Our eyes all the time met when Ruth came into the rare bookshop. Over time our gazing would linger just a bit too long in a searching way as if each of us had some deep, but not quite conscious, curiosity about the other person.

Ruth was perhaps a decade older than me with a rather thick body, yet she carried herself with the physical awareness and pride of a dancer. When she spoke it was with an expressive precision characteristic of someone who truly loves language.

Ruth’s taste in books was unconventional and fascinating. First she purchased a quite scarce first edition of Krafft-Ebing’s 1886 Psychopathia Sexualis which chronicles every imaginable sexual aberration and perversity.

Later she bought a pricey book containing some of the edgier and more transgressive photography of Robert Mapplethorpe.

When she walked in today asking if I asked if I had a copy of Kristeva’s “Abjection and Melancholy” I just sort of blurted out that I often wondered the abject was quite gorgeous.

Now “abject” is a bit of a slippery term but it usually associated with bodily waste, or what is cast away as foul, or associated with degradation. I had grown up in a house where everything good was supposed to be clean and everything dirty was bad. However my tastes in sex had flipped that equation a bit since from the very beginning dirtier was better.

If my partner’s orgasm was so strong she lost control and pissed or farted when she came it just added a raw lovely level of unhinged and rapturous release to our play. Discovering the intricacies and wonders of the g-spot and how to turn a trickle into a gush made me and my partners ever so happy. Gulping copious squirt felt almost like a bonding sacrament, even a sort of Eucharist. And combining anal and vaginal play so that coming was twinning of the pleasures of both worlds was paradise. And I liked the dark pungencies of her ass smells almost as much as the sublime layered smells of her arousal. And my mouth on and in a partner’s ass, what pure delight. Taking the time to make a partner’s rectum relax into a sloshy wet openness so I can get my mouth beautifully deep inside her has all the time seemed to be one of the greatest pleasures of life. Do that right and you can make her squirm with pleasures she didn’t even know existed. And if her fingers or mouth found my ass that was fabulous too.

But I hadn’t experienced any of that sublime messiness for a while since I had been single for several months when I blurted my bit about thinking the abject was gorgeous. Ruth’s response to my words was a stare that was at first so icy and cold my throat constricted but I could not turn away. It was almost like we were locked in one of those staring contests you have as a kid; but this one felt urgent, and piercing and almost like a sort of brinkmanship, as if something that mattered immensely was at stake.

Finally breaking the stare I told her that I didn’t have the abjection book but that I wondered it would be interesting to meet for coffee. Ruth agreed and we decided to meet that weekend at a nearby café. She left the store without lingering or making a purchase.

It was close to closing time and I started straightening shelves and stocking some new acquisitions but I kept wondering about Ruth and how her mind worked and what she wanted from life not just in the obvious way but what her own deep inner urgencies were.

About five minutes before it was time to lock up for the night Ruth walked in through the front door. I felt a surge of excitement run through my entire body: adrenaline, testosterone but something else as well and I felt a bit of weak in the knees. I swallowed hard and was about to greet her when she spoke.

“Thomas, I’m not a patient person and I think I would prefer if you just come home with me now.”

I shook my head up and down and kind of pushed out the single word “yes” and told her it would take me about five more minutes to close up. She asked for a paper and pen and wrote down her address which would turn out to be a small craftsman home in the Berkeley hills. She asked me to give her twenty minutes so I took my time with closing the shop and driving the two or three curvy miles to her home.

I was strangely excited as I spotted the numbers on Ruth’s home, pulled alongside the curb and walked up the steps to her porch. I adored Craftsmen homes and all the time felt they made time a little fluid as if suddenly it could be 1920 as easily as the present day. That feeling swirled into an intimation that Ruth was gonna be quite unlike any other women I had known and her door might just be portal into a bit of a different world.

I knocked on the door and Ruth greeted me warmly and thanking me for coming ushering me inside. One entire wall of the living room was floor to ceiling bookshelves. Glancing at them I was immediately struck by the number of art and photography books which we immediately began talking about. She had fascinating tastes, lots of Man Ray, Francesca Woodman, Nan Goldin, Rineke Dijkstra, Joel Peter Witkin, and Robert Mapplethorpe. I saw the Mapplethorpe book I had sold her but it was only one of perhaps ten on her shelf about that fascinating artist. Clearly Ruth was at home with edgy and transgressive art that pushed the boundaries. Talking with her about her books was lovely and comfortable. She described the way books for her were portals of discovery. That is something I might have said and as we talked on a bit excitedly a weird sense of twinship, at least with respect to art, was becoming obvious to us both.

Then, as if she had a particular agenda in mind, she turned and said enough of books for now and ushered me into a high backed chair and pulled up another one to sit down so our knees were just inches from each other. She bent down and removed each shoe so she was barefoot. Glancing at her pale feet I saw she didn’t wear polish but obviously she took good care of her feet. I expected we would keep up the dialogue but I wrong.

Ruth launched into a monologue that really left no pauses. I didn’t mind a bit. In a half hour I learned of her job teaching philosophy at Berkeley, and of what had been a painful divorce five years ago. I learned of her absolute distrust of the whole idea of love and how she wondered a bond between two people really thrived with honesty, self-revelation and an attentiveness to the inner reality of the other person. She indicated that she was quite sure that most people get tripped up with the word love, with routine and compromise, and seeing ideals instead of substance.

There was nothing too profound in her words and yet they exerted a strange pull on me. I too had grown a bit distrustful about the word “love” which seemed to chiefly used to choose idealization of the other person rather than real clarity of seeing. But then Ruth turned to the subject of the erotic and I was utterly enthralled by her words. She wondered everyone lied to themselves and their partners about the true nature of their erotic desires. She claimed we are policemen to ourselves constricting, repressing, normalizing the gorgeous range of what erotic intimacy could be. In a flash I had a quite clear sense of where this was going.

She had a proposition for me and at the word proposition I leaned forward realizing I had probably been right in my intimations that something was gonna change today.

She told me she found me attractive and compatible and knew I felt the same way about her. She surprised me by insisting she had known from the first time she was in the store I wasn’t the least bit vanilla and that she was sure in my heart kink was as necessary to erotics as breathing. I had all the time liked clever and knew she was extremely intelligent even from our short exchanges, but this was an observational acuity and intuitive brilliance that was an gigantic and instant turn-on. I felt recognized and seen and there is real power in that feeling.

She suggested we have a different sort of affair, specifically that we take a month to see what happens if we are both scrupulously honest without restraint or censorship about what we desire erotically from each other. Pay scrupulous attention not just to the conventional hungers but to the deeper and sometimes fainter inner whisperings and urgencies. I was all in.

But I did raise the obvious question of what if our desires proved incompatible. She answered that we wouldn’t be sitting here if there weren’t already a enormous zone of compatibility between us and that the rest would get worked out through negotiation, trade, and the fact that as the month progresses we will take upon ourselves the desires of the other person as if they were our own. Her calm assurance about this last point was enthralling.

Then Ruth relaxed and laughed a bit saying we both already knew worlds about each other if we were honest about it, and I could feel a flush of pleasant heat moving from my loins through my body as I figured she was right. I’ll make the first move in this chess game of desire set free she told me then related how she had a harmless physical condition that made her hyper-salivate always. Lots and lots and lots of saliva. She was looking right at me as she said these words and damn it was like pouring acetylene on a slow burning fire. It had seemed natural to pull a lovers head upward so our mouths could meet if my cock had just been gag-deep and her mouth had flooded with saliva. It was primal. You never even needed to say the words “Feed me.” They would know as if it was some primal truth of the blood.

But Ruth speaking about wild excesses of saliva as her every day state made my cock stir and made and every inch of skin feel beautifully alive. Leaning toward her I could feel my nipples against my shirt sending waves of pleasure through my body. Looking right into my eyes Ruth reached up and took my head in her hands as she gathered saliva in her mouth. In a moment she leaned forward to kiss but I held her off asking her to wait and gather more. Her eyes smiled at that as a she sloshed an ever growing pond of saliva around in her mouth.

We both sat there in a sort of groove of paradise, waiting, waiting, as her mouth got outrageously full of saliva. Twice she leaned forward and I pushed her back but by the third time it was clear her mouth was a lake of wetness and we both leaned forward to kiss. This time it was my hands upon her face and as our lips and mouths opened to the warmth of each other as her sloshy warm wetness flooded into my mouth. Every inch of my skin felt electric and alive and my mouth with the wet of her pouring into it felt wonderful. There was so much saliva and though my mouth is large the sheer amount of her wet meant I could either gulp her down or push some back into her mouth. Suddenly we were sloshing back and forth in a snowballing of saliva with the amount growing with every moment. My body felt on fire with my cock pressing hard against my jeans. What a fucking wild lovely first kiss. A lake of her warm wet and now our warm wet sloshing, sloshing back and forth between us. A communion. Oh this was lovely and bonding and hot.

Finally with my mouth full I softly sucked at her mouth drawing the last of our combined saliva into my now full to brimming mouth and taking her hands in mine and looking into her lovely dark oceanic eyes gulped three times and it was now inside of me making its way to my belly.

“I need my mouth inside your cunt Ruth. I need to taste you.”

“Lay down on your back Thomas”

So quickly and barely able to contain my excitement I lay face upward on her wooden floor and she stood over me her pale bare feet pressing against my cheeks.

I assumed she would strip, squat down and straddle my mouth but she just stood there in her knee high brown skirt with her loins almost invisible in the shadow of her dress. That position, on the ground and looking up at her was just so freeing and fun but the desire to have her mash her cunt down on my mouth was like that of Tantalus craving water under the burning sun. My breath started coming in pants. Just squat down, I wondered, please, I’ll can work around the panties. But instead she says in a tone I hadn’t heard before:

“I don’t think I’ll make it quite that easy on you. I’m feeling just a bit, well mean. I think I’ll enjoy depriving you a bit.”

With this she sat on the chair, and removed her skirt and her black panties walked to the other room where I could hear her opening a drawer. A minute later she returned with a Hitachi magic wand, and another pair of panties. But these were quite a bit larger than her other pair and shiny and I suddenly realized they were vinyl. I really had no idea what she was up to.

Once again, she moved to stand over me but this time there were no shadows to hide her thick strong legs or panties to cover what proved to be a rather thick bush. Laying there, looking up at her, knowing much of her smarts, and smitten with her words she seemed a Goddess. She handed me a pillow from the couch to put under my head and again I assumed she would mash down upon my mouth but instead she switched on the Hitachi magic wand and started caressing her labia softly moving the vibrator up and down from above her labia in slow strokes down to the crack of her ass. With her ample ass she had to squat a bit to press it against her rectum but she did and watching her pause the large white vibrating bulb on her rectum then move slowly pressing against her labia then clit then slowly back to her ass was the prettiest sight I had seen in ages.

Her swaying in mounting joy so concentrated my desires the only thing I wanted in the world was her to mash down and fuck my mouth with her lovely cunt and ass.

To my dismay she moved away again and sat once more upon the couch. But this time it was to pull on her vinyl panties. They were indeed larger than her panties but only in how much flesh they covered. They were skin tight, even constricting against her flesh and it made her curves and her public mound suddenly feel hot in an altogether different way.

I started thinking about the vinyl itself. There was something so utterly and edgily hot about the shiny skin tight quality. But I am so scent and wetness driven and the wondered of the vinyl being an impermeable barrier between her wetness and scent and me sent me into a bit of a panic. Weirdly it made her feel ever so much more in control and dominant. My masochism is contextual and mood dependent but I realized if she were to lash me at that point it would have felt amazing. But then I wondered about her skin beneath the latex and how all her moisture whether sweat arousal or other fun things would be contained and I got all hot in a different sort of way.

Again she stood over me. Oh she knew exactly what she was doing. She started using the vibrator through the latex but much more aggressively thrusting it between her legs back and forth from rectum to clit. I imagined the inside of the latex getting wet with her sweat and arousal and involuntarily opened my mouth.

She moaned a bit and closed her eyes and then smiled faintly. She stood perfectly still for a moment and then suddenly there was a hissing sound as I watched with amazed delight her latex panties swelling up like someone filling a water balloon. Now standing in hot piss-filled panties I saw in my mind the wet sloshing into her cunt and against her ass. Then she began with the vibrator again. It was like a water balloon on a paint shaker barely containing a sea of sloshing hot piss waves.

“Please,” I said, and realized I was begging.

“If you really want it you can suck it out of my asshole. Go to the kitchen and in the corner far counter you will see a large turkey baster and large yellow bowl. Bring them here.”

The request felt better than winning a lottery. In a flash I was off the floor, had found the objects and had set the baster in the bowl on the floor in front of her.

“Look, but don’t touch” she insisted squatting over the bowl.

Ruth worked her fingers underneath the edge of the tight black latex encircling her ample pale thighs. Then carefully pulling one side away from her flesh as she squatted low as the bubble of her wetness poured out splashing loudly into the bowl. She had some trouble removing the now soaked latex which was tight and slippery against her pale, soaked flesh but eventually she succeeded in peeling it off and it lay like a deflated wet balloon at her feet.

Ruth then leaned over the couch with her ample pale ass thrust back toward me. Oh, did I ever know just what to do. Grabbing her still wet ass cheeks I gently spread them wide aside staring with hunger and fascination at her deliciously exposed rectum brown with just a hint of pink in the middle. I would change that in short order.

First taking a long slow savoring lick from the bottom of her labia over her asshole and up to her lower back I just luxuriated in the changing mixture of cunt fragrances and the sharp scent of piss and the faint hint of the darker pungencies of her rectum. Returning to her rectum I began to alternate between gentle suckling and pushing my tongue ever deeper inward. As her rectum began relaxing to my thrusting tongue Ruth’s hand reached underneath and began to caress her clitoris and labia. I wanted relaxed and open and sloshy wet so I kept making a seal with my lips around her asshole and pressing out saliva into her ass till her with each thrust into her now sloshy wet rectum it became looser until it almost seemed to be drawing me in.

“Push out Ruth” I softly asked and could instantly feel her lovely depths unfurling a bit around my tongue.

As she pushed out she squirted piss so I said “harder” and with that a bubbling fart burst forth from her frothy and now relaxed rectum. Inhaling deeply I wondered my cock was gonna rip through my jeans. Time to loose these I wondered. But still I focused on her beautiful rectum now wetting a finger in my mouth and sliding it in with ease. I started moving it in a circle within her ass to further stretch it out and alternatingly thrust my tongue while suckling with my lips the brown of her ass now a bright pink sloshy heaven of inside unfurling to outside. Now inserting two fingers in my mouth I savored the sharper scents and taste of the finger that had filled her. Sucking my fingers clean left them soaked with saliva. Pushing them gently against her rectum they easily slid into her up to the knuckles. Ruth started moaning, her stroking of her pussy becoming more rhythmic and intense.

I spread my two fingers within her rectum opening up a kind of sloshy cavern space then put my mouth again against her, blowing air into her ass. Ruth must have guessed what I was doing and pushed her ass back hard against my mouth and fingers. Removing my fingers I filled her ass with first one breath than two then three Ruth moaning all the while.

“Push out Ruth” and what might just be the longest, loudest and most copious fart I’d ever experienced blew out of her ass and covering my face in a spray of saliva and a faint trace of dissolved shit.

I fucking loved it. There are times in life when you cum with your whole body except for your cock. This was one. I breathed in her essence opening my mouth outrageously wide to catch the last of her ass blast. I could feel precum leaking out of my cock. Such utterly nasty, depraved and dirty delights. Such utterly innocent play in the wind, rain and mud. As her farting ended I moved my mouth around her rectum and sucked more wet farts out of her.

I glanced over at the turkey baster leaning in the lovely sea of Ruth’s piss-plus, half filling the large yellow bowl. I liked the “plus” of it since thanks to impermeable latex the piss was mixed with Ruth’s sweat, wet of arousal, and whatever came from her ass as it bathed in the warm sloshy wet mixture. I wanted Ruth’s sea inside of me and I was about to get it.