Paying for car repairs

Car Trouble — 2

Louise’s secret journal from previous instalment.

John asked me to write about my feelings about our new relationship. That made me horny, and it was fun to write. I read some of it to him but there are things I cannot admit to him. Writing seemed to help organise my thoughts about new, kinky, sex with him. This is to try and organise my secret thoughts that he will never read. I don’t expect it to make much sense, more a ‘stream of consciousness’ that I will add to and maybe edit.

I have started writing this while kneeling naked on the table, facing him, with my legs aside, while he makes dinner. He thinks I am writing my other journal.

The strength of my feelings terrifies me. He mentioned piercing my nipples and clit. Is that all? Does he realise that I would cut off my arm if he wanted it.

He tells me I am strong. I love to hear it, but it isn’t true. He taunts me with something I can work on to be strong. I try to control my orgasms because he wants that. I at all times enjoyed making love with him, but I didn’t at all times cum. Now he controls me cumming, and I am on a hair-trigger at all times. He stops me cumming and all I want to do is let go; but I don’t because he likes to make me desperate.

Strong, what a joke.

When he spanks me, I get crazy. I didn’t think I was a masochist -if I stub my toe, I shout and swear. Why does it make me so hot when he slaps my breasts or my clit? It hurts! I even encourage him. Am I sick?

When he makes me cum (or lets me cum) I feel so close to him, spiritual almost. When he pampers me, I feel his love. I love making him ‘lose it’. Is he just ‘in lust’ with my body or does he love ME?

I have tried to be independent and not rely too much on him. I have my job and my friends, but they are such an insignificant part of my life. Does he know how much I need him? I don’t want to be a mere accessory to his life. I used to pity the whores who allowed their men to sell them to others for sex. I didn’t find out how they would give up so much to somebody else. I find out better now. I am so glad that John is honourable, if he wanted to pimp me out, I don’t think I would be able to refuse him. How fucking pathetic.

I do feel pathetic and weak. I try to stand up for myself, but it can make me seem bitchy. I know that he doesn’t want a brainless bimbo. I push back sometimes, trying not to lose myself completely in him. Perhaps that is why I pushed the boundaries by taking his damn car. I am secretly glad that I bent it. I love how he is treating me now. It is so exciting, but I am terrified that he will tire of me.

The more of myself that I give, the better I feel, but it makes me so vulnerable. Even thinking about serving him makes me wet. ‘Serving him’? Am I that submissive? I can be a ‘hard arse bitch’ with other people who upset me.

I know he loves my body and I try to keep it nice for him. What will he think when I get older? I once asked him if he ever wanted to be with other women. He said he ‘didn’t need anyone else if he had me’. Will that at all times be true?

He married me even though he knew I couldn’t give him children. I would sign a pact with the devil if I could give him kids, although he never mentions it. The only up-side is that I never get a period or PMS so he can at all times have me.

I have just had an idea too frightening to even write down. I don’t want to even think about it. I know the idea won’t leave me alone now. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! This idea is gonna drive me crazy.

Monday morning.

I fell asleep quickly although Louise seemed restless. I was woken in the early hours with a languorous and slightly tearful blowjob. I was too tired to enquire deeply into her reasons, she merely said how much she loved me. I slept deeply until the smell of coffee and bacon woke me.

After a visit to the bathroom, I was please to see my gorgeous wife setting the table, completely naked. I sat down and patted my lap to invite her to sit there. She sat down carefully, and I realised that she was still wearing a butt plug. I reached around her and cut up my meal. I fed and fondled her, and she kissed me deeply.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, you were restless last night, and you are quiet this morning.”

“I am a bit overwhelmed by what is happening to me, to us. I feel very vulnerable. My body loves what you are doing but my mind is in pieces. I feel helpless.”

“Does feeling helpless make you worried or excited?”

“A bit of both. Very excited, but the worry is mostly about how you feel about the ‘new me’.”

My ‘phone announced an incoming message. I was ignoring most work-related calls, but this was from the garage. I saw the estimate and turned the screen towards her.

“Oh John, I didn’t think it would cost that much. I am so sorry. No wonder you wanted to make me pay somehow. I will try to be very good for you… or very bad.”

“It is only money, and we are not short of money. If we needed more, I could easily take on more contracts, take on a manager, or employ a specialist to chase up my patents more thoroughly. If we wanted to convert more outbuildings or add more bedrooms, we might need extra income but there seems little reason to. We have enough for us two to live well without stress.”

“I am enjoying ‘making you pay’ much more than the repair to a damn car is worth. Don’t be concerned about the car. After we drop off the car in the garage, I have a plan for you I think you will like.”

I told Louise that, unfortunately, she would have to put on clothes and follow me in her car after I dropped off mine at the garage.

“Only a summer frock, no underwear and give me a 45-minute begin to talk to the garage. You could update your journal while you wait to collect me.”

Secret Journal update.

Quick update before I carry on with my ‘proper journal’. John is so good to me. When he mentioned not needing to have more bedrooms, I felt inadequate again. Why can’t I give him kids?

My worrying idea kept me awake last night

What does he have planned for me today?

Monday late morning, lunch and after.

When we arrived home in Louis’ car, she was on tenterhooks. She took off her clothes immediately and it was obvious that she was aroused. I explained that I had a little work to do in the spare room and, her ‘surprise’ would be after lunch. I told her to take care of shaving and internal cleaning which made her jumpier.

After my work in the spare room, I showered and sat down to lunch. I told her to get the nipple clamps and chains. I put on recently purchased wrist cuffs and attached a ten-inch chain to each. After she clamped her nipples, I told her to attach one nipple to each of the wrist chains. She stood at the table and had to lean over to reach her food. Each movement of her hands to take, or cut food, made her perky tits wobble and sway. Not painful for her but undoubtedly arousing.

She rinsed the dishes and needed to bend carefully to load the dishwasher. At first, she squatted to make the loading easier on her nipples, but I insisted that she stand and bend. After each trip between the sink and the washer, she stood with her feet a little further apart as she bent over. The chains between nipples and wrists ensured that she required all her gym fit flexibility to bend so far. Her freshly shaved folds were slightly swollen and were glistening with moisture. She was very conscious of my gaze and shuffled her feet apart further and wriggled her bottom a little. No hiding that but plug!

When she finished, I held and kissed her. I told her to remove her plug, wash it, remove the clamps, and use the toilet but leave on the wrist cuffs. She returned a little flushed and seemed apprehensive.

“You said feeling helpless excited you, but you worried about how I perceived the ‘new you’. I am gonna show you. I want you to at all times remember these two things when we play. First, I love you; second, I will at all times keep you safe. If you get too frightened in a fantasy play, I will say something with the word ‘two’ in it to remind you not to worry. I might say I am gonna lock you up for two days — I won’t really. Tell me what I have explained.” She repeated it nearly word-for-word.

I collected the supplies that I had collected earlier. Took two of her cotton wool wipes and, after she closed her eyes, placed one on each eyelid and covered them with an airline sleep mask. She was unable to open her eyes.

I took her hand and gently led her to the spare room. I fitted ankle cuffs and thigh cuffs. Further supplies from my shopping trip on my way to the garage. Louise was nervous, disorientated and shaking slightly. I held her close and reassured her that this would not hurt but was a demonstration of how I loved her and would help assuage her fear of being helpless.

I helped her to sit on the end of a padded bench that I had placed under one of the exposed ceiling beams. I laid her back and clipped her wrists to eye bolts that I had just fitted to the bench. She was panting softly. I used kitchen wrap under the bench and around her ribcage, below her breasts. A second wrap under her arms, around the bench and above her breasts. A final wrap secured her hips to the bench. She could move her pelvis and shoulders and her feet were resting on the floor with her legs free to move.

“Are you okay?”

“A little concerned but okay.”

“Remember the two things that you repeated to me. If any part of you starts to feel numb due to constricted circulation, you MUST tell me. I will be disappointed if you ignore it and don’t tell me.”

I placed noise cancelling headphones over her ears, playing quiet music. I gently lifted one leg and clipped a thigh cuff to a rope I had fixed to the beam earlier. Then the second leg. Then each ankle to a slightly shorter rope, further away from the bench. I took a soft feather and slowly ran it along her leg from ankle to thigh. Then the second leg. Goose bumps followed the path of the feather. Over her hips, skipped the kitchen wrap but stroked over her exposed breasts and nipples. She had started to moan quite loudly. She couldn’t hear herself through the earphones. I had a feather tied to a thread which I pinned to the ceiling above her so that it just brushed a nipple. Then a second feather for the other nipple and one above her freshly shaved pudenda. In addition to her moans, she ‘ohed’ as the feather brushed her sensitised skin.

I used a wooden bar to slowly spread the ropes supporting her thighs. She gasped. I stopped and moved away, just watching her as she trembled slowly. I opened a window and the slight breeze moved and swayed the suspended feathers.

Her trembling increased. “John, John, what are you doing to me? My skin is too sensitive, it’s too gentle. I am so horny. You know I won’t be able to cum like this. If I could cum, I won’t know if you let me. I cannot hear. Are you still there?”

A spent a few minutes watching her try to writhe but unable to move her torso. She was only able to rock her pelvis and sway her suspended legs side-to-side, unable to close her knees together.

I hooked the Hitachi vibrator cable to the beam above her and positioned it to lightly touch her pussy. She jumped as she felt the new sensation, then I turned it on low. She jumped again and moaned. I watched her for a few more minutes as she tried to push against it, only to find that it swung away from her. She tried get more sensation by rocking her hips so that it swung away and gently banged into her.

I walked to her head and laid my erection on her lips. She jumped and then, realising what it was, slid her tongue out and moaned as she licked it.

“I feel so helpless here,” she moaned, “You could do anything to me. I cannot hear or see anything. My skin is so sensitive. Will you let me take more of you in my mouth please?”

I just slid my erection along her lips, outside her mouth. She opened her mouth more so that her lips were each side, her tongue lapping against the underside. She craned her head off the bench to try and catch more of my prick. I reached over and swung the cord of the Hitachi away and it swung back onto her naked cunt. She gasped and I moved behind her head and slowly pushed into her mouth along her tongue. She closed he lips and sucked hard. I slid back and she begged for more. I walked away and left her in her blind deaf space.

“Please let me please you…

“My body is on fire, but I want to make you feel good…

“I love you. I want to serve you. You do so much for me. You make me feel so alive…

“I am suffering for you. I love it.”

I held a nipple between my thumb and finger and started to squeeze. She exhaled, “Yes.” I increase the pressure. “Yes, more.” I was squeezing very hard now, then let go and suckled the abused nub. “Again please.” She purred. I repeated on her other nipple, slightly harder and suckled slightly longer. Then I stepped back and watched her slowly writhe. “Don’t go, don’t go,” she wailed.

I pulled the Hitachi away on its cable, switched the speed higher and let it swing into her hard. She twitched and held still. I pulled it away again and waited several seconds. She held her breath and I released it. She let out an explosive breath, but I let the vibrator sit there above her liquid core for a few minutes.

I then removed the device and sat down to watch her. After a short while she asked if I was still there. She asked again, sounding a little panicky. I stood between her legs and slowly slid the head of my prick into her. She gasped and tried to wriggle toward me. I could feel her cunt pulse.

“I’m helpless, I’m yours.” She wailed. “Please take me. Use me. Spank me. Fuck me. Yours, yours.”

I slowly slid more of my length into her. Her cunt quivered and trembled around me, and she struggled to writhe towards me. I slid all the way in, and then out completely. Her breath was rasping so I took a water bottle with a plastic tube and held it to her lips. She tentatively sucked and spluttered as the water hit her throat, then sucked strongly and swallowed.

“So kind to me, so cruel,” she murmured.

I suckled her nipples and gently gripped with my teeth. She seemed resigned to just lying there and receiving sensations. I flicked both nipples and she tried to arch her back against the wrappings. I traced letters slowly on her exposed belly. After a few repeats, she realised the game and started to articulate them.

“U.C.T.O.V.F.U.C. Fuck Toy! Yes, your fuck toy, play with me, play with me.”

I slid a finger into her wet cunt and spread the moisture around her anus, then, so slowly pushed it into her bum. She had very little movement available but steadily gripped and released. I removed my finger, lubricated my prick, and very slowly entered her pulsing bum. Her bum pushed out to allow me easy access and then spasmed. I stopped moving and, with control that astonished me, I held motionless. Her bum relaxed and I slowly slid a little deeper. She gripped and I stopped, this time for longer.

She pulsed, as if ensuring that I was still there. She was almost silent, she could not hear herself and, I suspect, she ‘forgot’ I could hear her. I slid back, completely out. She groaned. Many heartbeats later, I slid back in.

She remembered I could hear her. “Play with me, I am a bad girl, use me, spank me. Please.” I slowly slid in and out. “I’m a toy, use me. I won’t break, harder.” I slowed down more, hardly moving. “Please, please. I need to feel you harder, deeper.” I slid in until my balls rested against her butt and stayed there; reached across her and slapped her breast. She took a deep breath but said nothing. I slapped the other breast, harder. Another deep breath and a slow whistling release as she breathed out. She seemed resigned to accept whatever I decided to do to her.

I slid out and picked up a soft flogger. Slid back in and trailed the strands across her tits. A lazy flick of my wrist the tendrils swept across her nipples. Another deep breath and a soft whisper from her. “Yes, my love.” I flicked the flogger again and I realised that she was clenching around me in a quiet orgasm. As I slowly whipped her tits, her orgasm continued to softly pulse, on and on.

I held her clit between finger and thumb and gradually increased the pressure. As the pressure and pain increased, she became more vocal and tried to trash in her restraints. After a violent spasm she went completely limp.

I looked at my watch and realised that we had been playing for a couple of hours.

I slit the kitchen wrap, unclipped her arms, removed the headphones and gently lowed her legs and removed her cuffs. She still could not see but I held her and whispered reassurance in her ears as she slowly recovered.

“Can you stand if I help you?” She nodded and I led her stumbling into the lounge and sat her down. Leave the blindfold.” I said and walked to the bathroom and ran a hot bath.

I removed her cuffs, took her hand and led her to the bath and steadied her as she stepped in and sat down. I sponged her slowly. “Okay?” I asked.

“Intense. So slow and erotic, but frustrating. I felt as if I was floating in space with no point of reference, no sight, no sound; my legs felt weightless, floating in the air with no contact to the ground. I could feel the breeze on my skin. It felt as though the only thing stopping me float into the sky were the wraps holding me down. Very strange. You said I would feel helpless and vulnerable, and I did. I kept remembering your ‘two things’ if I felt panicky. That helped. I still feel slightly ‘spaced out’, not quite real.”

She paused for several minutes. I sensed that she was processing something, so I waited. She spoke slowly and steadily. “I feel as if I am your fuck toy. I want to be your fuck toy. Pierce my body, spank me, fuck me, bugger me. Nothing you do to me would hurt more than indifference. I realise that I love you and you show me in many methods how much you care for me.”

I helped her out of the bath and gently dried her and put on wrist cuffs and clipped then together in front of her. Walked her to the bed and lay down with her in a gently hug. She wept softly and slipped into a quiet sleep.

Monday evening.

I had taken a shower and put a meal in the oven. I heard a shuffling walk and saw Louise feeling her way towards the kitchen. Her bound hands trailing along the wall. I took her hands and carefully led to until she could place her hands on the kitchen table. I placed an opened bottle of water into her hands and told her to drink.

“You are such a good girl, leaving your blindfold on. Do you feel safe?”

“I feel like a soft play toy. I feel as though I am still in a dream. When you were playing with me, you didn’t cum.” Her breath hitched and she quietly continued, “Can I serve you?”

I took a cushion and knelt her in front of my chair. “This afternoon, everything has been slow, do this slowly.”

She used her hands to orientate herself and leaned forward to place a soft kiss on the tip my growing erection. I shuffled the chair closer and placed my hands on her naked shoulders. She swirled her tongue around my plum and wetly slid me into her mouth. While she made love to my prick, I slowly ran my hands over her shoulder, neck, and breasts. Her nipples were hard, and I saw a hint of moisture between her shaved folds.

“Do you feel aroused?” I asked.

She eased me out of her mouth. “I have felt horny since Friday night, and I seem to be wet and ready for you at all times. Not being allowed to see anything seems dreamlike.”

She continued to suckle, swirl, and lick me. Her bound hands cradled and fondled my scrotum, gently separating and moving my testes. I felt an orgasm slowly create and gently pulse. She unhurriedly swallowed and sucked. My erection softened in her mouth, and she swirled around to clean me.