I.

The happiest and weirdest episode in Rory Gilmore’s life started when she discovered a secret access to the Forbidden Section in Yale’s Library. She found it by chance, hidden behind the fascinating “History of Theory of Literature in the Pitcairn Islands” shelf, which for some reason no one other than her seemed to ever consult. Rumored to be older than the University itself, the Forbidden Section was an underground hexagonal room which contained thousands of leather bound volumes with weird titles such as “The Mongol discovery of the Americas” or “The cheek that turned: the Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth”.

Rory didn’t know where to begin, overwhelmed as she was, so she decided to make a pro-con list to decide between spending hours reading every title and making subsequent pro-con lists to decide between each one until she arrived at a winner or just giving up and choosing a book at random. Choosing a book at random won 8 pros to 4 cons and she ended up with a enormous red book called “Why Communism Works, Actually”.

“No way” she said out loud, then remembered that even though she was alone at the Forbidden Section, this was still a library. So she shushed herself and repeated “No way” at a lower volume. She opened the book at the Index and decided to skip to the section on the role of women in international worker liberation.

“Women are by nature weaker and milder in disposition than men are. Women have endured such state of affairs for thousands of years, but since the advent of predatory capitalism it has become a historical necessity for Humanity to gather all its assets so that the working class can be victorious in its clash against tyranny. Therefore women must rise up to the call of history and leave behind their inherent delicacy, fragility and passivity and embrace a new, more forceful way of being. In order to gain the thirst and power of men and participate actively in the revolution to come, women everywhere must recite the following poem on a night of full moon…”

“What a Load of B.S.!” She let out, and shushed herself again, suppressing the impulse of apologizing to the venerable-looking books for her behavior. But she wondered the misogynistic content of the red book justified the outrage. There was no way that just by reading:

Rectus! terrae damnati!

Rectus! servi famem!

Ratio in cratere suo tonat;

Haec eruptio finis.

Ex praeteritis mundis lapsus faciamus;

Turba ancillae, surgite! rectus!

Mundus turpia mutabit;

Nos nihil sumus, omnia pereamus!

She would gain “the thirst and power of men”, whatever nonsense that was. Rory was about to check out the chapters on economics in case they were more reasonable and frankly less stupid than the section on women but suddenly felt very weary and tired, as in the morning before she had had her coffee. She closed the book in a daze and put it back on its shelf. Then she blinked and found herself in her dorm room, not really remembering how she had gotten there. The communist words in Latin bounced around inside her head. She was in her underwear and a loose tank-top, it was dark and she climbed onto bed and tucked herself beneath the covers. Rory was so tired she fell asleep almost immediately. Outside her dorm room, the full moon shone over campus.

II.

All night, Rory was uncomfortable. She kept turning around, flipping her pillow, suddenly sweating and feeling very hot and taking off the covers, then shivering and seeking desperately for the covers again, dreaming all sorts of blurry nonsense: a chorus of bearded men and rough looking women chanting in a language she did not know and tanks rolling down snowy streets. When she woke up she was face up, looking at the ceiling, covered only by the sheets. She looked down and she noticed a prominent tent in her crotch area.

“What…?” she whispered, and removed the sheets. Her cotton panties were torn off, hanging like a flag on top of her new and completely erect mast of a penis. She quickly covered herself up with the sheet and sat on the bed. “…the Hell?”. She turned to her side and saw Paris sound asleep in her own single bed, with her long blond hair spread all over her pillow, babbling something about the Nicaragua crisis. Rory peeked under the sheets just in case it had been some sort of pervy illusion but it seemed to be real. She had a penis. Veiny and fleshy with a spongy, pulsing, circumcised head. A pair of hairless but heavy balls leaning out below. She lightly touched the head and it was warm like the belly of a small animal. Her heart raced as she placed her fingers around the shaft and closed her hand and felt the veins full against her palm. She slowly began to masturbate, up and down the whole length of her new toy. Her roommate could wake up at any moment and how would she then hide…it? Maybe Paris wouldn’t notice anything, self-involved as she was. She would jump out of bed like a hurricane and at the same time would wash her teeth, work out, eat a whole-grain toast, get dressed, have a shower and do a pile of homework that had magically appeared during the night like her dick had. Rory squeezed the head of her cock. It was so bloated it could barely fit in her tiny hands. She bit her lips so as not to moan as she jerked off, faster and faster, unable to contain herself. She felt her whole body warming up, from her cheeks to her curling toes.

“What the hell are you doing?” Paris yelled. Rory hurried to cover herself up just as she was about to shoot her load. Her hands were sticky with pre-cum and she tried to discreetly wipe them off on the sheets, but she knew she wasn’t fooling Paris, who was watching her like a hawk.

“What was that?” Paris said, rising from her bed “What did you just hide?”

“Nothing”

Paris was up, opening the windows to get more light. She was in her pajamas, white with red and yellow figures like a Miró painting. She pounced towards Rory’s bed and ripped off the sheets in one fell swoop. Rory’s huge, hard cock just could not be hidden by her hands.

“Oh my God, you have a penis.”

“Paris, I can explain. I was in the library. In the Forbidden Section–“

“I can not believe you have a dick” interrupted Paris “I should have a dick.”

“What?”

“Oh, come on. You know a pussy can not get you anywhere in life.”

“That’s not true! In more methods than one.”

Paris looked away. She seemed genuinely upset. Rory got up from the bed and her dick swinged loosely from side to side. Rory looked for pants or something to put on, but found nothing at reach.

“Paris, this whole situation is crazy. I was in the Forbidden Section of the library…did you know there was a Forbidden Section? Well there is, and it’s forbidden for a reason. I read this book that said that in order for the workers of the world to rise up against capitalism women had to grow penises. Isn’t that crazy?”

Paris didn’t answer. She had her arms crossed and was looking through the window, unmoving as a statue. Rory felt a draft of cold air which gave her goosebumps and shriveled her testicles, and then sensed that her friend was about to burst in a fit of rage.

“Why are you so angry at me just because I have a penis?”

“You know what, I don’t even care that you’re a communist.”

“Paris, I’m not a communist!”

“In fact, I expected this of you. But, God, how could I have been so blind! This explains everything! Your grades, why everyone at all times loves you the second they meet you and how you can eat so much and never gain an ounce of fat. It all goes to increase the size of that big fat cock! And I’m stuck with this stupid, hairy, stinking pussy.”

“I’m sure it smells very nice.”

“That’s not the point! You are getting hard just thinking about it.”

Paris was right, her dick was not limp anymore. It was rising, pointing directly at Paris.

“Come on Paris. This… thing is new, I swear. I had a…vagina all of my life until now. They’re wonderful most of the time, I swear.”

“Oh, yeah? Prove it.”

Before she was fully conscious of what she was doing, Rory was grabbing Paris by the crotch over her pajama bottoms.

“What are you doing?”

Rory loosened the grip but Paris didn’t move. Rory’s hand slid into her pants and began to circle around the front of her panties, pressing against the entrance of her pussy. Paris opened her mouth to gasp, but no sound came out. Rory raised her eyebrows and slightly tilted her head as she began to feel the fabric getting wet. She pulled down Paris’ pants and resumed touching her above the panties. Without stopping the motion, she gently pushed her towards her bed.

Paris took a few steps back and sat on the bed, still being touched by Rory. Then, she slid Paris panties aside and dug her face into her pussy, licking around like it was a melting ice cream she was trying to catch with her tongue. She began licking in big circles, slowly closing into the clitoris. She paused for a moment to swallow saliva and puckered her lips around the little bit of flesh. She began sucking and Paris grabbed her hair. Rory reached for her penis, already oozing, and began to masturbate as she was eating out Paris. Soon she got way too excited and gave her a small bite.

“Ow” said Paris

“Sorry. This is the first pussy I eat”

Rory thought her dick was so hard it could shatter the fetters of capitalism. She felt like she had to fuck something or she would literally die. She stood up and positioned herself over Paris’ pink, wet entrance. Grabbing the base of her dick, Rory didn’t need to push too hard until she was fully inside Paris, with her face an inch away from her lips. Paris looked her in the eyes with confusion and surprise, and then Rory began to move back and forth and Paris’ mouth freezed in a semi-open state.

“I’m going to fuck your pussy so hard you’ll granddaughters will be born sore.”

Paris couldn’t talk, only nod and gasp for air as Rory fucked her. With a strength she didn’t knew she had, Rory grabbed Paris by the waist and spun her body until it was Rory who was lying in the bed and Paris was on top.

“Oh god, it’s so deep” cried Paris.

“You like your pussy now, don’t you?”

“I like your dick even more. I can not believe you never told me about it.”

“I just told you I just got it.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot. I feel like I’m forgetting everything.”

“You’ll never forget about this.”

Paris was now moving on her own, wildly riding her cock. Rory reached with her hands under Paris’ pajamas and grabbed her small tits, one in each hand and Paris in turn held the back of her own head and raised her face towards the ceiling in extasis. Rory managed to sync her thrusting with Paris’s motions and a few moments later she leaned over her, her eyes closed, her voice a continuous moan and her whole body trembling like jelly. Rory sensed she was about to cum and grabbed Paris’ ass as she orgasmed with a scream. Then she collapsed completely and fell on the bed beside Rory. She was all sweaty, and breathing heavily.

“Paris, are you ok?”

“I can not believe I came first.” gasped Paris “I never cum first.”

“Well now you have.”

“I can fuck a vibrator and not cum first.”

“That’s sort of sad, actually”

Paris jumped out of the bed and began nervously pacing around the bedroom, pantless.

“What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Paris.”

Paris got to her desk and her knees trembled so much she had to hold to the desk so as not to fall prone to the floor. Rory took a full look at her firm ass and again felt the pangs of desire.

“Shit, my legs are shaking. I can barely keep myself standing up.”

Rory got up stroking her rock hard dick and walked towards Paris, who was still holding on to her desk.

“Then get on your knees.”

“But–“

“Paris. Get on your knees.”

Paris obeyed and Rory stuffed her cock into her mouth. Paris began sucking eagerly, closing her eyes as she did. Rory grabbed Paris’ head with one hand and squeezed her left breast with the other.

“Oh, God, I’m going to cum.”

“Yes!” said Paris, drool spilling out of her mouth.

“Get that dick back into your mouth, Paris. You’re going to swallow to the last drop.”

Paris sucked obediently, grabbing Rory’s pole with both hands and lovingly kissing its spongy head. Rory closed her eyes in delight as she felt her balls contracting, shooting her load inside Paris’ mouth, jet after jet of sperm. After the last spurt, Rory gently slided her dick out, feeling it finally beginning to go limp. Paris remained kneeling on the floor in front of her, her lips closed and her cheeks inflated. Rory caressed her chin and looked her in the eyes.

“Open up” Rory said “Show me”

Paris opened her mouth and Rory saw her creamy, white cum pooling over her throat, making little bubbles as Paris breathed. Then commanded Paris to swallow and, after checking thoroughly that not a drop of cum had been lost, gave her a little peck on the lips and left her in the dorm room to recover.

It was Saturday, and she had promised her mother she would go back to visit her at Stars Hollow.

III.

It was a beautiful morning to drive through a Connecticut road. The sky was clear, there was no traffic and the autumn trees were yellow and red with only a few remaining green patches. The only problem was Rory’s car, which liked the landscape so much it decided to suddenly stop in the middle of nowhere and live there forever.

“I can not believe this!” Rory said. She tried to turn the keys a few times, but the car seemed to be completely dead. She gave up and opened the door so hard she almost ripped it out. “Oops”. Then stepped out and opened the hood to check the engine, but who was she kidding. She didn’t know the first thing about engines, only that they probably shouldn’t be smelling like burnt ash. She took out her cell phone and called triple AAA, but they said they wouldn’t be able to send anyone for hours.

“And what the hell am I supposed to do until then?”

“Try pushing the car” said the operator with a chuckle.

“Thanks a lot” said Rory, and ended the call so angrily her phone snapped in half like a cracker.

“Great”

Rory looked around and sighed. There was nothing there but beautiful, stupid nature. She decided to try pushing the car and, to her surprise, the car rolled down the road with incredible ease. It was as if it was made of styrofoam. She felt she could keep pushing it all day. She even began to jog. A couple of minutes later, as she got into Gypsy’s auto shop, she wasn’t even sweating. She was actually smiling. Everyone in Stars Hollow who saw her jogging behind the moving car like she was Jack LalLanne froze in place, staring her with their mouths open like idiots. And even unfazeable Gypsy herself seemed to be shocked.

“Oh my god, what the hell do they feed you at that school of yours?”

“I at all times eat all my spinach”

“It must be radioactive spinach. What are you, a military experiment or something?”

“Can you fix my car or what?”

“Yeah, I’ll take a look.”

Gypsy got to work while Rory waited, sitting in a corner. She realized she hadn’t had her coffee in the morning and with her last quarter she bought herself a cup from the machine. It tasted like kissing the Swamp Thing, but it had caffeine which was the important part. She got tired of waiting and approached Gypsy.

“Well?” she said.

“It’s the blubbergubber”

“The what?”

“The blubbergubber.”

“That’s not a real word, Gypsy.”

“Kid, do you know the difference between the distributor, the alternator and the radiator?”

“No”

“Then it’s the blubbergubber. Lucky for you, I happen to have a spare blubbergubber in the shop that will make your car run like a gazelle. And it’ll only cost you a hundred bucks.”

“A hundred bucks! I don’t have that sort of money!”

“Oh, don’t give me that poor student bullshit. I know your grandparents are loaded. Go ask them for the money.”

“I can not. They already gave me and my mom way too much to pay for my college. It’ll be too embarrassing! Besides, I can not call them. I broke my phone and I wasted my last quarter on that horrible coffee of your machine.”

“Poor rich girl, crying in your Ivy League oak dorm room, wiping your tears with Ivys, drinking fancy Ivy tea. Gimme a break.”

“Hey, I work hard at Yale. It’s not a vacation.”

“We all work hard, we just don’t all get rewarded as much.”

“Nobody pays me anything.”

“Then get an honest paying job like the rest of us and come back with a hundred dollars or use that freak strength of yours to get your junk out of my shop.”

“You know what Gypsy? You are right. I’ll go discover some paying job and come back with your money.”

“Yeah, right.”

Rory stormed out, almost crying, and made her way aimlessly through the streets of Stars Hollow. She caught in passing a glimpse of her doe-eyed reflection in the window of Andrew’s Bookshop, tearing up, and said to herself that she had to toughen up. If she cried over every stupid thing that happened to her, how would she fare when the revolution came and she had to fight for freedom in the trenches? She would get a job. Become a real worker. While daydreaming herself working at a Steel Mill, in cute but flame-resistant jeans and shirts along with a proper welding jacket and yellow helmet she was so distracted she didn’t notice weird, lanky Kirk posting thousands of printed flyers in every possible surface, and almost crashed into him.

“Oh, sorry Kirk. Hi.”

“Hi Rory, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. What are those flyers for?”

“I’m trying to discover my little pussy. Have you seen it?”

“Your what?”

Kirk handed her a flier. It had the picture of him being mauled by a cat and the contact information of his mother.

“My cat. It’s name is also Kirk.”

“I know his name is Kirk, Kirk, you’ve had it for over a year.”

“So you have seen it. Did you see where it went?”

Rory got a naughty thought. Kirk had a lot of money from the insane amount of jobs he always did all over town and not much luck with girls. She put two and two together and came up with a plan to pay for her car repairs, and help a fellow worker at the same time.

“Uhm…” Rory pretended to think “I think I saw it in the alley”

“I’ve never seen an alley in Stars Hollow”

“Sure you have. It’s behind Al’s Pancake World. He hosted a salute to Norway this week, and your cat must have been attracted to the smell of cod. Come, I’ll show you”

Rory guided him into the alley. It had piles and piles of trash, brick walls and cobbled floor. Kirk stepped in confidently.

“Be careful Rory, this may be dangerous. Kirk doesn’t like being followed. Kitty, kitty, are you here?”

“Kirk, tell me, are you a virgin?”

“I’m… oh. What? Are you old enough to ask that kind of questions?”

“Of course I am. I go to Yale. Students at Yale learn all sorts of adult things. If you

have a hundred dollars I’ll teach you some.”

Kirk instantly produced the money from his pocket.

“I have a hundred dollars.”

Rory took the money, put it in her bra and smiled at Kirk.

“So what happens now?” he asked.

Rory took a step towards Kirk and he reeled back, stumbling upon a trash bag and some containers. Rory catched him by the lapel before he fell to the floor and got him back on his feet.

“Wow you’re strong.”

Rory shut him up with a kiss. She forced her tongue into his mouth and poked around with lust. Then she pinned him against the brick wall and undid his belt and the zip of his pants. Then she slid her hand right into his crotch to get to his cock. Rory grabbed the hard little shaft and jerked him off while beginning to kiss his neck. Not two shakes she gave him that with a whimper he started squirting jizz into his cotton underwear her mother had ironed for him.

“I’m sorry.”

Rory was hoping for a little bit more, but there was still fun to be had. She had to earn her money fairly after all.