Well, hells bells, right? It never occurred to me that they would provide popcorn, soda and chocolates at the ribbon cutting ceremony for the grand reopening of the restored old movie theater, but cool, right?

“Welcome one and welcome all to grand reopening of the restored old historical movie theater, where, by the way, some of you may have been conceived. Anyways, I’m Mrs. Utes, the official tour guide and curator of the theater and I welcome you all with open arms. However, for reasons unknown to me, I must now step aside and let the stuffy old biddy from the Society Club completely take over and act like the Society Club is Middleton’s savior. So, without any further ado, but with much cat fighting hatred, I’ll turn the microphone over to Head Society Club Lady Mrs. Tanner and remember audience, it’s illegal for anyone to perform CPR if you’re not properly licensed, just in case she starts choking on her Free popcorn.”

(Applauses from the crowd).

“Thank you, Mrs. Used Up Ursula Utes and welcome to all of you who have found the time in your busy days to attend today’s ceremony with the hopes of seeing a serious cat fight. As you know, the Society Club funds and supports all types of events in Middleton, so we are the savior of our fair city. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.”

Well, they should have put all that on the announcement flyers, right? There would have been a much bigger crowd.

“Oh no, young man, you come this way. I think you deserve a very special and personal guided tour of the restored historical theater and if I may, I think it should start inside of my curator’s office where you can take my Pussy, which we will follow up with a little butt Sex upstairs in the projection room and after all that, you can pick any of the four small theater rooms where I will suck your cock dry. Any questions about our schedule for the day? By the way, I know how to position the lights in the projection room if you want our doggie style shadows visible through the frosted window as you long dick my Ass.”

Questions? I might have a few questions, said no man ever!

“And to be clear, obviously I’m too old and fat to be your woman, but I’ll be available to you at any time, day or night. Also, OMG, because it’s the nice thing to do, OMG, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Tina Tanner has never seemed so happy, so good job champ. But I wouldn’t be mad at all if you made her sloppy seconds to me, I’m just saying.”

“And just where were we starting the guided tour as Head Society Club Lady Mrs. Tanner continues to ramble on and wave at the crowd, Mrs. Utes?”

“Well Joel, as I just stated, it starts with your cock in my used-up Pussy in the office, then it continues upstairs where it swings around the back, where I have come to learn that my faggot husband may have been onto something, and then it ends with me making a dental appointment to repair all the damage you’re going to do to my mouth. Can I safely assume that our question-and-answer session is over now?”

Duh. I’m not exactly sure what “looking a gift horse in the mouth” means, but I wasn’t about to ask that question.

“Oh Joel, baby, I’m sorry that you had to help me lift my fat Ass onto the desk, but, ooh, it’s worth it, right stud? And OMG, no wonder Tina Tanner has been so happy lately. You got some moves, honey.”

“Hey, your hips are rocking right along with me Mrs. Utes, so this is team work.”

“Oh, oh, OMG, ooh, so, OMG, if it comes up, ooh, ooh, ooh, Joel, ooh, ah, if it comes up baby, I’m in for a tag teaming between you and Tina, I mean, tag me Joel, tag me I say. Oh SOB, SOB, blow that wad in me Joel, blow it baby. OMG, fine, if I can’t be your woman, at least keep me as your side piece slut, baby, just keep me close. I’m ready for it, Joel, give me another 25 pumps and blow baby. Oh, ah oops? Joel, did you just accidently spill your Free grand opening soda on me? Like way up in my Pussy?”

Hey, it’s her bad for not following my MILF blog.

“It’s OK Joel honey, I just texted Tina Tanner and pleaded red pill crazy, so I know you’re coming right back. Also, she might be OK with a 3-way down the road, but I have to you know, be all nice to her and stuff. What a bitch, right? We’ve been cat fighting for years since we caught both of our lousy no-good faggot cheating ex-husbands using the popcorn butter the hard way and now, I have to be nice? The nerve of some people, right Joel? Using popcorn butter the hard way I say, Joel, the hard way!”

“Well, from what I heard, both of your lousy no-good faggot cheating ex-husbands didn’t realize that you and Mrs. Tanner were “experimenting” in the corner of the dark projection and they didn’t know you were there swapping body fluids with Mrs. Tanner, but we’re getting off track.”

“And I see you’re back on track so soon Joel, so, sir, shall I give a guided tour of the projection room now? The projection room where everyone was being gay, but only the lousy no-good cheating faggot ex-husbands had to pay for it in divorce court?”

That’s it! I’m to begin taking night classes to become a divorce lawyer because apparently, there is an infinite stream of lousy no-good cheating faggot ex-husbands to file against.

“Oh, and Joel, I promise Joel, I promise that my Ass and my mouth will be a lot tighter than my used up and worn-out Pussy. Well, Joel, I promise that my mouth will be tight. Joel, when I wrap my hands around your hard cock, it’s going to be hand job grip like you never felt before! I mean, my arthritis and all, but my feet, Joel, my feet, right?”

I mean, club foot isn’t exactly attractive, but my needs were still being serviced, so to the projection room we went. I mean, Mrs. Utes hobbled a bit, but we made it.

“Wow Joel, that’s better, right baby? I can hear you panting. I mean, I’m so loose back there that I can’t feel you, but you’re huffing and puffing, so that’s a good thing, right Joel?”

Well, I was jacking off towards her Ass, but I taking dead aim, so there’s at all times that. And nope, I’m not giving you good folks a chance to respond to that by finishing it a “right”. And if Mrs. Utes wanted to think her thighs were soaked from her own juices, then who was I to say otherwise? LOL, right?

“Alright lover boy, how about theater 2, middle section, row 16? And remember, I already made dental appointment, so do some damage, Joel, make a mess out of my mouth.”

Oh, well, Mrs. Utes had some game in that department, twice. And you know me and my recovery time, so a third time was started. LOL, and then it was interrupted by Mrs. Tanner, I mean, Tina, my woman of the moment.

“Well, I would expect no less from a worn out and used up slut, Ursula. But I hope that you realize that all you’re doing is swallowing his swimmers which reduces my chances of becoming pregnant this late in life, so good job bitch.”

“Well, he blew again as you were scolding me, so do you want to tongue kiss me deep while he recovers to take me for 6th time today, Tina? You can wipe his leftover swimmers from inside of my mouth with your tongue, bitch.”

“Hmmm, well I’m not going to finger bang you unless you give me your ruined panties so I can wrap my dainty Society Club fingers with them, whore.”

“Fine, but only four fingers at a time. Joel was crying about how good my Pussy was for him and I don’t need some Society Club Ho stretching me out (any further).”

“Society Club Ho? Hah! That’s Head Society Club Ho to you, bitch! Or you know, his woman and lady of the house (Ho).”

“Fine, lady of the house! Did you want to tag team his hard cock two at time right now? I seen it Chang and it might be a real thing.”

“Just keep your ugly lips on your side of his fat cock, slut. Anyways, cocktails about 5pm tonight, Ursula?”

“Fine, just expect my fat Ass to be a little late with my club foot and all.”

LOL, just how many times have I had the chance to write “cat fight” in all my adventures, right? Almost too many to count, right?

End Joel & Mrs. Utes 01