CHAPTER 1

It’s funny how you can all the time want something, but think it’s truly unobtainable.

And then, one day, you decide… Why not just go for it? What’s keeping you from trying?

I remember the day it all started, when I got just a little too bold and maybe just the right amount of honesty.

We were sitting together in her car, a crumby SUV with just enough space to get up to funny company in the back, when she looked up at me with her chocolate brown eyes and a mischievous smile.

“So, how about you?”

I blinked in surprise, having zoned out a little bit just watching her cute smile with tiny dimples.

“What about me?”

“Anything you’re embarrassed to tell me?”

Immediately I laughed and rolled my eyes, leaning back in my seat and stretching enough for my shirt to ride just a little too far up and expose some skin. “Oh, for sure, but lord knows I’m not telling you any of it.”

She laughed and flipped her curly red hair over her shoulder, cocking an eyebrow and leaning forward across the seat. “Oh no, no I don’t think so! You’ve been asking me questions all night, it’s time to ask you something embarrassing.”

“Not a chance.”

“Oh?” I felt a shiver run up my spine as her soft fingertip began tracing its way across my arm, causing my heart to beat far faster than a simple touch should have. While it was the first time, it would certainly not be the last that I suddenly felt like prey locked in a cage with a predator. “I’m sure you think that but I kind of get the feeling that…” As she spoke she leaned even closer, her soft skin pressing into my arm while radiating a sensual warmth. “…I can easily make that change.”

This wasn’t the first time we’d been in this situation. Veronica would constantly test her boundaries, trying to get under my skin with her sexuality as she knew between the two of us she was the more experienced. We would go back and forth with her implying she had some kind of power in our dynamic due to her experience but at the end of the day the power balance would all the time be tested but remain stable. I would challenge her to test it, and she would back down with a sly giggle.

Truthfully, she more than likely backed down for no other reason than she believed I was uncomfortable which wasn’t entirely untrue but…

Well, I just wasn’t certain how to explain to her that I wanted her to prove me wrong. It probably would be something along the lines of just addressing with her that I enjoyed such a dynamic, but I couldn’t squash that deep feeling in my chest that didn’t want to tell her… I wanted her to show me.

But of course, that was ridiculous, and so as all the time I pussied out of my own feelings and just forced a cocky smirk.

“Oh, and you would do that… How?”

I turned to make more direct eye contact with her, as all the time challenging her with the pitiful hope that she would keep ramping up the tension before I felt my heart full stop as her hand suddenly pressed into the side of my head to keep it from turning and I felt her soft, warm lips press directly against my ear while her hot breath flowed down my neck.

“It’s very simple.” She whispered with a powerful mix of sensualism and confidence I didn’t even know it was feasible. “You want to tell me, you’re just being a wuss about it. So man up…”

My words were caught in my throat as I felt as if she had seen directly through me, and before I could even think of a response I felt her teeth dig into my earlobe as she gave it a long, hedonistic nibble that almost seemed like a threat and a promise bundled into one.

“…Or you’ll miss your chance.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. All my senses felt overloaded and my heart was racing like its life depended on it. My skin was burning, my forehead glistening, and my pants were starting to feel more than just a little tight. She had absolutely hit the nail on the head, and then some, and I felt absolutely vulnerable, like jelly in her hands.

“H-Hey, that’s not fair-!” I was cut off as I felt her tongue briefly enter my ear before beginning to swirl all around it, as if hungrily exploring the tastiest bit before she enjoyed her meal. Fucking HELL where had this come from? We had messed around before, but this was something different.

“What’s not fair…?” Her words continued to flow out of her mouth like a sensual breath before, without warning, she leaned back and let out a girlish giggle. “…The fact that I totally called you out?”

I blinked and let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding, looking at her in confusion as she grinned from ear to ear, her adorable smile as innocent as ever. It was as if the dominant predator that had been in front of my only moments ago had vanished, and in its place was a bubbly red head who just looked proud of herself for causing a little mischief.

“I… you didn’t-!”

“I totally did. Admit it, you’ve been keeping a secret and I just totally called you on it. Just spill! There’s nothing to be ashamed of!”

My cheeks were burning bright red as I sat up and straightened my clothes, trying to regain some sort of composure. “Look, it’s embarrassing okay! And I’ve… Never really spoken with anyone about it ever, so it’s kind of hard to just… admit, ya’ know?”

“Yeah I get it.” She responded with a somber nod, although the shining look of impish pride still shone in her eyes. “Still, if you’re not going to trust me, who are you going to?”

I remained silent as I weighed my options and tried to run everything through my head, but I found myself staring at her large eyes and felt myself realizing she was right. I trusted her with everything… Why not this?

“Okay… Okay. Fine. Look… I like being choked.”

She blinked and her face grew entirely devoid of any expression. Ah shit. She thinks I’m weird.

“That’s… That’s it? Shit, Jasper, everyone likes that at least a little bit!” Or maybe not.

“Yeah but like… you know what, never mind.”

Before I even had a chance to move I heard her clambering over and was shoved back against the passenger side door as she climbed to my side of the car, her face suddenly in mine with one eyebrow raised. “Tell me, Jasper. You obviously want to, and you’re just a big dummy who gets in his own head too much. Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Despite myself, I felt the tiniest groan escape my lips as I looked back at her.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“No. I don’t. I’m entitled to laugh at you, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you and it doesn’t mean I think less of you. You laugh at me because I get stressed driving. I get to laugh at you for this.” Her nose scrunched up slightly as she looked up to think. “Well, if I find it funny, anyways.”

My lips pursed into a thin line before I sucked in a deep breath, and closed my eyes. Fuck it. Just say it, Jasper. Don’t be a bitch.

“Your thighs. I’d like to be choked by your thighs.” My eyes remained closed, and she remained silent. The clever thing to do would have been to wait, but I found now that the damn was broken I couldn’t keep it in and might as well let it all out.

“And that thing you just did? The whole whispering thing? I loved that. Like, so much. But not just that, the ways you made me feel, the way you were in control, I-I just-MPH!”

Once again I was cut off but this time it was because lips crashed into mine, and for a moment I was lost in the passionate kiss before she pulled away, looking at me with an absolutely unreadable expression.

“W…What?” I asked breathlessly.

“You’re cute. That’s all.”

Oh. Well, that wasn’t the reaction I was expecting.

“Okay… And?”

“And what? You’re cute. And you’re extra cute when you’re flustered.”

“Yeah but what about everything else?”

“What about it? You’ve got some fetishes. I get that. Everyone has em’. And yours are a little weird but…” She shrugged and pecked me on the check. “…At least it’s not some of the really weird stuff. “

I felt my heart drop a little bit as I forced a smile and nodded. Well, at least she didn’t hate me for it I guess?

“Yeah, I guess so. Thanks for being cool about it. Most girls probably would get weirded out by being into headscissors and dominance stuff.”

She shrugged and moved back to her side of the car, a soft smile on her face. “No worries, dude. I’m pretty cool, I guess.”

Despite her not having a negative reaction, I found myself feeling disappointed. I had finally opened up, and it really felt like it wasn’t gonna go anywhere. Which was okay, of course, I just felt like-

“Alrighty then.” She suddenly spoke as she unlocked the car and opened her door to get out.

My head snapped to look at her as my brow furrowed in concern.

“Alrighty what?”

“Well… I’m clearing out the backseat. I’ve never choked anyone out with my legs before, so you’re going to have to teach me if I’m going to do it right. Get ready to be knocked on your ass, mister.”