felt him hard on top of me, still the only one naked. He realized that too as he touched my naked body. Then he went down as he kissed my neck and then my belly. He touched my bottom as he rubbed my tits. Then he rubbed my clit as he opened my legs. “Damn… this looks so good enough to eat.”

“What?” I cried out, as he opened me wide.

He started to rub my clit as he flicked his tongue on there. I cried out. He kept on going as he pushed in his one finger in my hole. I stiffened all of a sudden. I haven’t had anything in there in a while and he was fingering me as he rubbed and licked me. I was writhing in ecstasy. I couldn’t close my legs as he was eating me up with his tongue and fingers. I cried out again. I felt like I was gonna come again. I think that was the point.

“Oh Ryan. I’m going to come!” I cried out but I bit my lip, so I wasn’t so loud. I moaned as I felt my legs wobbly. He kept on going as he gently stretched my opening with his fingers and his tongue on my clit. I cried out again.

“Ohhhhhh… Yes…. That feels so good. I’m going to come.” I cried out, as he stopped licking me and closed my mouth.

“Shh… babe. I want to make Love to you,” he said, as he stopped. He stripped off his tank top and then pulled off his pants and boxers. He scrambled to look for something.

“I don’t know if we should do this. I do want you to make Love to me but in a van?” I asked, as I wide open naked in front of him. I could see his thickness and it was almost erect. I knew he was already aroused but how can I stop this when I wanted it too… I gulped. I haven’t had Sex in almost 6 years and my first in a long time would be in a van. I’ve never had Sex in a vehicle but then I felt all wet again thinking of the naughtiness of the situation.

“Sweetie, I don’t know. I haven’t had Sex in almost six years. Don’t you think we should slow down a bit,” I tried to tell him.

“Six years?” he asked, as he looked up at me. I nodded.

“I don’t want to do this so quickly, but I do Love you.” I added.

“I Love you too. The more reason I want to make Love to you, baby. Six years has been long enough for you. I want to be here to help you see that it’s not just Sex anymore. I want to make Love to you. First, let me look for something.” He looked near the front seats, still fully naked in front of me.

It was true. I wanted this as much as I did with him and to confess our Love to each other would be amazing to have it with someone I actually loved. Not even with my ex. I think too hard at such silly things.

“Damn it. I can’t find that box of condoms. I usually don’t have one, but I was hoping to make Love to you tonight and I’m naked,” he laughed. I laughed too.

Then I wondered, why does he have a box of condoms? Did he really intend to make Love to me tonight? I looked around near my head and saw a plastic bag sticking underneath the bed. I got up as I opened it up. There it was. It was an unopened box of medium sized condoms, an open tin box of Altoids (my favorite breath mints), a packet of turkey jerky and a white box that looked a bit ominous. Then I saw two receipts. One was from a gas station with everything that was in the bag except the ominous white box; the price was barely $20. The other one was almost $200. Why was it almost $200? He didn’t notice that I found them as he bent down underneath the bed looking for it. His naked butt was in the air. I sort of chuckled at the sight of it. I put them back in the bag as I pushed it in further underneath the bed.

“Umm… condoms? I didn’t know you were planning to make Love to me that bad tonight.” I tried to be serious now. He looked up. His body was so exquisite in front of me, and this handsome young virile man wanted to make Love to me.

“Okay, I admit it. I did but I was a bit scared. I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way, but I hoped you did. I’m glad you did. I am in Love with you Kaylyn. But I don’t know if I can’t find it. Wait a minute. I think I remember where I put it.” He walked towards the side of the bed where I had found it earlier. He bent down and looked under the bed.

“AHA… Got it. But first, let me tell you something. I didn’t think about it until now when we’re both naked but first…. Let me do this.” He went towards his clothes and took out his phone. He was gonna take a picture of me! I was freaking out now.