“Kneel down, collar goes on first”

The young man is my first client of the day. I did an induction before our session, and found out that today is the day after his 18th birthday. Now that he’s allowed to, he’s coming to see me to try out his internet-fuelled fantasies.

He’s finally become a man, and I sense that he knows who he is. He’s a sub, but would be embarrassed to admit that. By day there is the pressure to be tough, macho, alpha. But by night his true desire is free: to submit to a woman, to be owned by her, to be her slave and discover peace in worshipping her.

I collar him, and push his head down to my boots. He’s naked at the beginning of the session. I like his body. Some arm muscle, noticeable obliques, blonde. I all the time prefer dominating the men I fancy.

He kisses my boots, and I take my bull whip from the implements table. I usually begin with this, as the pain is intense and sets the mood. A first whip across as his ass and he cries out. I whip again. Then a third time.

“Keep kissing”

As I continue to whip, he must stay there, kissing my boots. I focus the whip on his ass and sides. After maybe fifteen strokes, a reliable trickle of blood comes from his right cheek. His back is all red, and I pull his hair up, bend down, and spit in his face.

“Round two”

I push him back down to my boots, and take from the table a paddle with small silver spikes. I strike his ass, and the gashes grow until the blood is reliably flowing. He is weeping now, and my heart flutters slightly. A man in tears at the pain you’ve caused is a man surrendered.

I’m wearing my black latex dress, which has a zip at the bottom. I don’t have underwear on, so that I can use my whole body to dominate.

“Face on the floor”

I put my right heel below his left shoulder, and press my leg down. Then I straddle him. Unzipping the bottom of the latex, I then piss all over this young man’s body. My piss touches his ass, stinging him as it mixes with his blood. I like to drink a lot before each session, so that I can get a lot out. A sub needs piss. There’s no better reminder of where he belongs – at my feet, thinking only of pleasing and honoring me.

“Lick it all up”

My piss has spilled onto the floor, and I watch as he, despite the searing pain of his whipping, licks and swallows it up.

“Well done. You’re a good boy”

I like this one. Cute-looking, obedient, can take the pain. I attach a lead to his collar and pull him up, then walk him to the restraints. I attach the lead to the ring.

Usually at this point I leave my sub there for a while to recover, maybe spit on his face a couple of times, slap him. Usually this prepares for the final whipping before the session is over.

But I don’t want to. I like this one. I don’t know quite why, but it feels different this time. I’ve caused him pain, I’ve caused him humiliation. Now I want him to give me pleasure.

I uncollar him, and I only have to look to the floor for him to kneel. So obedient, he’s perfect! I put my latex next to face, and again with no words he starts to lick me.

I feel my body vibrate. He’s reached the clit, his tongue strokes me with a rhythm I’ve wanted to feel for the longest time. This one is special. He seems to know me. He’s not just a sub to hurt and forget. There’s a bond to form with him.

I pull his hair, and although I can smell my piss through it I turn him around and push him onto his back. This young man, at 18 years and one day, gets me, at 38 years. I’ve not been lucky with men. Never found one I loved or wanted marriage with. Dominating men, hurting men – it’s so enjoyable but I also need to connect deeply.

I quickly walk to the implements table and take two pairs of cuffs. One for the hands, one for the feet. I bind him. I know this is outside the scope of the session, I know this is not professional, I know this will be called abuse. But I’m 38 – if not now when?

I squat by his legs and lift up his cock. I squeeze it, and he hardens immediately. No more commands, he wants me and needs me. I take him inside and begin to ride. He gets ever harder, and I notice his face clench. My squat position starts to hurt my legs, but I keep going. I want this young man to release. I want his sperm to take. I want to have owned him, and forced him to breed me.

I feel him release as he lets out a cry of joy. Of all the men I’ve dominated, it’s never been as good as this. His seed rushes in, and I’m biting my lip hard as I feel it. It’s been too long since I’ve truly wanted a man like this. Men for me have just been subs to happily humiliate. But this young thing, what made him so different that I dream of him being the first to finally enter my womb?

As we finish, I go to untie his feet and hands. I zip up my latex. His seed needs to be kept inside me. I help him up, and hug him. He’s naked, still a little bloody, and recently covered in piss. This is, I assume, his first time. I should look after him. Perhaps he will belong to me forever. My servant, my slave, a man who exists for my pleasure. And a man I desired and wanted to take as my own.