A text-message at 4am spoiled my Saturday morning chance to sleep in.
“Hey, if I have to be awake, why not you too, Sleepyhead.”
“WT*?”, I replied. Maybe it’s just that she likes my type of bantering. We’re like all the time kidding around at the dogpark. Or maybe she just likes the fact that our two dogs are great play-friends there. I dunno. But it’s fun, and it passes the time very quickly. I just hadn’t planned on it invading my Saturday morning early. But I’d play along nonetheless; she’s cute and anyone would be glad to have her ‘in bed’ so to speak, any day, any time of day.
“So, whatcha doin’? I’m bored. Slow here tonight.”
“Well I WAS sleeping. You remember sleep? It’s what most people do this time of day. Maybe even some of your patients. Or do you go into their rooms and wake them up too?”
“LOL. Oh yeah. now I remember. Ha. But I don’t get off my shift and get any sleep for another 4 hours. Can you keep me company, Harold?”
“Why don’t you go wake up one of your male patients and have them keep you company? Or better yet, text your HUBBY?”
“Nah, he’s no fun. Besides, I can wake him up in the night anytime I want… if ya know what I mean. Wink. And patients here? I don’t have any old studs here or I would. LOL.”
“Old studs? You have a thing for old studs, do you? That figures, ya little tease!”
“Aw. Of course I do. You oldsters are fun to tease. And admit it, you love it when a young blond chick wakes you up in the night. Gives you something to dream about later, right?”
“Oh? Is that something you’ve learned there by waking up your male patients? I’m guessing they’d have a hard time getting back to sleep at all, much less per chance to dream!”
“LOLLLLL. Does that mean you’ll have a HARD time getting back to sleep when I’m done with you? Or do you need me to reach into your nightstand and make you take one of your blue pills? I know you have them, don’t you? All you oldsters are asking for a prescription. Admit it. Am I right, Harold? Say it out loud, and I’ll let you reach in and get one. Else no, keep your hands out of that drawer. Understand me, Mister???”
“What blue pill?” (I played dunb.)
“Ok, so that’s the way ya wanna play this, do you, Harold? Lying to your nurse? Ok then, like I said, keep your hands outta that drawer. Nurse CeCe is writing it in your chart right now. No pill for you, Mister! “
“You’ve been bad, Mister Harold. So no pills, and no fun for you for my next 4 hours. Too bad, too, because I might have enjoyed hearing all about it after making you take one. But not now, Mister. You keep your hands above those sheets, too, where I can see ’em. No funny business, you hear me?”
“Dang, CeCe, what’s got into you? I was just sleeping peacefully, and here you are waking me up and telling me what I can and can’t do in my own home and my own bed?”
“Oh, so you think I can’t? You think Nurse CeCe hasn’t dealt with oldster studs like you before? Wanna try a test of mine, Mister?”
“Oldster Stud, you say? Haha. You wish. So, sure, what kind of test do you have for an Older Stud?”
“Easy. You’re all the same. You’ll do exactly what Nurse CeCe prescribes. No exceptions. And to prove it, call me, yes right now. And put your phone on Speaker, and I’ll give you your test.”
She’s so cute, isn’t she? So of course I played along and hit the Call button. And put her on speaker, awaiting her fun little voice. I’m sure her male patients all love her to death. So sure, I’ll play along. What’s a little lost sleep in the night?
“Good boy. Ok Mister, here’s Nurse CeCe’s easy little test. If you were telling me the truth a moment ago, and effectively calling Nurse CeCe a liar, and if you have no little blue pills in your nightstand, then I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and let you be right, and I won’t bother you again sbout it, ever, I promise — simply hit the red button, hang-up and go back to sleep. That’s all. So do it if you can! Else, you’re admitting you lied to me, Mister, and are prepared for the consequences of lying to Nurse CeCe. Ok, so go on. Hang-up on me if you can.”
“I’m waiting. Do it. Hang-up on your personal nurse. Go ahead, Mister. Can’t you do it?”
WTF? This is crazy.
“I’m waiting, Harold! What’s the matter, Harold, are your hands tied and can’t reach the phone? Did your little nursy tie em up over your head to the bed? We do that sometimes, y’know. For our badboy patients. Are you a badboy patient, Harold? Did you lie to Nurse CeCe and now she’s tied your hands up to the headboard? If so, GET EM UP THERE, MISTER! And leave em there.”
I cannot believe this, I’m playing along. I see my hands actually raising up and reaching back for the steel frame above me.
“You did it, didn’t you, Harold. Tell Nurse CeCe what you just did.”
“I did what you said. What choice did I have? You know your patients better than I gave you credit for.”
“And you lied to me, right harold? Say it.”
“Yes, I suppose I did, CeCe.”
“That’s NURSE CeCe, to you old man! And you DID lie to me; there’s no supposing about it. So now you will pay the price. Take off those old man pj’s — I want you naked on your bed. I require my bad patients to stay naked. It serves you right. Now do it!”
“Yes, Nurse CeCe.”
“Now tie each of your jammies to the headboard’s cornerposts, leaving a slip-loop for each hand, Harold. That’s what I do here in the ward for bad patients. And you know what comes next, don’t you, Harold? Wiggle your hands into each of them. Are you ready for what comes next, Harold?”
Dang! But I follow her orders. At least I can no doubt wiggle them back out. I’d hate to actually be unable to free myself. How embarrassing.
“Yes, Nurse CeCe.”
“When I count to three, I want you to jerk them hard and tight. One… Two… “
WTFFFFF???? No way. No fucking way I’m doing that, sexy little nurse or not. Shit no.
Motherfuck! I can’t believe my hands tensed, then jerked TIGHT! Fuck me!
“You did it, didn’t you, Harold? ALL my old boys do. I don’t even have to do it to them — they do it to themselves. You all just simply can’t control youselves, can you? So you deserve whatever Nurse CeCe has ahead for you. Don’t you, Mister?”
“I can’t believe I actually did that, CeCe. You’ll have to come let me out when you get off your shift, ok?”
“You didn’t answer my question, so that’s an extra punishment, Mister. Let’s try again. You deserve whatever’s coming, don’t you?”
“Yes, Nurse CeCe. But promise me you’ll come untie me later.”
“Never you mind about that; you just do what Nurse CeCe prescribes and you’ll be ok. But don’t cross her. She’s not so nice if her boys don’t obey. Got it?”
“Ok, good boy, Harold. Now, the truth: You do have some blue pills in your nightstand, don’t you, old boy?”
“Yes. A few.”
“Did my boss, the Doctor, prescribe them?”
“Yes, Ma’am. Remember you were the one who got me in as one of his patients?”
“Of course I did. He’s pretty much one of ‘my boys’, too. You all do what a young blond nursy tells you to do, don’t you? No need to answer that — you all do. So tell me, Harold, what does your chart say precisely from your last physical Doctor gave you?”
“I’m sure it says I’m in excellent health.”
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, Harold. So that’s another punishment in a moment. Do you want to try for 3? Or do you want to tell me exactly the measurement that Doctor took and wrote in your chart and underlined it? Remember, I can easily check his charts, you know. I always do. And he and I have a good laugh every now and again. So tell me, did we laugh at your chart? You know we did. Ok, so say it out loud: Exactly, what measurement did he write down and underline? Even punctuated it!”
“Good boy. That’s right. You just saved youself another punishment from Nurse CeCe. So, here’s a bonus question. If you guess it right, I’ll remove one of your punishments. You’d like that, wouldn’t you Harold? It could save you a few hours tied to your bed, y’know. Yes? But get it wrong, and you get the big 3rd punishment – Strike 3. So guess carefully. You know me, and my hubby, right? So… Did I tell him about your chart, Harold? Yes or no?”
Dawn light is starting to peek into my bedroom, and it’s embarrassing enough already, seeing my naked self tied securely to my bed, while this vixen of a friend is intimating that she may have told her husband about my smallish dick. And judging from looking at her, she probably married the largest cock at County Hospital. Dang. I can scarcely bring myself to answer her.
“Yes, you told him, didn’t you? And those records are supposed to be highly confidential! I will be so humiliated when I see him at the dogpark next time.”
“LOL. Of course you will, haha. But at least you saved yourself one punishment when I get off my shift. But you still have one coming, don’t you, Harold?”
“So… when I get off. You want me to come right over. True?”
“And would you want me to carry out your prescribed punishment right away? Or leave you tied up while I take a nap next to you, and do it later? Which?”
“Oh please, CeCe, get it over with and let me go. My hands are already going a little numb.”
“Oh I don’t know, Harold. Since you can’t seem to remember my name is Nurse CeCe to you, maybe I should let you stay the way you are so you can work on your manners. Y’think?”
“I’m so sorry NURSE CeCe. Yes, please come quickly and get it over with?”
“If you insist, Harold. So, did you ever see my white, heavy-soled nurse’s shoes?”
“Well they’re quite comfy. For me, that is. But some of my bad boy patients say they hurt like the dickens. Would you like me to hurry right over and get it over with, Harold? And know first-hand what they’re talking about? I promise you the experience of a lifetime (or at least the lifetime of your little babymakers, haha) if you say yes… Or…”
“Or of course, you could always beg me for a much kinder, gentler consequence of your actions tonight. I could… I suppose… always prescribe something from among our hospital’s various solutions. You know, something not so dramatic or harmful to your little guys down there. Usually my badboys on the ward end up choosing from among the softer, more gentle solutions. But it’s up to you, Harold. What will it be: Will you prefer seeing me standing over you on your bed, lining up my nursey shoes for a few good shots on goal with yer little fellas… or what’s behind equipment cabinet #3? Make up your mind quickly though, I’d have some paperwork to do before I get off if you choose the latter. Or maybe you’d want to save me the headache and let me just do the ‘Nurses Boogie’ on your privates. Which?”
“Oh please, the softer alternative, ok Miss?”
“Well, ok, if you insist, Harold. I’ll fill out the necessary forms to requisition and go down to the basement and pick up just the right sized device from the Medical Equipment cage. The night manager there is another of m’boys — he always aims to please his little Nursey CeCe.” LOL
“Thank you, Nurse CeCe. And please hurry. It’s light outside and I left my window blinds open. It would be so humiliating if my neighbors wake up before you get here. Please!”
“Oh fun! Ok, don’t worry, honey. I’ll be right there and get you all fixed up just fine. This can just be our little secret — no need for the whole neighborhood to know. So just cooperate when I come tap on your window. You can shout your door-code nice and loud for me, right?”
“Oh shit yeah, please hurry Miss!”
“Ok Sweetie. And what fun. I’ve never seen one of my boys so anxious for one of our devices. See you soon. Don’t go away.”