The Pleasure Boy 14

Back at the start of this story when my mother administered that test of sexual interests and tendencies I had scored high on most BDSM traits, and on submissive tendencies in particular. Operationally, what that meant was that watching a spanking scene (for example), my blood pressure went up slightly more when the camera was trained on the recipient of the punishment than when it turned to the disciplinarian. Without my conscious awareness, of course. In those days of relative innocence, if a woman had invited me to take a spanking over her lap, I would have understood it as a sex game and gone along out of curiosity, but little else. I knew about bondage and discipline as games that some people played, but at that stage, they had little role in my masturbatory fantasies, and none at all in my actual sex life with Kendra or any of the other girls I’d dated..

Just a few short weeks later, I was not just a collared submissive, but a veteran sex pervert (by some people’s lights), in training for deep-throat cock sucking and anal intercourse. The change had freaked Kendra out. She was not ready for sex with a geisho-in-training, and preferred to ‘just be friends.’ I wondered I’d go along with her on this, have patience, and see what would happen; but, as the days went by, I never found time (or great desire) to call her, and so that friendship never happened.

However, when I stopped to think about it, I too found myself… disconcerted is the word, by this sea-change in my own identity. And so it was that after dinner one evening, I asked Mitch if we could have a private talk. “Not if I can’t report it to Mistress Charlotte,” he warned me. “I can protect your privacy a little. I can be selective about what I tell her. But I will have to tell her everything I think she needs to know, and truthfully answer questions she asks.” I told him that was fine with me, and he took me to his room. “What’s on your mind,” he asked me, pouring a little dessert wine for both of us.

I tried to explain – that everything was happening so fast, that I no longer recognized myself, that I was feeling overwhelmed at how quickly my life and identity had altered. His first response was that I should be having this talk with Mistress Lotte. “No, no,” I answered. “You’ll probably report our chat to Mistress, and if she wants to see me she will. But it’s not that big a deal, honestly. I’m not cracking up or dropping out; I’m taking the training in stride and I’m enjoying most of it. I trust all of you and feel that I’m in good hands. It’s not fear or anxiety that I’m feeling, just disorientation. Things have been happening so fast, it becoming hard to remember who I am.”

“Several people, including Lisa (who probably got the idea from Mistress) and my mother (who tested me and chose to send me here for training) have suggested that you are my appropriate role model. Lisa told me, in so many words, that she’s looking for a relationship with a male sub, analogous to yours with Mistress Charlotte, and that she sees me as a likely candidate. So if I’m to think of myself as you-in-training, an apprentice Mitch so to speak. It’s you I need to speak with.”

“OK,” Mitch responded. “But I’m not sure what I can tell you. I think you’re training is going very well, and that you’re coming along just fine. For what it’s worth, I agree that you’re being pushed to define yourself too quickly, but you’re in good hands, and have plenty of freedom. You can be sure that, one way or another, you’ll end up where you belong.”

“But that’s just it, Mitch. Where do I belong? I thought I was doing geisho training to put myself through university. I thought I wanted to study history. My dad hoped I’d run his business some day. My mother saw the makings of a geisho, oriented toward sex, BDSM and submission, Mistress Lotte agreed, took me on as an apprentice and now seems to see me as a lifemate like you – to Lisa or someone like her. Everyone (including me!!) seems to have their own ideas about me. But I don’t know which idea is right.”

“I don’t believe it works that way,” Mitch told me. “I think you’re asking a meaningless question. Whatever our hopes, wishes or choices, no one can decide at 19 what they’re going to be at 40 or 60. As they say, ‘Life is what happens while you’re planning something else.’ A plan, an intention, puts you on a path – to become a businessman, an academic, a geisho, whatever. You will eventually end up where your path takes you; but no one can know in advance where that will be. Something may happen to knock you off one path and put you on another. You may decide at some point to leave the path you’re on and try something else. You will find sooner or later that you’re committed to the path you’re on, for better or for worse. And that will be true even if you’re on no consistent path at all – just changing your mind from time to time because nothing feels right.”

“Lotte and I and the Geisha Guild are leading you, driving you, along a certain path. But we’re not rigid about this. You can tell Lotte that you don’t want to train under Lisa and she’ll work with each of you in some other way. If you tell her that you prefer personnel management or golf or whatever to BDSM, she’ll find you a different Master or Mistress and a different training house. You can find some other way to pay for university and leave the Guild entirely. You’re a free agent. But as long as you’re training under Lotte, you’re in her hands until you use the equivalent of a safe word to get her to stop what she is doing.”

“But what exactly is she doing? Why has she collared me to Lisa?”

“First of all,” Mitch answered, “she never did any such thing. She suggested something to Lisa and Lisa suggested it to you. You both went along with our Mistress’ suggestion and connected yourselves. It would be fair to say that Lisa encouraged it, instigated it even, but she didn’t do it to you. You’re doing it yourselves.”

“But second, remember that Mistress has to work with what she has. She can’t do anything else. Joe and Gayle are older than you, and they’re a married couple with joint ambitions as a couple. They’ve shown no sign of changing that. Which means that apart from little side trips which they might be sent on separately, they must be kept and trained together as a pair. You’re a young man with no firm commitments as yet, who shows talent as a loyal and loving submissive. Lisa shows talent as a mindful, caring Dominatrix, able to relate to her clients and further them in the lifestyle, not just spank subbies or edge them, or tie them up. So how is she going train you guys as separate individuals with your different needs? Aha! She sees the chance of putting you two together and getting you to train each other. She and the Guild will coach you for at least another year, if you stick with us. Your mother, ‘Mistress Hannah’ as we think of her, will be coaching Lisa. The two of you will either come closer together, or you’ll drift apart.”

“Let me ask you just one question: Are you happy with us and under Lisa, or do you want out?”

“I don’t want out. Not at all. What scares me is how comfortable I am! Just a few weeks ago, I was at loose ends, with some vague ambitions, but no idea how to pursue them after my Dad refused to pay my way. What I find now, is that with my Mom’s help and Lotte’s and yours, I feel that I’m exactly where I belong. It has little to do with my original ambition, but shows every sign of turning me into something I never thought of becoming.”

“And that bothers you?”

“No! What bothers me is that it doesn’t bother me, if that makes any sense.”

“Then there’s your answer, Jim: Stick with it and enjoy the ride as long as you’re enjoying it. When it becomes unpleasant, or you want to go somewhere else, bail out. Between them, Lotte and Lisa are shaping you, but they’re not defining you.”

“I don’t see the difference.”

“Shaping cuts away possibilities but also creates new ones. Defining just pins you down and sets limits. You grew up in Montreal speaking English and French. That shaped you, in the sense that it would be difficult, close to impossible now, for you to master Japanese. But you could pick up at least a smattering of Japanese if you wanted to; and there’s no end of what you can do with only your native English and your acquired French. Already, at age 18, you have been shaped but not defined – by the genes in the single cell you started off as, by the male human body that this cell configured as it multiplied and differentiated, and then by all that’s happened to this body, or that it did, since it was born.”

“So I should allow Lotte and Lisa – and the Guild, of course – to continue to shape but not define me? Stick around and soak up what they make of me so long as I’m enjoying it?”

“Close. But what you might learn from me is the difference between a submissive and sponge. I think that’s what they mean by suggesting me as your role model. I’m a submissive. That means that much of my own happiness and pleasure come from serving and pleasing others. It means that I’m less attached to my own desires and feelings and opinions than most dominants are to theirs – your mother and Lotte and Lisa, for three examples. But I do have desires and feelings and opinions of my own, and I would not willingly serve a Domme who did not allow me to express them; did not sometimes – in her goodness and wisdom – indulge them. And who showed me that she respected my wishes and took them into account whether she indulged them or not.”

“Now, Lotte was already such a Domme before I met her; and we were fortunate to meet each other, for I think I can fairly boast that I serve her pretty well. She will say the same, if you ask her. But Lisa is still an apprentice, only ten months more advanced in her training than you are; and what Mistress Lotte has handed you is part of the big job of teaching her to be a good Domme, even while she is teaching you to be her sub.”

Don’t forget that while Lotte and the Guild are training you to be a professional submissive, Lisa will try to train you to be her submissive – which is a whole other thing. And as she tries, it will be up to you to withstand when she goes wrong, and thereby help her to correct her own mistakes.”

“I find out, I think. Thank you Mitch. This helps a lot. What you’ve just said reminds me of another question that I’ve been wanting to ask someone. I know what it means to be submissive to someone. I know what it means to be ‘a submissive,’ meaning someone who looks for intimacy with a more dominant partner. But what is a professional submissive, exactly? What am I being trained to do?”

“That’s a very good question,” Mitch replied. “At first glance, a professional sub – like a professional anything else – is a person who makes their living at it. So yes, we’re training you to be a sub who’s good and competent enough to get paid for doing it. We’re training you to be a good submissive. But what that means is partly a matter of comment, because there are different ideas, and at all times different priorities and preferences, on what a good submissive should be. One person might say that a good sub becomes whatever his Dom wants him to be. Another might say that a good sub has no volition of his own, like a sex toy, or a piece of furniture. Neither describes what I am to Mistress Charlotte, or what you are being trained as.”

“Guild subs are not slaves who exist as the legal or de facto property of their masters, without rights or volition of our own. We are skilled servants, trained to give service; but for us, there is something more than this at stake. Trained cooks, butlers and executive secretaries are also professionals giving service. They normally take and obey orders from their employers or customers; and the really good ones surely enjoy giving satisfaction and pleasure. But most of them are not submissive in our sense, but specialized professionals trained to provide one type of service.”

“By contrast, Guild subs are generalists, to begin with. We learn whatever we need to serve our Dominants well, and then we do this as best we can. I think the best answer I can give is that the ideal sub – the subs we try to train and be – is a perfect friend who is there for his Dom no matter what, will accept punishment for his flaws and errors, and will even take a degree of abuse (when the Dom loses it) x – with a safe word, with the right to call ‘time out’ – rather than abandon the friendship.”

“Some professional subs are just temporary or situational. They work in dungeons, for professional Dominants, and will take spankings and light whippings, give blow jobs, and generally inflate the egos of the paying customers. You’ll get experience along those lines – valuable experience – but that’s not what you’re being trained for. Your role as a trained professional sub will be to accompany and support your Dom through thick and thin, like the squire of a medieval knight, or the consigliere of a Mafia Don, sharing his adventures and fortunes. That you’ll give service as desired, sexual and otherwise, is a matter of course. But the essence of your role is support and loyalty. You get to choose, whom you bond with in this way – typically through a trial period of mutual choice as you are doing now with Lisa. I had two Mistresses and one Master before I met and dedicated myself to Lotte. I should add that some unfortunate subs never discover the Dom with whom they form such a bond. Rather, over the course of their careers, they go through a number of such relationships, rather like serially monogamous marriages. They end up lonely and frustrated because no relationship works to their complete satisfaction and they are too rigid in their own desires ever to be content with what they have.”

“And there are other possibilities. Some pro subs don’t bond with a Dominant individual. Rather, they are taken up by a government, a corporation, or by the Guild itself, to provide continuity and apolitical service to the institution at a senior level.”

“Does this sound like the future you want for yourself?”

“It sounds attractive. I’d considerate it, but for now the answer is ‘No.’ My plan is to become an academic and teach history.”

“We know that. But conceivably, as a pro-sub you could become attached to the university that pays your salary, or to its history department. Along the way, if you want to make good money while putting yourself through eight or ten years of schooling, the career path of a professional sub is not a bad choice – especially if you can sub to a senior man or woman in your field. And you’ll also get a lot of good, kinky sex while you’re making your living, without having to look for it.”

“Anyway, think about it. That’s the future your mother offered you when she sent you to Mistress Lotte. You can at all times drop out and take a different path on your own. But meanwhile, after you pass this apprenticeship, you can survive and put yourself through university with remunerative part-time work.”

“We’ve talked long enough. I’m going leave you now. “As I warned you, Mistress Lotte will hear the gist of our conversation. I doubt she’ll do anything about it. There was nothing in it that will surprise or bother her.”

I told him I’d happily have the same conversation with her, if she wanted. “But it was you that I needed to talk with. Now I know why everyone points to you as my natural role model.”

I thanked him again and started off to serve Lisa. On the way, passing Gayle’s room, I heard the sounds of a paddling. Then I heard Joe whimpering, calling his wife ‘Mistress,’ and promising obedience. “Please stop, Mistress,” he bawled. “I swear I’ll never again refuse your orders! I’ll do what you tell me!”

Then I heard Gayle’s voice: “Do you understand now, husband? Your days as my boss are over. Now I’m in charge of our marriage, and you will learn to obey!”

This was a switch! In the past, Joe had been the Dom in that marriage. Now Gayle was asserting herself and spanking her husband. Joe was taking his punishment and begging for mercy with a weepy, broken voice. Though fascinated, I didn’t want to eavesdrop, and hurried on.

Reaching Lisa’s room, I knocked and was told to enter. “Sorry Miss,” I said. “I know it’s late, but I needed to have a talk with Mitch.”

“What about?” she asked. “I know I’m being nosy, but as your acting Mistress, I’m entitled to know.”

“Miss, it’s late now, and I’m afraid that my conversation with him may start a long discussion with you. I promise to give you a full report tomorrow night, if you’ll let it go for now.”

She agreed, and instead commanded what she called ‘the complete foot service’, a favourite of hers after a long, tense day, that was very relaxing for both of us. The first step was to fill a basin with hot water: very hot, but bearably so – not quite as hot as she could stand. I would then place this at her feet and just sit in nadu beside her while she enjoyed a good soak. Next, when she was ready, I would wash her feet with a fragrant liquid soap and then massage them. Finally, in the ‘Worship’ posture, I would do just that, kneeling directly in front of her, with my arms outstretched, kissing her feet. For as long as she liked, I would remain in that position, basking in her presence, appreciating the privilege of serving her, and passing her peace and power with my thoughts. For Lisa, it was the perfect end to an exhausting, energy-draining day. For me, it was one of the little rituals that made my submissive status rewarding – one of the pleasures I was beginning to discover in being a sub.

When she’d had enough of this, she tossed a blanket over me, kissed me goodnight, curled up in her bed and was soon asleep. For a time I lay still, just enjoying the sound of her breathing before I too drifted off. Already, even at this early stage of training, there was no place anywhere where I felt more at peace. However I might withstand defining myself, I had to recognize that my pleasure in submission was a fact of life. The impersonal love I felt at Lisa’s feet (not even of Lisa, specifically, but of my subservience and service to her) was too vibrant and rich to be denied. I could not tell where this lifestyle would take me, but felt completely happy where I was.