Alan gets more than he bargained for. A Pam and Anne story.

Anne had been moved into Pam’s place for a month or so by this time. Pam, the lesbian naturist photographer and Anne the bisexual sometime Porn star now part time PA were living in separate bedrooms in Anne’s town house. Pam occupied the two lower floors and she let out the third floor, which was separate, to Alan and his Wife of five years Laura. Laura was often away staying with her parents because her father was ill – or that was the excuse/explanation.

On this day Anne was expecting Alan to come and look at the bathroom because Pam wanted to change the tiles for some reason – Anne thought that they looked fine but Pam was the arty one and there was something about the current tiles that offended her. Pam was out shopping and Anne was sat on the toilet doing what she loved to do – have a simultaneous wank and shit. Sometimes if her shit was firm enough she could hold a turd in her arsehole and then stimulate her clitoris and on reaching Orgasm she pushed the turd out – it was a bit like fucking herself in the arse, but not as good as the real thing of course. Just as she came and pushed the turd out the doorbell rang. She thought that it was probably Alan or an Amazon delivery. She shouted “coming!” which was a bit of a double entendre, and collected herself. Alan was going to come into the bathroom so she quickly flushed but didn’t bother to wipe her arse – she got up straight away and put on an apron so she was decent from the front at least – although she had a bare dirty arse from the rear view.

It was one of the teenagers from next door whose ball had landed in the back garden. This wasn’t in the plan – he wanted to come in and get his ball. Anne wasn’t quite sure what to do for a second. But she decided that the best thing was to tell him to go back home and she would chuck the ball over the fence. The boy looked slightly quizzical but left and she went into the back garden to chuck the ball over. But as she was walking towards the patio doors onto the back garden she saw that there was a mirror on the wall that would have given the lad a rear view of her. But it was about 15 feet away so it wouldn’t have shown him much detail. She wondered for a second if she should put some pants on but thought, what the hell, “it’s only a bare arse from the equivalent of about 30 feet”. So, she didn’t put any pants on. She wondered about going back to the toilet and finishing off, she still had some shit in her rectum she thought but then she heard Alan coming down the stairs.

“Hi!” she greeted him. He said “Hello!” “Have you come to look at the tiles?” she replied. He nodded.

She showed him in and led the way – obviously he had a great view of her bare back and arse, but he had seen her naked before. She placed a hand on each buttock and rubbed her hands upward as you might do to rub off some moisture on your trousers – this parted her buttocks briefly showing her bare and dirty arsehole for a second or so. As she did this she told Alan that she didn’t know why Pam wanted to replace the tiles, but it wasn’t her place so she wasn’t going to try to talk her out of it.

The went into the bathroom and Alan went over to look at the tiles.

“How’s Laura?” Anne asked.

“She’s OK, still away though, her Dad isn’t likely to get better,” Alan responded.

“So you haven’t had Sex in a while then Alan?”

“That’s a bit forward – are you offering?”

“I have fucked much less attractive guys than you Alan.”

“Maybe you have but I am a married man Anne.”

“That didn’t stop you the other day with Pam, Alan!”

“I didn’t fuck her – she just pee’d on me and then gave me a hand job.”

“So golden showers are OK, a hand job is OK but not fucking?”

“That’s about it.”

“What other things does your conscience let you do? What things would you like to do that Laura won’t do? Surely, it can’t be wrong to do something with someone else that you can’t get at home? Tell me what those things are Alan. Let’s start – does she do blow jobs and do you fantasise about them?”

“She has done a blow job once but really didn’t like it?”

“What else?”

“She won’t let me see her pee or shit – she won’t even let me in the bathroom when she is on the toilet.”

“Well, we know that you like being pee’d on. What about being shat on?”

“No – I don’t think so. Too messy but I would like to see a big fat turd emerging from a beautiful woman’s arse.”

“Like mine?”

“Yes, I suppose.”

“Suppose or would really like it?”

“Would really like it!”

“That could be arranged. I was having a shit just before you arrived and got interrupted by the kid next door. In fact I had no time to wipe my arse, Alan. Would you like to see my dirty arsehole?”

“I’ve already seen it,” Alan said with a chuckle.

“Well, Alan, what do you think about a naked pretty girl with a dirty arse? Disgusting or sexy?”

“Sexy! Very animal.”

“Well take your clothes off, Alan.” Alan disrobed. Anne took off the apron.

Anne went over to the toilet and sat down facing the cistern. Alan had a great view of her dirty arsehole.

“Reach round and touch my clitoris, Alan,” she commanded. Alan obliged with his right hand. “Now make me cum, does your conscience allow that?”

Alan started to stimulate Anne’s clitoris and pinching her left nipple with the other hand. He was very gentle with both.

Anne was very excited and very wet. She started to push down and pee’d on Alan’s hand. He didn’t stop. There was more shit in her arse as she thought there must be.

“Watch my arsehole, Alan!”

The rim of her arsehole became engorged at the opening started to enlarge. In the centre a brown turd started to emerge. Then Anne contracted the sphincter muscle and it disappeared but there was some brown mucus in the opening. She pushed down again and the turd reappeared. Contracted again, a bit more mucus. Alan was fascinated and stopped stimulating Anne’s clitoris. “Don’t stop, Alan – it was lovely!” Alan resumed his rhythmic rubbing of Anne’s clit.

The turd appeared and disappeared many times – Anne was an expert in controlling her anus. Then as she came she pushed down hard and another big turd shot out of her arse. It was a fantastic Orgasm. Alan’s dick was as hard as a rock. Anne stood up and turned round and embraced Alan. They kissed with open mouths searching each other’s mouths with their tongues. Anne ran her right hand up and down Alan’s back and Alan did the same to her. Eventually she reached down as far as his arsehole. Then she quickly brought her right hand to her mouth and licked the middle finger and then placed it back on Alan’s anus. “Push down gently Alan, to open the hole a bit.” Alan obliged and she very gently started to insert her finger. Alan did exactly the same but Anne’s arsehole had some shitty mucus on it so he didn’t need to lick his finger. He did anyway to see what Anne’s shit tasted like.

“What does it taste like Alan?”

“Bitter. But have you been eating curry Anne.”

“Well done Sherlock. I Love a Hot curry and I quite like the way it burns your arse on the way out.”

Anne now had her middle finger in Alan’s arse right up to the first joint. Alan’s finger slipped really easily into Anne’s arse. They kissed again passionately and then the both leaned back so that they could look into each other’s eyes. They smiled at each other. Anne wiggled her finger in Alan’s arse. Alan wiggled his finger in Anne’s arse. Then Anne replied and then Alan again. They started laughing hysterically.

“I just had a thought,” said Anne “if you knew Morse Code you could communicate secretly like this.”

“I do know Morse Code,” said Alan, “I was in the Scouts.”

“And I was in the Guides.”

Alan wiggled the message “This is very sexy fun!” in Morse in Anne’s arse.

Anne remembered enough Morse to understand the message and signalled back, “for me too! But I can feel a nice firm turd in your arse Alan. Push down a little” Alan obliged and Anne was able to reach beyond it and fish it out. Alan give a little grunt as it emerged.

“What a dirty girl you are Anne!”

“Yes I am aren’t I!” Anne held it in the palm of her hand and then she squatted down and, because it was so firm, she pushed it up inside her own arse. Alan was amazed. Anne winked and said, “do you want it back? You’ll have to get it.”

At this point Pam arrived back with the shopping, wearing her track suit which is about the only thing she ever wears. She shouted, “are you home Anne?”

“Just in the bathroom showing Alan where you want the tiles replacing.”

“If it’s OK with you, Alan, I’m just going to slip my kit off and come in and join you. I am dying for a piss and a shit, but I’m not proud and if you don’t mind the pong we can talk while I’m doing that. Give the air freshener a squirt before I come in if you like.”

The bathroom already smelt pretty shitty so with his clean hand Alan give it a long generous squirt. Pam rushed in and sat down on the toilet, not noticing Anne’s turd in the bowl already. But she did notice the smell and wrinkled her nose. Almost immediately there was the sound of her pissing and then a rapid fire ‘phut, phut,phut’ as her arse emptied. Almost immediately she stood up and flushed without wiping and walked over to where the tiling needed replacing. Ann and Alan were already over there and she put an arm around each of them.

“And what mucky games have you two been up to in here – it smelt like a barnyard when I walked in here. I needn’t have worried about having a shit in front of you?”

Anne and Alan looked a bit guilty.

“Anne is a dirty bugger, Alan,” said Pam.

“We are all dirty buggers now,” said Anne “bend over Pam and let’s see your arse!”

“I’ll get my camera and we can judge who has the dirtiest arse if you like,” said Pam.

“This is weird,” said Alan. “Anne stuck her finger up my arse and pulled out a plum, like Little Jack Horner. So I guess I have a dirty arse – it’s a bit embarrassing in front of you ladies.”

“And where is it now?” said Pam. “And by the way, if you know anything Alan, we certainly aren’t ladies!” They all laughed.

“Inside me,” said Anne.

“You like that don’t you, you dirty minx?” said Pam, “I remember when you first came here you went home with some of my shit in your arse. When did you poop it out?”

“Next morning – I went to work with it there and also out to dinner with my parents! It felt very sexy having something of yours inside me, even if it was just poo!”

“Is there anything more inside Alan’s arse do you think?” said Pam, “It would be nice to have some up inside me.” For the moment she seemed to have forgotten about getting her camera.

“Hang on, do I have a say in this?” said Alan. “Earlier, I was feeling very sexy and aroused and I was happy to let Anne do what she wanted. Now, I just feel embarrassed.”

“How about if I gave you a blow job, Alan, and got you feeling really sexy and then Pam could have a little search inside your arse to see if you had a present for her?”

“Oh, OK,” said Alan.

So that’s what happened. And when Alan was close to Cumming Pam inserted her finger in his arse. Initially there was nothing there but Alan orgasmed immediately. “Push down,” Pam said quietly and she was able to feel a turd. It was quite a small firm one and she soon was able to retrieve it.

“Well, well! You do have a little gift for me.” said Pam to Alan. “Would you be a gentleman and present your gift to a lady?”

“I thought you said that you weren’t ladies!” said Alan.

“I don’t think that you are really a gentleman,” said Pam. With this she gave Alan his small turd and bent over and pulled her buttocks apart. Her arse wasn’t that dirty. She still had the quite large skin tag. Alan pressed his turd against the hole in the centre of the ring. Pam strained down to relax and slightly open the ring and the turd popped in. She tightened the sphincter and it was gone, swallowed whole. There was a little brown mucus in the centre where the hole was. Pam stood up and turned round. “Thank you for your present, Alan.”

The attention now turned to taking the arsehole photos but everyone had dirty fingers and their hand’s needed washing. But first Pam put a little bit of Alan’s shit that was on her fingers on Anne’s nipples. Not much, just a little bit. Anne put some on Pam’s nipples.

“I think that we should do your nipples, Alan,” said Pam, “one with my shit and one with Anne’s. Anne, you start. Get some shit from my arse and put it on Alan’s right nipple!”

Pam bent over again and Anne rubbed one of her clean fingers around Pam’s arsehole. She commented that it would be a mixture of Pam’s shit and Alan’s own. She gently rubbed it around Alan’s right nipple.

Then Anne bent over and Pam rubbed one of her clean fingers around Anne’s arsehole and then rubbed it around Alan’s left nipple.

“Let’s wash our hands now and we can get the camera,” said Pam. They took it in turns to wash their hands at the bathroom sink. They used a brush to scrub under their nails. They had really clean hands but dirty arses and nipples. The three of them came together and put their arms around each other and hugged.

Pam went to get the camera. First Anne bent over and parted her buttocks. The inside of her buttocks was really quite mucky. Pam took a close up. Then she asked Alan to bend over. He was quite bashful and embarrassed at first and wanted assurance that any photos would not end up on the internet. Pam said that even if they did, although the wouldn’t, who would connect any photos with him? So he bent over. Unlike the two women he was not shaved and so there was quite a lot of hair around his arsehole that was quite dirty. “I think we might need to shave you there, Alan, after this, if that’s OK with you,” said Pam.

Next Anne took the camera and took a picture of Pam’s arsehole.

“So now let’s go into my studio and do some ‘glamour’ photos,” said Pam.

They went into the studio and Pam arranged some ‘glamour’ type poses. Singly in twos and threes. When she was in the shot she used a remote trigger. She did some facial close ups as well.

When she had enough photos she said, “let’s have some tea and I have some little cakes.”

They went into the kitchen and Pam made tea and got some cupcakes out of the fridge.

“Sit down by the breakfast bar,” said Pam.

“We aren’t clean,” said Alan.

“That doesn’t matter,” said Anne. “The seats are washable and she’ll enjoy cleaning it after.”

So the three sat at the breakfast bar with their dirty arses and drank tea and ate cupcakes. They chatted and the subject got on to Laura, Alan’s Wife.

Anne told Pam what Alan had said earlier about what Pam wouldn’t do sexually. Clearly, Alan would like to be a lot more adventurous.

“Why don’t you introduce her to us?” said Anne.

“Heavens!” said Alan, “she would probably have a fit if she knew what you two are into.”

“We wouldn’t scare her, Alan,” said Pam, “we would keep our clothes on for a start until, maybe, she would get comfortable with stripping if it were just Anne and I. We could very gradually raise the subject of Sex and how there are all sorts of things that you can enjoy. First, she should probably come with you and then after that we could have ‘girls only’ times.”

“Maybe,” said Alan, “but she is likely to be away a lot for the time being because of her father’s health problems.”

“More fun for us then!” said Anne.

“I’d be more interested in, Laura,” said Pam. Alan didn’t look to happy about that. “Only if you agree, Alan,” she quickly added.

After tea they all showered together and took pleasure in soaping and washing each other. Alan got dressed and left for his own flat.

“Well, well, well, that was a bit of fun. Poor man, I’m not entirely sure what he made of it and of our suggestion that we get at, sorry, talk with, Laura to see if we can Free her up a bit,” said Pam.

“We’ll see what happens. He may never come back though he does have to do your tiling. Actually, we got distracted from dealing with that properly didn’t we. Personally, I wish you would leave them as they are,” said Anne.

“Maybe,” said Pam. She went over to clean the seats at the breakfast bar with a disinfectant when she noticed the patterns on them made by their shitty arses. She got out her camera and took pictures of the patterns.

“You’ll photograph anything,” said Anne.

“That’s right – that’s me. I am sure I can produce something that looks like a work of abstract art from these”.

“You know we each have something from Alan inside us,” said Anne. They embraced each other passionately.

“I know,” said Pam,”but it’s you I really fancy, especially when you are dirty!”