“I want you helpless going into this, alright pet?” I gulped, looking at the coil of red silk rope my Lady held in her hands. We’d practiced plenty with the ropes before, working on knots and testing simple binds. Making sure I knew at least the basics of the ropework, just in case. It had at all times been fun. A learning experience mixed with flirtation and bonding, but we’d never done anything quite so expansive as what my Lady proposed now.

“Nothing too tight or uncomfortable. Nothing we haven’t tried before. I’m thinking a simple body harness with specific binds for your arms and legs. Basic box for the arms and and a frog tie for your legs.” The basic box is easy. I’ve worn that tie before as part of our practice. Something to keep my arms behind my back, hands close to opposite elbows, and unable to separate them. A frogtie was similarly simple, just enough to keep my legs folded in on themselves, unable to unbend them.

A harness could look like anything. We’d done a couple non restrictive ones just to see how they feel. It was nice, cozy almost, but it took a lot of time, a lot of effort and patience to get it right. Normally that wouldn’t be a issue, but…

I cast my eyes down to the bed, embarrassed and frustrated. My cock tingled in my pants, excited by the proposal even as my mind struggled to discover the energy. Today was rough. I wore myself out pretty early and I’d been looking forward to getting home and relaxing, to just… cuddling for a little while, being with each other. Maybe eating some ice cream and watching a fun movie together.

My hands fidgeted in my lap, while I walked myself through what to say, how to say it. I really didn’t want to disappoint her. She looked so excited. My eyes darted back up to hers to see some of the excitement had waned. One of her hands settled over mine. My fidgeting stopped.

“Everything ok?” Her voice held a hint of worry. “If this is too much too early, all you have to do is say so.”

I shook my head, mouth opening but my voice caught in my throat. The frustration started to create in me. Frustration at myself. Frustration at not being in the right headspace to play when she wanted to. My heart rate picked up, my body started to tremble

“It’s not that,” I finally managed to get out. “I just… I’m not…” I stumbled through my words and then trailed off entirely.

She leaned in, setting the rope apart and wrapping her arms around me. I pulled myself into the hug, shifting as she did so we were sitting closer, more comfortable as I wrapped my arms around her in turn.

“It’s ok,” she murmured. “Just say what’s on your mind.

I took a deep breath and it came in starts and stutters. “I don’t think I have the spoons to… to sit here for an hour while we figure everything out.”

Her embrace tightened. “That’s all you had to say.” Her words and tone were meant to be soothing but they did little to help me calm down. I held her back, squeezing harder, feeling tears creep into my eyes. “You’re at all times allowed to say no.”

“I… I know… I just… I hate that I’m not… I hate that I’m not in the right place right now.” My voice trembled. “I know you put so much wondered and effort into all of this and how much fun you have with it and I don’t want to let you down or disappoint you and I want to be in the mood sooooo bad right now I just-” My voice broke and I just sat there in her arms, eyes closed, fighting back tears.

We sat there and my Lady began to hum. A quiet, simple tune. She leaned into me, setting her chin on my shoulder. Her mouth was right beside my ear and the gentle sound of her hums and her breathing provided something outside of my own head to focus on. I listened and I breathed. The emotions of the moment raced through me as though I wasn’t safe and held.

I don’t know how long we sat like that, but eventually I felt myself wearing out. The panicked flutters of my heart subsided and my breathing slowed. My whole body ached from exertion.

Finally, my Lady’s arms withdrew and the humming trailed off. She shifted, and though my eyes were closed, I could feel her gaze. I could imagine the look of worry on it. The corners of her lips turned down in that frown she gets when she’s thinking hard. Her eyes glistening with a mix of concern and sadness. I hated it… I hated putting her in that position…

I felt a bump against my forehead and then my Lady’s breath tickling across my face. It smelled minty. She whispered. “Look at me for a second…”

I slowly inched my eyes open, and I saw her looking at me, not quite as I’d imagined, but close. I gave her a weak, apologetic smile and she smiled back. “Sorry,” I murmured, voice weak but not trembling.

“It’s ok. You’re at all times allowed to say no. We can experiment with the ropes some more another time. Do you need anything from me?”

“Umm… some water would be really nice right now…”

She slowly detached from me, leaning down from the bed, hand reaching for the bedside table. She pulled a water bottle from the draw, already stashed there for aftercare no doubt. She unscrews the cap and I carefully take it from her. As I sip down a few mouthfuls, she continues, “Anything else?”

“I… I want to spend time with you, but… low effort. Please…” I cast my eyes down at the request, feeling guilty for it. I knew I shouldn’t, I knew she was right, that I could say no any time… It still felt bad every time…

She nodded. “movie night?”

“Mmm,” I nod back. “That would be great…”

“Come on then.” She took my hand, gently guiding me off the bed and out into the sitting room. I took a seat on our little couch, and she went searching for the remote. When she joined me, she pulled me down so my head was resting on her lap. With one hand manning the remote and the other stroking my hair, I finally started to relax.

She picked a movie, an old favorite of ours, about a prince cursed by a dying god traveling to distant lands to put the god’s spirit to rest and hopefully save his life in the process. I drifted, not paying much attention but able to follow along because of how often I’ve seen the movie before. Mostly I was just happy to be here, close to my Lady, comfortable, able to recuperate after an abysmal day.

As the movie played, her hands played through my hair; brushing and stroking, patting and pampering. It was lovely. Soothing in a way that words never were. I relaxed into her touch and soon the beautiful music of the movie lulled me to sleep.

———-

By the time I woke, the credits had begun. I still lay in my Lady’s lap, her hand still lay on my head. This… this was wonderful. Waking up in her arms, calm, at peace. A contented sigh slipped from my lips and I heard the melodic chuckle of my Lady in response. “Welcome back to the land of the living,” she said jokingly.

I rolled over to look up at her and she smiled down on me, contentment of her own evident in her face. That, seeing her happy here, reassured me more than anything else all night. I smiled back up at her.

“What time is it?” I managed to murmur.

“Late. But not so late you should move to the bed.” She picked a strand of hair from my face, brushing it to the side so it didn’t hang over my eye. “How are you feeling?”

“Better… A lot better…”

She leaned down to press her lips to my forehead. She spoke softly, lips a hair’s breadth from my skin, “I’m really glad to hear that. Need anything?”

“Some water would be nice,” she started to slide out from under me, “but I can get it myself.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

I pulled myself into a sitting position, feeling my body complain all the while. When I stood, I stretched, arms raised high over my head. I held the position for a bit, straining, searching for that satisfying pop, but it never came.

I moved to the kitchen, fished a glass out of the cupboard and used our filter pitcher to fill it half way. I gulped that down, faster than I needed to, and then filled it more generously. On my way out I stopped by the snack cupboard to grab a packet of cheesy cracker bites.

Back in the tv room I slumped down into our saggy couch and ripped open the snack packet. Even as her hand started to reach for me, I held the bag out, letting my Lady steal away a handful. She grinned over at me and it proved infectious. My own face cracked into a smile.

“You know exactly what I like. Good boy,” she teased. Her other hand reached out and tapped on my head twice in quick succession. I blushed a little but focused on my snack, munching away and taking sips of water as she chose another movie. She kept to the theme, picking another animated film, this one about a young girl who gets cursed with age by an evil witch after accidentally finding herself entangled with a handsome wizard.

I munched on the snack, drank my water and watched the movie gladly. Part way through my Lady leaned over, resting her head against my shoulder, hand grasping for the snack bag again. She got her snacks, but stayed there while she ate. I leaned my own head into hers so we pressed into one another, supporting each other.

Eventually my glass was empty and the empty snack bag discarded on the nearby table. My mind wandered away from the movie, settling on the woman beside me. The heat of her body against mine. The weight of her head on my shoulder. The smell of her shampoo, mostly faded since this morning. This was lovely. She was lovely. Sometimes it felt unreal that someone as energetic and fun and awesome as her was so supportive and understanding of me. Tonight though, was not one of those nights. My anxieties were quiet, my mind calm, my self refreshed.

I kissed her softly atop her head.

“Mmm?” I heard her hum questioningly.

“Just thinking how lucky I am,” I murmur back

I heard her chuckle softly in response. “Damn right mister.”

My smile widened a little more at hearing the joking energy behind the comment. I couldn’t help it.

“You know,” I continued softly. “I’m feeling a lot more like myself than I was a couple hours ago. If I didn’t completely kill the mood already… I’d be down for something simple.”

She shifted beneath me, pulling away and looking up, eyes searching. “You’re not just saying that right? Because if I understand you’re pretending so I can have some fun with you, there will be consequences when you’re back in top shape.”

She said it jokingly, but I could hear the underpinning seriousness of her words. Her concern for me. That, more than anything else, made me positive of my answer. I shook my head. “Not just saying. I still don’t think shibari’s on the table, but something simple, something lower effort for both of us, if you want to. If you have any ideas.” I meant every word.

She studied me for a moment longer before nodding, seemingly satisfied with my response. “In that case…” she trailed off, lost in thought. When she continued, her tone was lower, more serious. The tone of voice that indicated she expected to be obeyed. “Why don’t you clean up a bit,” she gestured at the snack packet and glass, “and turn the tv off. Then wait here until I return.” She rose, hand trailing up my arm and shoulder, resting on my cheek for just a moment. “Be right back pet.”

My cheek tingled at the contact, a shiver ran down my body at the name. “Yes M’Lady.” With that, she departed for the bedroom. I hurried to straighten up the space a little. Trash in the bin, water glass refilled and set out of the way. I gave the area a once over for any small messes from previous days and then turned off the tv, leaving the space to be lit by a single lamp in the corner. With that, I sat and waited.

My foot bounced against the floor, equal parts excited and nervous. I trusted my Lady to keep this light and easy, and that meant most of the nervousness was from the uncertainty of what that would entail. Thankfully, I wasn’t left to wonder for long.

She returned from the bedroom, confident in her stride. In her hands she carried a set of leather cuffs and a black marker. “Undress for me, pet.” I hurried to obey, practically leaping to my feet. My shirt was already half off by the time she finished, “But leave your underwear on.”

I pulled my shirt the rest of the way off and nodded, “Yes M’Lady.” Socks and pants quickly followed suit. I neatly folded them and set them off to the side before standing straight. My eyes met hers and she made a little twirly motion with her finger, so I turned my back to her.

“Show me your hands.” I held my hands behind me, presenting them to her as much as my shoulders would allow. I felt the soft faux fur lining of the leather cuffs wrap around my left wrist. “You remember what it means when I bind your wrists like this, right pet?” I nodded, already feeling myself relax just a little bit more. I heard the clink of the buckle as the cuff was secured. “Show me.”

“The… the binding of my wrists signifies a loss of power,” I recite. A practiced line from early in our relationship. “In this moment I am surrendering myself to you. I give you the power to make choices for me, to decide what’s best for me. I do this because I trust you and because it feels good. I trust that you will not abuse this power over me.” She hummed, satisfied, as she took my other wrist, wrapping it in leather and faux fur before linking the two cuffs with a thin metal chain.

A hand on my shoulder pulled me around to face her, and then another on my chest pushed me down on the couch. My Lady stood over me, observing me with a playful, confident smile. “Good. Now, I want you to listen closely, pet. You had me very worried earlier tonight. You’ve had a bad day and you’re not at one hundred percent. Therefore, I want to begin by reminding you that you have a safeword and the traffic light system. If at any point I go past simple and easy as you were thinking it, you will say so. No toughing it out. Am I understood?”

“Yes M’Lady.” My voice was steady but my thoughts hitched. I didn’t want to do that. To lie to her. Just as much, I didn’t want to disobey. I’d be extra careful. Tonight wasn’t about pushing past my limits for her sake. Tonight was about taking care of myself. She left me no choice. I nodded, forcing myself to accept that.

“Good boy.” Her hand reached out to cup my cheek, holding me there for a moment. She held my gaze, eyes boring down into mine. They were beautiful. Deep pools that drew me in and pinned me down. Capable of binding me in place even without restraints. There was a time when holding eye contact like this made me squirm in discomfort, but these days, it was easy to relax into it. To enjoy being her focus of attention.

I felt heat slowly building in my cheeks. I may be more used to it, but it’s still a little embarr- “You’re gorgeous.” My thoughts hitched, the compliment shutting me down like a computer struggling to buffer a video. The trickle of heat in my face became a flood. I could almost imagine my face glowing red in the near darkness. Before I could reboot and respond, she let go of my face. Uncapping the marker, she leaned in, and I felt the thin tip gently stroke against my forehead. “Gorgeous,” she murmured as she wrote.

She pulled away, standing above me once again. She smiled, her face equal parts loving and mischievous. “I want you to repeat after me, pet. I am gorgeous.”

“I…” my mind still reeled, my voice was quiet, my eyes still trapped by hers. “I’m… I’m gorgeous…”

“Good boy.” While it wasn’t the first time she’d spoken those words tonight, they affected me more deeply now. A warm, melty glow filled my mind, oozing into the space where my thoughts and concerns were moments ago.

Her thumb traced the word, gently rubbing back and forth across my forehead. After a moment, she brought it around, trailing down the side of my face, circling to my lips where it likewise traced them, back and forth. “I Love your lips.” She leaned in, resting her body against mine. Her hand took my chin in a gentle grip and she kissed me. It was short, but she left me breathing heavy, face flushed, mind a little hazzier when she pulled away.

Her gaze lingered on me. “Ohhh… I Love that face, pet. The one you make when you get swept up in my momentum, lost in my games and teasing. Just don’t get too lost. Remember, you need to be taking care of yourself. That was an order.”

I nodded, fighting back the haze a little bit. The sub space felt wonderful, but she was right. I tried my best to focus through the tingles and shivers she was creating in my brain.

While doing that her marker touched chin, “First,” I heard her mutter with a smile on her face. “Cannot let myself get too distracted either.” She wrote a word that started just below my lips and curved up onto my cheek. The tip of the marker tickled as it scrapped against my evening stubble. “Luscious…” She murmured. “Repeat. You have luscious lips.”

“I have… I have luscious lips.” I spoke more cleanly last time, fighting through the stammering that so often creeped into my voice while my Lady wielded her power over me.

“Good boy.” Her hand stroked my hair, rewarding me with the words that made the molten ooze of my mind pulse gently. Little tingles of joy and pleasure radiated through me.

Her marker touched temple, a much shorter gap between before this word than the previous, like she knew exactly what she was going to write this time. “Easy. My pet’s so delightfully easy to tease and wrap around my fingers. I Love that about you so much. So say it, pet. You are my easy pet.”

A full body shiver rocked my body as my lips parted to respond. “I am your easy pet, M’Lady.”

“Goooood boooy.” I moaned as the warm tingles cascaded through me. “Oooooh, I liked that,” she said coaxingly. “I wonder if I can make you give me more of those sweet sweet moans before we’re done…” Both hands moved to my chest, fingers tickling circles around my nipples. “Buuuuut… that can wait.” The tickling stopped and next I felt her, it was her hand gently rubbing my upper arm.

“I noticed you’ve got some more definition here.” She gently squeezed, massaging my bicep with slow strokes of her hand. “Looks like all that exercise is paying off, slowly but surely.” She kneeled on the couch beside me, marker in hand. “You are strong, devoted, focused.” Three words on my arm.

“I am strong, devoted, focused.” I didn’t fully believe those words, but saying them filled me with a little rush of confidence. I have been working hard to get myself fit, and if my Lady sees progress, if she likes that progress, I should be able to do the same.

She leaned in close, lips almost brushing my ear as she whispered my reward. The physical tingle of her breath against my ear joined the mental ones moving down my body. A sigh slipped from lips and a giggle slipped from hers in response.

I watched her return to my chest, marker at the ready. “Your nipples are so cute,” she said as she wrote ‘cute’ over one of them. “Makes me want to tweak and pinch and nibble on them.” She did just that, fingers gripping the nub of my left nipple, pulling, pinching, twisting just a little. The mixed pain and pleasure forced a gasp from my lips. She grinned and released, bringing the marker up to my other nipple and writing above it. “Teasable,” she murmured. “Your nipples are cute and teasable.” She looked me back in the eyes expectantly.

“My… my nipples are… They are cute and teasable.” I forced out, feeling my face flush harder all the while. I looked down in embarrassment, and only heard her coo her response, another little wave of subby pleasure through my body. I saw my cock twitch, still contained within my underwear.

My Lady set a hand on my knee, gently pushing it to the side. I capitulated, spreading my legs for her, and she kneeled between them. She looked up at me and I saw the mischievous glint in her eye she often got when she was toying with me, but I also saw the unmitigated joy of seeing me flustered and embarrassed. My cheeks practically glowed as more heat built within them.