Joel & Mrs. Zane 01

Ahh, the day after the business Christmas party, right? A day to relax and nurse the hang over and to search all social media for the embarrassing moments that may have already been posted. And a day to be surprised when a cop unexpectantly shows up in your driveway in an unmarked car. And by the way, the way cops beat on the front door seems even louder when you’re nursing a hangover.

“Mr. Jones? Mr. Joel Jon Jones? I’m Detective Zane and I have a few questions to ask you. So, let me into your house so we can talk or we can do this downtown!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Detective Zane. Please stop yelling so loudly. I have neighbors, you know. And a major headache, so come inside.”

“Well, technically I just got off of my shift, so you may call me Mrs. Detective Zane, but don’t trying lying to me because I’m still following up with official business! And by the way, since you’re hung over and you answered the door in just your boxer shorts, well, you just sit on your couch and stay that way.”

“Mrs. Detective Zane, not only is my middle name truthful, it’s also my nickname too, so how can I help you and by the way, I’m innocent.”

“Shut it and sit still on the couch for momma, I mean Mrs. Detective Zane. Now look, the authorities often search social media for clues to help us nab the bad guys and I came across something about you that leads me to believe that there is a crime being committed here and I’m going to get to the bottom of things.”

“Mrs. Detective Zane, I assure you that there is nothing crazy or illegal on my social media, so I’m innocent. Ugh, I need a coffee. Do you need a coffee Mrs. Detective Zane?”

“Shut it fly boy and listen up. I don’t even bother with your social media anymore because I’m sick and tired of reading your blogs about how many Middleton MILFs you have been fucking since last April. I’m here because of your two little chicklet friends Cindi and Mindi and the clues they dished out about you a few nights ago on their social media. So, you just sit still pretty boy while I follow up on their gossip and stop trying to cover yourself up! Hands to side where I can’t see them, criminal, to the side I say!”

“But Mrs. Detective Zane, Cindi and Mindi merely suggested a 3-way tag team evening while we were mingling at the office Christmas party. We haven’t followed through, yet. Besides, it’s not illegal to have office affairs, right? So, are these hand cuffs really necessary? Also, do all Detectives carry cock rings in their side pouches?”

“Shut it because I just said it, I’m tired of hearing about how quickly you can recover! Anyways, I’m investigating you because your two little unsuspecting hotties let it be known that you are allegedly housing two mannequins in your bedroom and that one of the mannequins is topless, topless I say.”

“But Mrs. Detective Zane, is that a crime? And since when is it a crime to allegedly have two shapely mannequins on either side of my bed who watch over me as I sleep at night? I swear, I’m innocent of any crime! Besides, Brenda Doll has a bikini top, but it kept slipping off, but I fixed that yesterday before the company Christmas party when I had access to a power staple gun.”

“No, Mr. Joel Jon Jones, it’s not a crime because they are just stupid plastic and fabric Ho’s! So, it’s a shame, not a crime, but it feels like a crime when I have real boobs, Joel, real flesh and blood boobs I say.”

Whew! I feeling better about not gonna jail with a hangover.

“And by the way, female Detectives are only busty in the movies and on TV. I know you’re drooling over my chest, but I wear a policewoman’s bra and it holds two extra weapons, so don’t be disappointed when you rip my shirt open and start sucking on my regular size titties!”

Wow, I have sucked on a lot of titties since last April, haven’t I? I mean, more than my fair distribute, not that I’m complaining or quitting.

“And not one word about the size of my Ass, criminal. There isn’t a lot of crime in Middleton and I sit on my Ass a lot, so shut it. And by the way, now that you have latched onto my exposed chest, maybe it has been a crime that I have gone so long without this kind of loving, so I’m just going to release these hand cuffs now, but I’m still going to straddle your lap like this to restrain you! Also, wow Joel, my titties feel so much bigger now by the way you working them over with your mouth, hands and lips, so good job, criminal.”

Like I said, I’ve sucked on a whole lot of boobs over the past seven or eight months and I managed to pick up on a few things along the way.

“I think it’s time for me to search you for weapons Joel and I’m starting with your night stick and I mean your very enticing and hard night stick. And I haven’t seen for a while Joel, so don’t get excited if things get a little wet and sloppy down here.”

All hail boxer shorts, right? Failing to hold back or contain a boner since they were invented.

“Wow, Mrs. Detective Zane, I guess I will peacefully surrender to you after that. And you don’t need an official search warrant to search my bedroom so you can verify for your report that I haven’t modified either of the two mannequins by drilling holes in their lower areas. However, if you find that their mouths have been somewhat modified, well, Mrs. Detective Zane, I was framed, framed I say! Also, I watch cop shows on TV, so I know you don’t need to put your shirt back on to search my bedroom.”

And stop with the eye brow raising folks, the two mannequins already had slightly open mouths. I just drilled them out a little deeper, but the bottom areas are still in the condition that they came with.

“Well, I don’t feel like doing the paperwork for mannequin mouth openings that were only slightly opened with power tools, but you don’t need these fabric and plastics whores anymore, Joel. You have what I need and I have what you need, so are we together now or not? And it’s OK for you to want a test drive before you answer that, you know, to check things out, from on top and from behind, two or three times.”

Well, she said it was OK to fuck her first before putting a ring on, so, you know, right? I put the pedal to the metal and took my new Detective woman for a test drive. Two or three times.

“Fine, you win, ooh, you win Joel, ooh, I submit, I submit, I submit, Joel and OMG, if I ever wondered what it felt like to run a jack hammer, well, I’m wondering no more, right baby? OMG, fuck you and that move right there, just fuck you, Joel and drill me harder. Ahh, oh, ahh, oh Joel, you’re screwing me silly baby, screwing me silly I say.” Huh? Ah, oops? Was that a oops, Joel?”

“Mrs. Detective Zane, if you have been stalking me on social media as you have claimed, then you know the game, which means you know damn well that I will be ready to go again by the time you roll over and get properly positioned on your hands and knees.”

“Of course, I know all about that honey, but your Sex blogs are quite detailed and all of your other girlfriends at all times went “oops” just as their juices were beginning to run down their thick thighs, so I wondered it might be a part of your relationship bed routine. You know, like your standard relationship bed pillow talk and I’m eager to play my part baby and by the way, yes, I said that “all” of your history book girlfriends had and still have thick thighs, so you Love me now, right Joel?”

“Oh yeah, Mrs. Detective Zane, I fell in Love with you the moment you took the handcuffs of me on the couch so I better push your mouth down on my cock, so yeah, I Love you and your regular size thighs.”

“Good baby. And speaking of your list of 25 history book relationship bed whores, you’re gonna handle that, right Joel? Or do I have to begin arresting people? And Brenda Doll can stay because I know men like that sort of figure on a woman, but I’m taking Linda Doll back to the station and putting her in the evidence room! Or the break room for the other Detectives. Anyways, as your new woman, I’ll just shut it now because I can clearly see that your recovery time passes the lie detector test.”

LOL, I’m going to miss Linda Doll, but supporting your local law enforcement agency is important for community safety and all. Besides, Linda Doll was kind of a Diva anyways.

“Oops, no, no, baby, you don’t need to reach for another condom. I’m safe, so you can coat my insides without fear.”

“Thanks for that Mrs. Detective Zane, but until I know the back story about the status of your husband or ex-husband, then we should go about things this way.”

“Fine, I’ll tell you the back story, but I promise it’s in my favor, so leave the condom on the night stand and scoot forward just as you are.”

I mean, there is always a back story, right?

“OMG, wow, when you scoot forward, wow, you really scoot forward, baby! Alright, ooh, ooh, here goes. My back story is weird honey and OMG, how the hell am I supposed to concentrate on my words when you’re giving me this sort of pounding, again? Ah, ooh, my back story ends with this being our favorite position, but it started with two society outcasts who needed to present a ordinary image and OMG Joel, do you have a magic cock or something? Anyways, he had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, but we needed to seem ordinary to help our careers, so we got married in Vegas. And yeah, yeah, yeah, Joel, I know that was stupid and all, but it worked. Also, wow Joel, I missed a lot by not stalking you earlier than this and by the way, yes, you do have a magic cock and as far as I am concerned, it has found a new home.”

“Wait a minute Mrs. Detective Zane, are you saying that you have been in a fake marriage for the last 12 years and divorce never came up? These are modern times, you know.”

“Joel, I’m saying that you just left your third nut inside of me, so call me Zia. And after a while, yeah, it just became our ordinary fake life.”

“Oh, that’s fine Zia, but where I was going with this is if you realize that there two uniformed officers standing behind us in the bedroom door and watching me give you the wood.”

“Don’t worry about them baby, I called in for backup to drag that Diva Linda Doll mannequin the hell out of here kicking and screaming in handcuffs. I don’t mind you ogling over Brenda Doll and her figure, but our relationship bedroom has no room for Diva Linda Doll’s hips! No room I say.”

“And Brenda Doll gets to stay behind for the days when I work late and you’re here home alone?”

“Fine Joel, if I had a dick, I would do Brenda Doll too, just like I know you do, but I promise, Brenda Doll will be the only woman I bring into our relationship bed.”

Well folks, my adventures may (or may not) have come to an end. It seems that I might risk being arrested and jailed with the worse of the worst if I don’t keep Detective Zia Zane as my committed girlfriend. At least until she retires from the force or goes back to her ex-girlfriend.

End Joel & Mrs. Zane 01