Two weeks later, Ross, Rachel, Chandler and Monica sat together, solemnly watching another porno starring Phoebe and Ursula. As the opening sequence began, Rachel asked bitterly, “You guys were supposed to chaperone her! How the hell could this happen?”

Ross, said, “Just watch.” The movie featured an exciting newcomer named Rexx, who bore a strong resemblance to Joey Tribbiani. Monica stood, and screamed, “Damn him! Damn him to hell!” Rexx was on-screen, getting a blowjob from one of the sisters.

Rachel said, hopefully, “Maybe Joey’s only getting with Ursula…. Oh, never mind.” Rexx now had one sister sucking his balls and the other sucking his dick.

Chandler shook his head, without taking his eyes off the on-screen action, and said, “What now? We do two interventions?”

Monica pointed at the screen, “Look, Chandler, it’s number 70, the Suspended Scissors! If he can do it, you can!”

Ross, as the most mature friend, was elected to approach Phoebe and Joey. He called Phoebe first, saying, “Phoebe, we all love you, but we are worried that you are going down a path that is destructive.”

Phoebe was exasperated, “And I suppose you want to give me a good talking to—again.”

Ross was calm, “No lectures, Phoebe, just talking with friends who love you.”

“I suppose Monica and Rachel are furious?”

Ross said, “Well, yes, they are, more than Chandler and me.”

“I’m willing to listen to you and Chandler, at my apartment.”

Ross consulted with Chandler, Monica and Rachel, who all agreed that a meeting between Phoebe and the guys could only be a step in the right direction. Ross and Chandler went to Phoebe’s apartment. It had all the time been a source of wonder that Phoebe lived in a superb apartment. It was spacious, with a nice view, and in a building with a round-the-clock doorman. The mystery of how the flaky Phoebe could afford such a place had now been solved.

Phoebe invited Ross and Chandler to sit on the couch. She brought them cold beers. She drank water. The next thing Ross and Chandler could remember was waking up chained, spread-eagled, to Phoebe’s king-size bed. Phoebe and Ursula hovered over them, filming and taking still photos. The guys were nude.

As Ross and Chandler struggled to regain their senses, Phoebe explained, “Our friend, Jeff, suggested this solution to our little disagreement. You two will have a lot of explaining to do if you tell anyone, including your girlfriends, about this. We already have enough video and photos of you two to incriminate you to the whole world. Now, all you have to do is lay back, and enjoy yourselves.”

The girls set the cameras onto tripods. The guys noted that there were several cameras pointed at the bed. Phoebe and Ursula stripped. Over the years, Ross, Chandler and Joey had spent hours speculating on what Phoebe looked like nude, and what she was like in bed. They now knew that she looked bombshell gorgeous nude, and they would soon know how she was in bed. Her sister, too. The ladies crawled up to the men’s crotches and began blowing them both. Chandler said, with difficulty, “I think mine is Ursula, Ross. Look at the tattoo on her ankle. I guess you have the pleasure of realizing one of our favorite fantasies; having Phoebe.”

Phoebe lifted her head up, out of Ross’s crotch, long enough to say, “Don’t worry, guys, you’re both going to get the full treatment from each of us!” The head they were getting was so good that Chandler and Ross took Phoebe’s promise as good news.

Ross struggled to speak while he was in ecstasy, “Dude, hey! I realized something, buddy. We can’t speak anyone’s names while the cameras are on, okay? If we use each other’s names, or any names of people we know, we can be tracked. Understand?”

Chandler said, “Oh, my God, I feel like I’m being turned inside out! I understand, dude!”

Ross said, “I’m going to come! I’m gonna come!”

Phoebe pulled her head off of Ross’s dick, and jacked him off vigorously. He sprayed cum all over himself. Phobe congratulated him, “Way to go, Ross!”

Ross was satisfied and indignant, simultaneously, “Hey, we said, no names!”

Phoebe was apologetic, “Oops! Sorry! Ursula, don’t say Chandler’s name!”

“Hey, what the fuck!?”

Ursula complained, “I had this one almost ready to spew, but now he’s distracted!” Ursula renewed her oral assault on Chandler’s rod.

Phoebe climbed aboard Ross, and impaled herself on his cock, “Ooh, that’s a big one, big boy!” She rode him cowgirl style, waving her arm above her head and giving the cowboy call, “Yeee-Haw!”

Right next door, Chandler’s eyes crossed when Ursula deepthroated him. His hips began to vibrate, signaling his imminent climax. Like Phoebe, Ursula harvested his load by hand, so the camera could capture every detail. Chandler squealed like a pig as he came. Ursula squeezed his dick tightly, trying to get maximum height on Chandler ejaculations. Ursula shouted, “Thar she blows!” She estimated, “Three feet, I’d say.”

Ursula clambered up to Chandler’s hips, and she was soon riding alongside her sister. The girls playfully rode in rhythm, linking arms and goofing around. The pair of identical twins abruptly stopped riding, climbed off their respective steeds, and switched partners. Chander was now having sex with Phoebe Buffay. He had imagined this moment many times while masturbating.

At some unseen signal, Phoebe and Ursula dismounted and dropped down to blow and jack off their captives. Their goal, once again, was an ejaculation that would look good on film. First Ross, and then Chandler, spouted sperm in eruptions that were mild compared with their first.

Ursula gathered all the memory chips from the numerous cameras, and said, as she left, “Boys, these are going to a safe place. If you cross us, the whole world will see them on the internet, along with your names, addresses, places of work, and phone numbers.”

Phoebe released the guys, and offered them the use of her shower, which they both availed themselves of. On the way out of the building, Ross said, “How about we tell everyone that we convinced Phoebe to go straight?”

Chandler said, “Yeah, and if we see her again on the ‘net, we don’t tell anyone—except each other.”

“Agreed.”

“Same goes for Joey?”

“Agreed.”

“Oh my God, Ross, what about STDs? We could be giving God-knows-what to Monica and Rachel!”

Ross picked up his phone and dialed Phoebe, “Phoebe, it’s Ross.” “We’re worried we could transmit a disease to Rachel or Monica. You and Ursula both need to get tested, for their sake, if nothing else.”

Phoebe agreed to get tested immediately, “Ursula and I need to get regular tests anyway, for the movies.”

Ross said, “Call us the moment you get the results.”

Ross and Chandler had to skip intercourse for two nights, until Phoebe and Ursula both tested negative. The two men checked the internet porn sites every day for weeks after the incident. After that, they searched less often, never finding themselves on tape.