Joel & Mrs. Olsen 01

Well, as the fall season goes, shortly after the Labor Day holiday comes the Pumpkin Festival at the fair grounds and everybody attends that festival. It’s at all times fun, it’s pretty cute, the weather is at all times good, there are food tents everywhere, LOL, there beer tents everywhere and all those vendor tents that sell knick-knacks that nobody probably needs, yet everyone walks around with a bag or two in their hands. It’s a social status thing, I’m sure.

“So, Mrs. Olsen, ah, you have obviously visited every vendor tent. Need some help carrying some of these bags to your car? Also, were you planning on having your own festival tomorrow because you got the goods to resell, right?”

“Shut it, Joel and don’t tease me. I have a festival spending problem and I can’t afford to get help! Anyways, it’s kind of a contest between us old folks and I hate being at the bottom. Anyways, yeah, take about 17 of my bags and help me get them to my car. Also, do you do home construction on the side? I think I need a room addition on my cottage house.”

“LOL, you’re funny Mrs. Olsen. So, how’s the divorce coming along?”

“OMG, what a mess, Joel. I can see that the only winner will be my divorce lawyer. Well, my secret bank account won’t come out all that bad, but still, what a mess. I mean, what the hell, right? My lousy no-good cheating faggot soon to be ex-husband gets caught red handed screwing Pumpkins that he and that twinkle toe faggot Butch Jr. drilled holes into and I’m the one who has to be careful about being a side slam piece? I mean, who are the laws protecting? I mean, they were both caught on video using the modified Pumpkins as Sex tools while drooling into each other’s mouth and I can’t sneak over to your house for one week of doggie Sex bliss? I mean, that’s WTF, right Joel?”

“Oh, wow, ah, I missed that video, I guess. They drilled little holes into the Pumpkins, you say? Like a hand-held glory hole or a flesh-light?”

“Well, that’s because Annie Atkins posted the video and it’s well known that you don’t look back much through your rolodex of MILF slam pieces, so that doesn’t surprise me, but I’ll send you the link. Or just go on Chang Gay because they seem to have started a fad with Pumpkin Sex. So, anyways, Joel????”

“Ah come on, Mrs. Olsen, I can’t be responsible for any issues with your divorce proceedings, so hold tight honey, our time will come. Unless….”

“Unless? Unless what? Let’s do some unless. I don’t know much about unless, unless you tell me.”

“Well, and I know this is out there a little, but what if you rode in the back of a SUV, you know, with tinted windows and that SUV parked inside of the safety of my garage and the garage door closes behind said spy SUV and then you safely enter my house through the breezeway? I mean, that’s a fool proof plan, right?”

“Hmmm, interesting, it’s just too bad that I drive a sedan and not an SUV with rear tinted windows. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to wait a while before you officially make me your woman and make your bed our “relationship” bed.”

“Or, and hear me out, if I’m not mistaken, ah, the other Mrs. Olsen drives such a SUV.”

“What? My Sister? My Sister Olivia? Are you crazy? Just how in the hell am I supposed to ruin you with Sex in front of my Sister, Olivia? Are you on drugs these days? Besides, she would never go for that, not to mention that I can’t compete with her amazing body, so forget. I’ll wreck you nine ways from hell in a few weeks or months or whenever the lawyer stops draining my bank account.”

“Your call, Mrs. Olsen, it’s your call. Here is your car, so pop the trunk.”

“Hey, wait a minute, mister! We’ve been having Sex talk, so isn’t this where you start calling me Opal as you poke your fingers around my front, which is right down there waiting for you to poke around?”

Sorry folks, LOL, I didn’t make or write the MILF affair rules, did I? Well, maybe I did a little, but still, there have been rules in place and I have to follow them.

“Ah, geez Mrs. Olsen, that would be breaking the Joel vs Every Middleton MILF rules. I mean, I can’t call you by your first name until I at least pop your trunk, if you know what I mean. I mean, sorry babe, but I didn’t make the rules. And my finger dancing with your crease like this right now doesn’t count, but ooh, la, la, my next “woman in waiting” gets wet quick!”

“Fuck! Damn be the torpedo’s, damn be the rules, I’m sucking your cock right now, Joel!”

And you all noticed that it was all her doing, right? I was absolutely innocent!

“Fine Joel, I’ll talk to my Sister Olivia because there is no way in hell that I’m referring to this as our “relationship” parking lot, but no fair playing favorites in the “relationship” bed! LOL, or give me six months to start a new work out plan because Olivia’s hips, am I right?”

And speaking of ooh, la, la, I mean, they are not twins, but they are both a true and valid Mrs. Olsen. I mean, please folks, am I right about all that? LOL, you’re damn right I’m right! And by the way, the original Mrs. Olsen, Opal Olsen, wasted very little setting up our encounter.

“Alright, I’m here with my Sister Opal and we’re wearing matching lingerie as requested, even though my set is several sizes smaller than hers, so my turn, which way to our special “relationship” bed? I mean, as the special invited guest, I’m first, right?”

Oh yeah, bring on another a cat fight!

“Ah, Olivia, um, it might be best if I go first. Our missile man recovers quickly, but he blows even faster and I want you to get the most out of this. Also, SOB Olivia, you didn’t mention that you were going to shave down there!”

Oh yeah, a Sister MILF cat fight, although Olivia is just barely touching the MILF line, like just a little shy, but who am I to argue with a few months this way or a few months that way?

“Ladies, ladies, ladies, let’s all relax. Anyways, it’s common courtesy that guests go first and because Olivia already played the “special guest” card, well, Mrs. Opal Olsen, maybe you should just hang back and wait for the pizza to arrive? Cool?”

LOL, seriously? She bought that load?

“Wow, Olivia, why haven’t we met before this? And feel Free to claim my bed as our “relationship” at any point in this blog.”

“Joel, my body and my Sex life don’t exactly align, so you might have to walk me through a few things, if that’s alright. But just know that I’m submitting and committing to be your number one forever more.”

“Oh, right now, you own the scale through at least number seven.”

“You like the way I look in this sexy lingerie, Joel?”

“I’m a big-time sucker for a garter belt and a leg garter, Olivia, big time sucker.”

“Good, so we agree that we are going to get started by laying in our ‘relationship” bed in a 69 fashion where you will suck me and I will suck you and don’t worry that you will win. I know about your popular 29 seconds thing and I’m not positive that I have ever seen fireworks, so crack the bedroom door open so that Opal can spy on us and let’s get this started, Tiger.”

“Hey, 34 seconds, mind you, Olivia!”

“OK baby, OK. And do what you will with my thong. Rip it off or push it to the side. I have heard that sometimes men just like to push it apart, so it’s your call babe.”

And yes, I won and no, I wasn’t very good at sucking her between the legs. For some reason, there seems to a lack of that in the Joel vs Every Middleton MILD saga. And before you submit comments about that, nope, I don’t have a good reason for why I never ate at Y much.

“Joel, I’m sorry I choked, spit and gagged lover, but I’m still a little new to that game.”

“And I’m sorry I’m wasn’t so good at that either, but I wondered I got a taste of a burning fuse, Olivia, so maybe you were close to seeing those elusive fireworks?”

“Maybe, Joel and I admit that my loins are burning for you, Tiger Joel, so get between my legs and make your official woman. And I’m super safe baby, so do me and do me crazy.”

Ahh, all of the magical words, right? Burning loins, my woman, super safe and do me and do me crazy.

“Damn Joel, apparently, I’ve never been with a man before, oh, ah, OMG, ooh, let me hook my legs over your shoulders Joel, let me hook you with my Sex! Oh, holy best Sex ever, Joel, fuck you Joel if you don’t make me your Wife Joel, fuck you, if don’t do that!”

Well, I’m engaged with about six others, right? So, why not?

“Marry me, Olivia, I have a dresser drawer full of engagement rings, so take your pick.”

“Ruin me, Joel, cut in me in half and shoot it deep because I know it’s coming baby, I know it’s your time to coat me on the inside.”

Oh, we all know that I can ruin a woman, right? They all beg for it to be over. Wait, what?

“Hmmm, best ever babe and I’m never gonna dump you. And by the way, I locked the bedroom door when I got up to search through your choices of diamond rings. I mean, my older Sister Opal nodded off on the couch anyways, so take my Ass or do me doggie, stud. All I care about is that this bed becomes well known as our “relationship” bed, well known I say.”

And we all know how quickly I can recover, so I took her in each way, that she clearly requested and suggested.

“Tongue kiss me deep, Joel, tongue kiss me deep. And by the way, the butt Sex sort of hurt, so let’s not have that as our thing, OK? I mean, once in a while, but regular, alright?”

“No issue, Olivia, that butt Sex thing is true and straight up MILF stuff and technically, I think you’re just on the outside of true MILF status, looking in, so no issue. But the doggie, right?”

“Oh, that was cool. Anywhere and anytime. But listen, now that I’m absolutely not getting out of our “relationship” bed and now that the left parking spot in the garage is mine and mine only, why don’t you be a dear and drive my older Sister Opal home? I mean, don’t dump her on the sidewalk or anything, but don’t dump in her fat Ass either, OK babe?”

“And you’re gonna be right here when I return, Olivia?”

“Oh, I already said this is my place. Do you mind if I, ah, work with myself while you’re out? I mean, it’s my job now to change the sheets and all, so I can a little side work too, right baby?”

“Do as you will, do as you must, Olivia.”

“And Joel, please don’t go gay on me baby, please don’t ever let me catch you wearing a hollowed Pumpkin on your head with that twinkle toe faggot Butch J. carving the jack-o-lantern face out the hard way like I caught my no-good faggot cheating ex-husband doing, baby. They were playing Halloween glory hole Joel, faggot Halloween glory hole, I say!”

“Got it Love, no Pumpkins for Halloween on the front porch this year.

Well, ah, whatever. Anyways, I drove the original Mrs. Olsen home and parked in her driveway.

“Come on, Joel. That’s the second time I sucked your cock dry on Asphalt! I deserve to be called Opal.”

“Mrs. Olsen, I’m trying to protect your pending divorce proceedings. I mean, what if they call me to witness stand and ask me about how many times your meaty Pussy has been filled with my burning Hot seed? I mean, nobody cares about blow jobs these days. Or butt Sex. There has to be a risky of pregnancy involved to be a valid court issue and I don’t want to lie on the witness stand.”

“Fine, you forced my hand. I hereby invoke the Joel vs Every Middleton MILF blog rule book card. My younger Sister does not qualify as a true MILF, so to keep your blog going in alphabetical order, you must crawl between my legs and get your dick wet from my Pussy and blow into me too! There, blog card played!”

Damn, the rule book came around to bite me the Ass, right? I mean, who wrote these stupid rules anyways?

End Joel & Mrs. Olsen 01