Director:

I’d been working with Julia for years and usually we had no problems on set because she was a pro. 5 years in the business and at 29, she hadn’t aged a bit since I met her. She had beautiful black hair that was currently tied up in ponytail. She was curvy and soft in a way that indicated she enjoyed her life eating and doing what she wanted. She had a perfect body which was currently encased in a short red dress that was fitted around her bust with a deep V-neck and flared from her waist down. I knew underneath she was wearing a red lacy matching set of lingerie. Julia was so experienced and like I said we usually didn’t have any issues but today was an absolute trainwreck.

Eric was a new on the set. I had never worked with him before today. I mean I saw why he got the part. He had the look: light brown hair, fit (in a non-bodybuilder way), and somewhere in his late 20s to early 30s. I looked at the scene through my monitor where three of the camera angles were displayed. I’d never contemplated quitting more. Julia stood across from her counterpart. She glanced downward, timidly and Eric tried to place his hands on his hips menacingly.

“I want you to take off your dress now.” He says flatly and without giving her time to comply he shouts. “You heard me! Now!” I tried not to roll my eyes. It wasn’t that difficult. A simple, predictable Dom Sub shoot but it was the fifth time we were reshooting one scene. They hadn’t even fucked yet. I wanted to pull my hair off of my head. I might honestly opt to wax my head over watching their interaction. I cursed whatever I had done in my past to landed me here. Deciding I need a short break to temporarily end my suffering I called out, “And that’s a cut. Let’s take a break everyone and resume in five.”

Chatter starts immediately. Some people choose to grab refreshments or go to the bathroom. Julia, however, walks directly over to me.

“I’ll be lucky if I don’t need a drink before the day’s over, Frank.”

“What do you mean Julia?” I ask even though I can guess where she’s headed.

Julia glances at her ‘co-star’ confirming my suspicions.

“He doesn’t have it. The boy couldn’t make a blade of grass bend.”

“He’s not that bad.” I lie.

“Yeah, sure. We’ll see,” Julia pauses glancing back over to Eric who dropped a bottle of water, it narrowly missing some of the camera before spilling on the floor, some poor assistant rushes to clean it up. She exhaled angrily, “but after this is over, I’m speaking to casting because this is absolutely ridiculous.” Julia walks over to her mark indicating to everyone else’s that their break was over. I look up realizing everyone had scrambled back to their places.

“Alright, everybody ready?” I rubbed my forehead. I wasn’t. “Action!”

Julia wipes the scowl off of her face and looks at Eric timidly. Moving to push her dress off her shoulders.

“Wait! Stop there. I’ll handle that for you.” Eric says.

Julia pushes her straps back in place and stands there waiting. Almost as if he’s forgotten his last instruction Eric started thinking of what to say next.

“The script?” I heard someone mumbled behind me.

“This was the spot where he’s supposed to impov. Bet the writer regrets that.”

“Come to Daddy and I’ll fuck you like never before my little Love addict.” he said. Fuck. Of course, he had to prove me wrong. Or maybe he was proving me right? He wasn’t that bad. He was so much worse. Note to self: ‘my little Love addict’? Edit that line out. Julia seems to share my sentiments because she starts blinking really quickly without rolling her eyes but is clear to anyone who knows her that she irritated and trying to stay in character. Julia approaches Eric seductively and Eric over dramatizes a fake yawn to show his disinterest.

“You’re a stupid little slutty bitch aren’t you. You Love everything about me, don’t you?” How was I supposed to make this garbage work? Why me? I pinched the bridge of my nose. Julia however was unfazed. “Yes. I do.” she replied.

“What about my shoes? Do you Love my shoes?”

“Yes.” Julia replied.

“Why don’t you get closer to them?” Julia hesitantly bends down in front of Eric’s shoes.

“Lick them.”

Though it was improved Julia was supposed to look surprised by whatever he requested and as per the script Eric bends down to grab her by her neck.

“You think you’re too good for my shoes? Well, I don’t think you’re good enough for them.”

The crew members murmured to each other about the odd emphasis he placed on random words. Eric, with his hand still on the back of her neck, begins to fake jerk her towards the couch but it’s clear that Julia is using her own strength to move with him instead of being pulled.

“And cut!” I tried to find what to say next. “Eric you’re touching her neck but you’re supposed to choke her. I don’t want you to hurt Julia but it needs to look realistic. You’re not even putting a dent in her skin.”

Eric nods in understanding -at least he wanted to learn/ be better- and Julia sinks back to her knees to reshoot that portion.

“Great. Okay and action!” I say again.

Eric resumes the scene and proceeds to do nearly the exact same things wrong. Then walks her over to the couch and pushes her head down in it.

“Well, I’ll teach you a lesson you dirty little slut. That’s right, bend over and show Daddy that Ass. My assss.”

Eric flips her dress up aggressively and it rolls down her back and covers her face.

“And cut! Eric,” I rub my face slightly exasperated. “You covered her face. We need to see her reactions.”

Julia pushes the material off of her face, clearly frustrated as well. We reset and Julia bends down with the material folded around her hips. Eric proceeds to try to spank her but hesitates before each strike and applies a few strikes at the same tempo with varying force. Each smack sounded different and none of them landed with a satisfying thud. Could we super impose the sound in post? Eric released a strangled grunt or some form of ‘dirty talk’ with each strike.

“Thank you, Daddy.” Julia moans again but this time it’s not convincing.

“And cut!” I say getting too used to using that word. Eric looks up at me ready for more instruction. Julia sits up gingerly.

“Julia is everything okay? Do you need another break?” I ask concerned.

“No, I’m fine. In fact, I’d rather just get this over with.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” she replies curtly.

Eric puts his hand back on the back of her neck ready to resume rolling. Once again, he lightly spanks her in the exact same space but failing to leave a mark.

“Oh yeah. You Love it but not as much as you Love this dick you dirty little bitch.”

Julia

“And cut! Okay folks we’re missing that unspoken tie between you two so we’re going to shoot again from the top. Again, remember the chemistry. I’d hate for us to use all of our time and still not get anything useable.” He said.

Oh. God. Again? I can’t take much more of this. I was picturing take after take of mind-numbingly shitty Sex. Back arches, loud fake moans, and low ratings. I could see/envision the comments now.

fast_and_the_curious: Wooooow that’s a long fall from the top. Think she’ll give me a chance once she hits the bottom?

BadKarma: It just me or is this bad karma? #Why_did_I_pay_for_this?

Fartinghouse: Is she moaning in pain? And @fast_and_the_curious hahaha she might.

LooongDuck: Holy sh*t that was so bad it’s comical!

Bootyhunter: I couldn’t even finish this.

RonChee: My dick shriveled up. Garbage. She lost her edge.

Back arch. Moan. Slap. “Cut! From the top people.” My knees were sore thinking about it.

Back arch. Moan. Slap. “Cut. From the top!”

Back arch. Moan. Slap. “Cut. From the top!”

Back arch. Moan. Slap. “Cut. From the top!”

I snap up. “Stop.” I damn near jump off the couch taking a step away from Eric. “This is ridiculous. Who screened him? I have never in my life met someone more incompetent on a set.” I turn back to Frank who at 41 had been in the business over 10 years. If anyone would agree with me, I’d be him, “You know this won’t sell and I’m not willing to take a hit to my career for this fucking amateur.”

“Instead of complaining you could just act?” The fucking amateur dares to say to me. The entire set went so still you could hear some PA’s sharp inhale.

“Act?” I ask with raised eyebrows. He nods. They looked over to Eric as if they felt sorry for him. They should. “Act?” I repeat. “Eric, pretend an alien took over your body.” Nothing. I continued my reprimand. “Pretend your girlfriend died in front of you.” Nothing. “Pretend you just got fired. The last one should be easy since it’s not too far off.” Nothing.

Eric seemed to shrink to half the size and I was still being nice. But this was supposed to be a Dom. Bullshit. “Go ahead. Pretend. ‘Act’ as you call it.” Nothing.

“Exactly.” I look back over at Frank. “He’s my scene partner and right now it’s hard to do anything but laugh at him. No one is going to buy that I would submit to him. We have to change this.”

Frank looked at me shocked. “We’re not approved to do that. We can’t change the scene. It’s not what we’re getting paid to do.”

“Well, I’m not shooting this scene. You were right. It’s all about the chemistry and no one’s going to believe this amateur could handle me. He can’t sell the fantasy. We have to make one that he can or replace him.” I say simply.

“I’m sorry we can’t do that Julia. They don’t pay me to write porno scripts or cast them. I get paid to direct the ones they already wrote.”

“We’re paid to sell Sex and this shit won’t sell.” I say stubbornly. “I won’t shoot this.”

“And I won’t be shooting anything else.” he replied back to me. “I’m sorry Julia I’m not getting in trouble over this. I don’t think we- “

“Call April.” I interrupt.

“Who’s April?” Eric asks stupidly looking back and forth between us. I was losing what little patience I had left.

“The producer.” Someone whispered putting him out of part of his misery.

“Oh,” he replied dumbly. “Why would we have to call…” He trailed off.

“She’s probably too busy.”

“If I leave, she’ll be pissed you didn’t call her.”

Frank huffs at that disbelievingly running his hands through his salt and pepper hair. His kempt beard also sprinkled with grey framed his frown as he stepped to the side of the set pulling out his phone.

FRANK

The phone trills while I wait for her to pick up. When she does, I know she’s in a brainstorming meeting as I hear people throwing around ideas in the background.

“Um… Hey, April.”

“Who is this and what’s wrong?” She replies matter-of-factly.

“Frank Vazquez, director and we have a bit of a situation on set-“

“Which set?” She replied

“Um…the Dom Sub Scene.” I say

“Which one?”

“The one with Julia and-“

“Julia. Oh, oh, oh. What’s the problem?”

“Julia doesn’t want to shoot the scene as is. She’s trying to change it-“

“Why doesn’t she want to shoot it?”

“She says, it won’t sell-“

“Change it. Do you know how much money she’s made me over the years? Do not piss her off. We have some competitors sniffing around her and she only stuck with us because we produce ‘quality fantasies’ as she calls it. So, don’t do something that makes her think we don’t. Whatever she wants she fucking gets and Finn–I mean– Frank if she quits someone’s getting fired.”

“Done and done.” I say before April hangs up the phone. “Okay Julia what are we changing?”

“Give me a second.” Julia says looking around the set.

“Are you thinking we put together a makeshift script.”

“I don’t know. How much longer do we have the set for?” Julia asked.

“A couple of hours. What are you thinking?” I ask as she walks over to me.

“Yeah. How are we going to change the scene?” Eric asks.

We all ignore him.

“Maybe we could-” Eric tries to interject again.

We ignore him some more.

“I was thinking-“

“Be quiet. Honey, you walked into a room where everyone knows more than you and one of the things they know is, you don’t belong here and more importantly you don’t deserve to be here. Now leave it to the adults decide how to make this scene work.” Julia says angrily. “How to fix the fucking mess you’ve made.” she mutters to herself.

We start spit balling some ideas. Eric tried to join us and without looking Julia raises her hand to tell him to stay there. Eric stopped in his tracks. A metaphorical light bulb light over my head. I whisper my idea to Julia, “It clearly still hits the brief and appeals to a similar audience.” She says seeming to think about it for a moment shifting her head from side to side. “Okay, let’s do it.”

We disperse preparing to reshoot while Julia updates Eric, “We talked and it makes the most since that we just swap roles.”

“Yeah.” I add on. “You’re going to follow Julia’s lead and since we only have the set for a couple more hours and we don’t have time to write another script. We’ll try to get enough film so that we can edit this improv chaos into something.” I say

“But I’m not comfortable shooting without a script.” Eric cuts in.

This stupid motherfucker.

JULIA

“But I’m not comfortable shooting without a script.” Eric cuts in.

My nostrils flare. “Let me get this straight… You don’t want to shoot without a script, you don’t want to act well with one. You don’t want to do your job and you don’t want to lose your job.” I lifted my hands from my sides exasperated. “I don’t know why you think anyone gives a fuck what you want.”

“Well-“

“You’re wasting my and everyone else’s time. Are you quitting or are you ready to work?”

When Eric doesn’t reply immediately, I look around the room and when I spot an attractive extra with glasses, dark hair, and a fit body I stopped. I’d seen on a few sets before and he usually had few or no lines but he hadn’t been a problem in any of the other scenes.

“You,” –I say as I point at him– “what’s in your contract? Do you do nudity? Sex?”

He looks at me beaming. “Uh- yes. Yes, I do Ma’am.”

“Sir.” I interject.

“Sir?” He replies.

“Yes. It’s short. It’s curt. I don’t like ma’am, master or mistress so you will call me Sir.”

“Um… Yes, I do nudity and Sex scenes… Sir.”

“Okay. Come here-” I say snapping before I realized I don’t know his name. “What’s your name?”

“Kyle- Kyle, Sir.”

“Come here, Kyle. Stand in the center of the room.”

Kyle shuffles to the center of the room stiffly he was clearly nervous about his ‘big break’.

“Don’t look nervous.” I say as gently as I can. “Put your hands by your side, shoulder back, relax.”

He relaxes adjusting his posture based on my instructions. I inspect him from head to toe until I notice Eric is still on set.

“Why are you still here?” I ask him and when he doesn’t reply I amend, “What do you want, Eric?”

“I want to be actor.” he replies softly

“If you want to be an actor, why aren’t you playing an extra in a movies? Why are you here?” I repeat.

“I like when the camera is on me and I don’t want to be some extra I want to play the lead.” he almost whispers.

“Well, you tried to play the lead and it didn’t work out for you. So maybe you should go home, kid.”

“But I want to be here.” he says.

I decide to cut him some slack. “I’m telling you this now not to scare you but to be honest with you. This business,” I say referencing the set around us “is a third talent, a third experience and a third luck. Clearly, you’ve got the luck since some idiot cast you and I’m giving you Free advice but you don’t have the experience or talent yet. So, if we leave set today and you’re not in the final product you’ll need to find yourself another career. Especially since you cost people money and wasted more than half a day. Make up your mind are you staying or leaving? Want to be an extra or do you want to be a star.”

“Yes. I want to be the lead.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to be the lead I asked if you wanted to be a star.”

I hold up condescending jazz hands at the word ‘star’. Eric mulls it over.

“I-I want to be a star.”

“Well, you took too long to answer and unfortunately Eric, I don’t believe you but fortunately whether or not you have a career means nothing to me. So go ask the crew if they’ll bother to work with you.”

Eric turns to them to go ask them.

“Please can I be in the film?”

One of the camera men smirks clearly wanting to repay Eric for some of the torture he put them all through. “Get up on the couch and ask us.”

Eric kneels on the couch he elbows resting on the back as he leans over it and continues to ask the crew.

“Come on. Give me a shot.”

One crew member turns to another and whispers:

“Why are we doing this? We know we’re not leaving here without anything getting shot.”

“Because it’s more fun to watch him suffer for a bit.”

“Give me another chance.”

“It’s true he has made us suffer quite a bit today.”

“Please let me be in the scene. Please let me be in the scene. Please let me be in the scene.”

“Fine. You can be in the scene.”

“Thank you.”

Kyle immediately looks dejected thinking he’s been fired and he starts to walk back to the sideline.

“Where are you going?” I ask. “Did I dismiss you?”

“No, Sir.” he answers hopefully.

“Then stay where you are.”

I turn back to Eric circling him.

“Yeah, tonight you will definitely be a star.” I say smiling. “Because someone’s going to submit Eric, and it’s not going to be the sound guy, it’s not going to Kyle and it’s definitely not going to be me. You will do what I ask of you, or pay the price, or you will go home. Is that understood?”

Eric nods.

I turn to the crew. “I’m done with the couch. Please move it.

The crew moves the couch out of the way.

“Let’s start shooting. Eric. Remove Kyle’s shirt.”

“I- what?” Eric asks.

“Remove. His. Shirt. That’s one.” I repeat.

“One what?”

“That’s two.”

“Two what?” Eric glances at Kyle quickly who mouths ‘Sir’ “…Sir.”

“Times you’ve made me unhappy.” I shoot a glance at Kyle. “Don’t join him.” I say making it clear that I know he helped Eric.

“I-I don’t understand, Sir.”

“Don’t worry. It’ll come full circle in the end. Just don’t let me get to ten.”

“Yes, Sir.”

ERIC

Her face made it clear that I didn’t want it to come full circle. I paled a little grabbing the hem of Kyles shirt to remove it but he made no move to help me. Be professional. I turned my head to the side so I didn’t have to look Kyle in the eyes as I undressed him. Once I got the shirt off, I fiddle with it in my hands not knowing what to do with it. Finally, I decide to fold it and place it on the silver coffee table behind me before turning back to face Julia.

“Good. Now strip.”

“Yes Sir.”

Julia stands in front of Kyle watching me as I reach for the hem of my own shirt but she stops me holding up her hand.

“Pants first.”

“Yes Sir.”

I snatch off my belt quick to comply. I wasn’t used to undressing myself.

“You’re not getting paid to bore us. Put on a show.” Julia snaps.

“Yes, Sir.”

I try to slow down bending at the waist like I’d seen Julia do before pushing my pants towards my ankles. They bunch getting caught on my boots. I untie my shoelaces in a way that I hope is sensual taking off my shoes, socks and then my jeans. Before I could debate between my shirt and my underwear Julia says, “Stop.”

I stop. Standing up with my underwear and t-shirt still on.

“Kneel.” she says.

I immediately sink to my knees.

“You read the old script. You know how I want you.” she says. I lowered myself until I was sitting on his heels.